Signs of the times. Real or invented some are funny. Sign over a Gynecologist's Office "Dr. Jones, at your cervix." ---------------------------------------- In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." ---------------------------------------- On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon: "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels" ---------------------------------------- On another Septic Tank Truck: "We're #1 in the #2 business" ---------------------------------------- At a Proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit please back in." ---------------------------------------- On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." ---------------------------------------- On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber." ---------------------------------------- On a Church's Billboard: "7 days without God makes one weak." ---------------------------------------- At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout." ---------------------------------------- On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?" ---------------------------------------- At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." ---------------------------------------- On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts." ---------------------------------------- In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." ---------------------------------------- On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push." ---------------------------------------- At an Optometrist's Office : "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place." ---------------------------------------- On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff." ---------------------------------------- On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!" ---------------------------------------- At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." ---------------------------------------- Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming." ---------------------------------------- In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" ---------------------------------------- At the Electric Company : "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be." ---------------------------------------- In a Restaurant window : "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up." ---------------------------------------- In the front yard of a Funeral Home : "Drive carefully. We'll wait." ---------------------------------------- At a Propane Filling Station , "Thank heaven for little grills." ---------------------------------------- Chicago Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."

Sneaking in late.good job Nancy starting this thread! Alexa, please post a picture of you all done up to the nines. Stacy have fun with your pork haul, been following the conversation on your thread. Good luck with car shopping toomy 10 yr old, 150K van is still going strong but starting to creak.maybe Ill let DS #2 have it. Yikes! AM these years will fly. Sharon the weather is finally turning cool here too and I may try canning again, good luck with yours. Hang in there Goldgirl, one day you will have a life again. LindaC (still want to go to LindaWhatever) let us know what you do with those apples. Pat T: One more semester! One more semester! One more semester!!!....... One more semester! One more semester! One more semester!!!.......that enough? Maggie I have no concept of close up the house, but good luck. Annie, DS #2s English teacher has a photo of a giant fork stuck in a road on her website. I chuckle every time I get there. I hope that chef puts out food worthy of your standards, I know youll be analyzing every dish to see if you can do better. Bring us some good recipes, and pix of salmon hauls. Mimsic feel better. Wednesday night approacheth. Duane, 11 dogs.wow. Glad you have the work but oh boy thats a lot of poop to pick up. Stacie, glad your gallbladder is cooperating until you can deal with it! Doug, my in-laws are dealing with a bunch of elderly cats. You guys are all saints. Hey if the pizza turns out, I have some caputo flour I can send ya. I picked up some at a local Italian store (same one I get my 6-in-1 tomato sauce, also beloved by pizza heads). My DH is the pizza guy here so I may get him to make something tonight. Hmmmm..cool weathermaybe pizza. Sherrmann we are busy w/bdays in October too. I notice lots of bdays this time of year.means people are busy in February when its cold, and nice and warm inside? Darfc. Shaun watch out I might just crank call ya while you are