This was posted on another thread and being from a military family, part of which is active, I felt like I needed to address this:

"From what I understand the armed forces try to accomodate moves. And the other children know they could be the next new kid. It is not quite the same."

Let me address the first sentence first. Some positions, yes, the Navy accommodates their requests more. But, with other positions, they do not. My sister and nieces have moved 3 times in the past year and will move again next winter. The kids are young, but it still has left them with no steady friends. It was definitely NOT because they chose that for their kids. Only once have they even given them a choice of duty stations and none of the 3 choices were their current location. After being gone to bootcamp for over 13 weeks (because he had to stay there until his next school started), His school was moved from San Diego, where the family had already moved to Pensacola and had to leave my sister and the girls in San Diego for 6 months before they could move. Then they moved to Jacksonville, Florida for another school, this one 3 months. Then, the unit he was joining was stationed in Maine until they come back from deployment and then the base will close. So they will have to move back to Jacksonville.

The greatness of this is the enormously strong bond between the 4 of them. They are a much stronger family unit now. They "get" eachother in ways no one else will and they've experienced emotions that no family that has ever been in that position can ever understand.

As far as the second sentence goes, it is true, they DO know they could be the next new kid. All schools surrounding military bases are FULL of new kids. If the girls had been able to go to school an entire year (or even most of it) at previous duty stations, she would've let them go. But they haven't been anywhere long enough. That is why my sister chose to homeschool until this year. They will actually get to go to school a whole year this year and that's about the only reason why she has allowed them to go. Then, they will move again and leave friends behind......again. It still hurts. Even though they know it in their head that it's coming.

And, finally, the last sentence: There are ALOT of similarities between what my sister has had to go through and a divorce. It is true that she does not have the dirty feeling of another woman taking her husband. Sknows that MILLIONS of other people are taking her husband. True, she doesn't have to answer the question "Who's Daddy's GF?". But she still has to answer these questions: Where will we live? Where is Daddy? When is Daddy coming home? Why don't we have money for the Zoo? My sister has been a single mother of 2 for the better part of the 2 years BIL has been in the military. Every time he has to leave for a different school, it FEELS like a divorce. The raw emotions present at that time are so powerful. They feel torn and scared of the future, just as in a divorce. They rarely get to speak to eachother while he's gone. And I'm not even talking about deployment! I'm just talking about going to different schools and staying in the US.

My brother left on 8/30 for the Middle East. I am used to it as he has been in for 10 years. But, this time, he flew through here especially to spend the night with us (mom, dad, me, DS and FDH) before going. No, he's not my husband. No, he does not financially support me. But watching him walk away FELT like my heart was ripping in two. Watching him leave, I was filled with so much emotion that my heart felt raw and aching. And you know what? We ALL felt that way! Even DS asked: When is Uncle going to be back? Where is Uncle going?