mom2emall,
I dont know too much off hand on your situation but it sounds like this biomom is desperate for money.
Personally i cannot stand any human being who takes advantage of systems by lying. Especially when they use their kids.
I would call welfare and report her name immediately that day. Your husband should provide proof they reside with him and to stop her immediatley from doing this again.
Why doesnt' she have a job???? Is she a substance abuser?
And antoher note, for being such a caring mom, she must really think of her kids coming so early in the morning to your house.
1. lack of respect for another household with the timing.
2. lack of respect for the fact she didn't phone in advance.
3. lack of respect towards your husband for not acting out on what they agreed.
4. lack of respect for her kids by attempting ot wake them so early, no breakfast and taking them to a secret place?????
Your husband was completelyon the ball for not allowing her ot take them. She can cry all she wants. Your husband was rudely awaken and she is demanding her sleeping kids wake up, no breakfast to comewith her? She sounds desperate and is not really thinking of her kids but of herself.
Most people who are desperate do not have a clue.

Am I correct that this woman has given up her visitation rights? I may be way off but I think if she was causing me the kind of trouble that she is causing you I would check with the police and see if they would talk to her. I know she needs help but to show up at any hour of the day or night is pretty unsettling and it disturbs the household.

I think that you are right on to assume that she was trying to pull a fast one. Can your DH contact welfare and inform them of your suspicions? I'd check into that also.

This kind of stuff gets old really fast. I feel for you guys. What a pain for you and DH and it's so unhealthy for the poor kids. I hope this is resolved soon. You have my sympathies. I'm sorry that BM is so messed up. I feel sorry for her as well. Her situation, however, is not your families cross to bare. Or at least it shouldn't be.

Any moron knows kids need a stable schedule. They need to know that the visits will be at the same time on the same day every week. By biomom just showing up at all hours of any given day she is turning the entire house upside down.

If J had to get out of bed at 6:30 because of an unannounced visit from the girls mom he would be livid! Is it a control issue with this woman? Why the hell couldn't she just tell you what was so urgent? I'm with belivier...if she HAS given up her rights I'd contact the authorities and if she hasn't I'd comlain to the court that she isn't sticking to the visitation plan and it's causing upheaval.

My X showed up once at 8AM on saturday to take DD wihtout warning. I was so furious and mad that he never ever did it again.

Well then my X is a total moron, not only are his visits rare, but totally unscheduled.

I just can not imagine showing up to my son's dads home during his visitation and just demanding to take my son right then! And I sure can not imagine showing up to my skids bm's home early in the morning during her time with the kids and demanding to take the kids!

It is just insane to me!

Everyone has phones, so I just do not see the problem with using them! I can not imagine something popped up at 6am this morning. Whatever her little secret was she probably knew about it in advance. Why not call us yesterday and ask to take the kids overnight or make plans to take them early this morning. But to show up at our home so early in the morning shows her complete lack of consideration for anyone. And it is just plain annoying that my only day to sleep in was ruined by her ignorance!

My exH has never shown up quite that early, but he did come by once to take them someplace without any notice, and when I wasn't there. I assume he would have let me know they were going even if he hadn't had to call me because no one could find their socks.... He claimed he had emailed me, but I don't think he really had.

On several occasions, he has called and asked to take them out to lunch/dinner at the last moment with maybe half an hour's notice. I don't have a problem with that, anymore than I would have a problem with a friend calling them up and asking them to come over at the last moment.

We just have had so many issues with her that we NEED more of a set schedule with her. The kids are in activities and we are very social and often plan activities with our kids and other families. So last minute plans do not always work out. If she planned things in advance then there would be less conflicts. And she would get more time with them!

If friends call the kids to play at the last moment and the kids are not available their friends do not stand on our front porch screaming and crying......BM does!

Good freakin' grief - seriously? How can she even think that acceptable behavior? Did the kids not have school today?

I can understand, to some degree, 30 minute notice for a dinner if the parents have that type of working parenting agreement, AND if the other parents recognized that with little notice they are not guaranteed a yes. . . just like with a friend.

TOS I'm sure you have to agree with this one, that showing up unannounced, with NO notice, at 6;45 in the morning demanding to take the kids somewhere she won't disclose is not the same as 30 minutes notice for a lunch or dinner. With behavior like that, I would have to wonder if the kids would be safe had they been allowed to go, which of course, the shouldn't have.

Monday was Columbus Day - I thought all public schools were closed.

6:45 is a tad early, and I probably couldn't drag my kids out of bed on a holiday at that time for anything short of a trip to Disneyworld. But why would she need her kids with her to apply for welfare?

We had a full day of school yesterday, although fall break is later this week.

The kids were off school for Columbus Day. When they visited her out of state 2 years ago she brought them to the welfare office there. The older one told us about it!

So I am thinking that since she has no proof they live with her (since they don't) that her plan is to bring them with her to show that she has them?

Who knows what that lady thinks! All I know is it is not acceptable to show up at our home that early for anything!

tos, our district was open. as all others in the area.

I don't believe in scheduled visits, but I believe in arranging ahead of time in case kid has somehting else planned. or in case kids are not even home!

We were open as well, but had the preceeding Monday off. Go figure?

this lady sounds like she is off her rocker..I think your DH needs to sit down with her and work out a scheduled visitation arrangement, have your lawyer write it up and then file it with the courts. I know she gave up her visitation rights but honestly unless you have some really bad stuff against her she could go back to court at anytime and they would give her visitation with the kids. It I am sure would be better for all involved if you work out between you all rather than the courts....Our BM is an infrequent visitor (it has been about a year) but when we revised visitation a few years back we basically put that she was given so many weekends per month (fill in the blank) that were convenient to her (no set schedule) BUT she had to provide so many days/weeks notice of what weekend she wanted...another suggestion is to not do pick ups/drop off at your home or hers, select a neutral drop off/pick up spot and stick to it. Make sure its in your agreement and explain to BM that she will not get the kids if she shows up at your house....I am so glad your kiddos slept through it i am sure it would have been traumatic for them to wittness...