working the phonesFeel better! Rhome410, nice haul, welcome again to the forum. Dedtired I feel your pain. DH has more time off work so he has decided to go on a closet clean out rampage. My closets too. Grrrr. Sometimes being single looks good. Hey Ellen think reciprocation.vacation in New Zealand? Photo ops! Lyra, mixed blessings, eh? Stick to your guns, sweetie. Tobyt, by now you should know is OK for non-liner postings, LOL. Youre an old timer and have earned it! SharonCB, welcome home! Susie hang in there, I think the market will turn around, but not for a while. I have friends in similar boats. Terri, keep your finger on that farm job. Somehow I bet that teen wont last long and theyll be calling you again. Bri29 enjoy the projects, gotta love em. Me? I surf WAY too much. Awwww David. You need a HUG. Sending you a big one. Looking forward to the real thing in November. Peppi, glad to hear the house survived that rain you showed us. And a Foodsaver set up looks PERFECT for that new couple, good thinking! Katiec, my favorite librarian, keep on trucking. Jojoco were couch potatoes. Im jealous! Happygram youre not as much of a lurker as you think you are bwahahaa. Hey we have our own quilter on the forum, Teresa NC7. Go check out her excuse me thread on conversations, if you havent already (too lazy to check). Sprout26, Im craving Utah againtime to think of skiing. Happy Anniversary! cotehele, I have a funny Il Trovatore story (were BIG operaholics). When the kiddies were young, we took them to a student preview. We had prepared them by showing them the movie, telling them the character/story, playing the music (especially the Anvil Chorus) and of course showing them the Marx Brothers A Night at the Opera. DS #2 fell asleep in the car on the way there. He woke up crying I dont want to sit through a three hour opera!. The minute the house lights went down, and the curtain up on the castle scene, his eyes got big and he was enthralled through intermission. We sneaked down from nosebleed to third row center after intermission. After the show he proclaimed mom, if I can sit here, I want to go to operas! Ka-ching, ka-ching.um grow up a bit, kid when you can sit through the Ring cycle, well add you to our subscription. LindaC, every time there is an empty seat by us, I put you there in spirit. Kathleen.enjoy a quiet weekend. I like alternative busy ones with quiet times. [hint: I open a Word document, make it a smaller window, and catch up from there.] Chancesmom, give that girl a hammer and nails and put her to work on that demo. We put ziplocks of time capsule stuff in our bathroom walls when we were remodeling a newspaper, a letter, etc. I asked the future owners why they dont like my gaudy Italian powder room, LOL. Rachel, good luck moving. No info on the new kitchen? My turn? Yikes! Friday we had my inlaws over for dinner, DH put a chicken on his beloved Big Green Egg. Im the only one in the family that doesnt like chicken/beef on that thing. It was a late dinner because he had spent the afternoon in downtown LA talking with a Bee Keeping company. Because of our garden, we now have a hive on our side yard (pretty sure its Euro not African beasties) and DH wants to keep it but move it down to the bottom of the garden. May not be doable, but hell try. Its next to a row of oleanders and he says honey from those blossoms are toxic, so we wont be harvesting any. Saturday we started setting up our sukkah or booth for the Biblical Festival of the Tabernacles which starts Oct 13th. We come up with humorous decorative themes remodeling (hanging power tools from the roof), disco, my favorite a few years ago was mentally ill bible heroes. Lots of those! This year Im thinking it would be topical to choose either Jewish bankers (good AND bad) or Jewish political candidates. LOL. Last night we took the kids, as part of DS #1s bday present, to see The Capitol Steps; he is into politics. We went out to a good Japanese restaurant, his favorite, before hand. Good laughs. Poor kids bday falls on Yom Kippur eve this year. Bound to happen as he was born the day after YK. Today DH and I are going to a swap meet to pick up more parts for the sukkah. I think Ill put up a pizza (Dougs fault) for tonight. I have to start planning Yom Kippurs dinner meal on Wednesday nightDS #1 has asked for salmon in puff pastry, and I suggested it would be good with an avgolemono sauce, with orzo pilaf on the side he is delighted. Whew, it was easy doing this on Word, with the TGIF thread open in another window, then cutting and pasting! Clinking with water to everyone (big water drinker)!

Hi, my name is Lori from suburban Chicago. I have to admit I am a bit glassy-eyed from reading this thread...it will take a while for me to remember you all. I am glad to meet you and enjoyed reading your stories. I laughed when I read about the Hookers... I used to tell people I was a drug dealer (I am a Pharmacist, part-time, large chain) I am closing in on 50, married to my college sweetheart (27 years) have 2 sons, 18 & 17. My first memories of sewing are in 8th grade. My mom was an awesome seamstress, but I mostly leaned on my own. I did some garments through high school and college, left sewing for a while, came back when I had kids. I found less pleasure in sewing for boys so I started sewing for my nieces (dresses, doll clothes). Then my college roommate (home ec major) sparked my interest in quilting. My first quilt was for a beloved pre-K teacher who's husband was being transfered to MN. It wasn't a "quality" product...I had the kids (3 & 4 year olds) and their parents to my house to make quilt blocks using fabric paint and who knows what...then I pieced it and stitched in the ditch. That started it all! I will admit here, although most who know me, know this about me.. I am a fabric junkie. I have yet to complete a successful rehab of my addiction. I don't think I own a quilt that I have made. (UFOs don't count) The pre-K teacher's quilt got me started on a series of teacher's quilts. I made a quilt for each teacher (through 6th grade) when my youngest son finished the grade. Both sons went to a small Lutheran school, one son right after the other.. I kind of felt like it was combat pay for the teacher, surviving both boys. I had a common theme for these quilts, Each year I would trace the hands of the students in the class and formulate a quilt around the choosen theme of the school year. My youngest son transfered schools after 6th grade. I had planned on his 8th grade quilt to have had a current handprint and an "original" handprint (from JK or whenever a student arrived at the school), but that quilt never came to be. I found the GardenWeb when I was doing a kitchen rennovation a couple of years ago.(a 20+ year in the making project) I stumbled upon the quilt forum when I did a google search on longarm machines. I recently purchased a Tin Lizzie (used from Ebay) I haven't recieved it yet, a bit nervous about it. I own an old singer (was my high school graduation gift),an antique treadle machine, a babylock serger (LOVE IT)and my workhorse Brother Ult 2001. I also love machine embroidery (many of my quilts have some embroidery somewhere) and digitizing. It's kind of amazing for someone who never thought she had an artistic bone in her body.(Math and Science -yes). I am currently working on: 1. a quilt for an assistant pastor who is retiring. (should be working on that right now...) 2. college for son A (senior in high school) 3. college for son B (junior in high school) 4. sorority items for nieces and friend's daughters... found I loved to make gift items when my oldest niece joined a sorority her freshman year. I have made tote bags, pillowcases, night lights, sweatshirts, pillows, photo albums..My favorite is the quilt I made for my niece (picture in the gallery) Notice missing from this list... housework... never on my to do list if I can help it. Ok, I will also admit I like to chat... I can be wordy... thanks for listening.. Lori

When I was born and came home from the hospital, I was introduced to my first SMALL HOUSE. 900 and something sf 3 bedroom 1 bath in a tract neighborhood. This was home to my mother, father and 3 siblings. I lived there until I moved out and into a SMALL rental HOUSE. From there, a banker friend I worked with and I decided to build a new SMALL HOUSE. 3/2, 1,400 sf, nice, new, loved it. He started dating, then married one of my former girlfriends so he bought me out and I moved on. I bought an older SMALL HOUSE, 2/1, large lot, haunted. Yes, haunted. Sounds unbelieveable and I am not prone to things that go bump in the night but if you spent any time in this house you would be a believer. Sold that. Bought a lot and designed then built a 2/2 about 1,100 sf. This was a perfect SMALL HOUSE for me. The local economy took a turn for the worse (1988/1989) I was working on commission and had to sell the house and move back in with my parents temporarily. Unable to find a job in Florida, I packed my car and moved to South Carolina. I rented a SMALL apartment, met my wife and she moved in. From there to a slightly larger SMALL apartment, then we bought our marital home, 3/2 1,500 sf. Although it was just a run of the mill, older 3/2 with a one car carport, it was great neighborhood and I loved living there. My two sons were raised there. It had a den and a formal living room. We rarely used the living room, in fact, most of the time, it never even had furniture in it so in reality, we actually lived in about 1,300 sf of that SMALL space. Divorce took me to another SMALL apartment and from there to my current SMALL home. 3/1, 1024 sf. Oh, I too had a lover in AR. "Had" means she made other choices too and that still hurts. Sorry if I strayed off topic, but it was a SMALL indescretion. :) Scott