Psuedo, I am so sorry. For her and you and even the children.

pseudo, I'm sorry. That is so terribly sad.

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend! It's sad and disgusting how the kid feels about it. My prayers go out to those kids that when they are old enough they see the real truth, whatever that may be.

I am so so sorry.

I'm at a loss of words. It's heartbreaking to think of kids feeling that way (and especially saying with such coldness) that about their mother. Whatever my mom has done, she's still my mom. I find it very sad if one parent supports their children in feeling that way about the other parent, even if he or they feel justified, where's the humanity? I'm so sorry for you and my prayers are also with her kids. I'm not sure it would be good for them to ever realize the callousness of how they feel now. I imagine the guilt they might feel later on, could destroy their lives. That is what I find saddest of all. If dad's hate for mom is so strong he isn't bothered that his kids could be wracked with guilt for saying that about her death. Whenever they are old enough to see the real truth(if they ever really do), that is when they will be impacted on what they did now.

How sad. Not to be mourned by your own children is a horrible way to go. I hope this man wakes up and realizes how damaged emotionally his children are thanks to his poisoning. To be so cold and obtuse towards your own mother's death....well. There's just no words. It's almost inhuman.

I am sorry to hear about your friend. I feel even sorrier for the kids that they think that way about their mother! What the child was saying sounds like words out of an adults mouth! I think it is very sad when children are brainwashed in that way. Though, I am sure inside the child is mourning the loss of his mother. But he is probably doing it in a way in which he feels will please his dad.

Thank you all for your kind words ... I am just an emotional wreck not only for my friend but for her children. I had not seen them since June. She had moved to another city with the kids so when I saw them today I stopped to talk with them ... my SS10 was crying too and as bad as it may have been I tried to make it a teaching moment ... and said afterwards I felt so bad for the boys that they can't even mourn their mom because of what dad has done ... he never had a nice word for their mother I guess she couldn't take being him beating her up with words anymore ... remember last time we saw him he tried to tell me what a loser my friend was ... and I defended her and told him I didn't want him to talk about her in front of you guys ... "they don't need to know adult stuff" SS's agreed then said ... well he was always yelling at your friend and he was mean to the kids too.

Hubby said ... He's such a pr!ck to everyone just sad the only way she could deal with him was to take her own life. Those poor boys when they get older and they realize their dad was the reason they will be some messed up adults.

I am so sorry. what a sad story.

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. It is such a sad, sad story. Geri

"when they get older and they realize their dad was the reason they will be some messed up adults."

Well, I agree, they'll be some messed-up adults...
but they aren't likely to ever realize their dad is anything less than absolutely honest about their mother.

Children accept "reality" as their parents teach it:

They're likely to think their mother was a nut case as long as they live, & their girlfriends & wives will pay the price & never know the reason why.

It's just tragic, for everybody except their self-serving father.

Oh dear that is horrible. I am so sorry for your loss.

I agree with Sylvia though, the boys aren't likely to ever realize how horrible a thing there father has done. He has already made her "useless" to them. Very, very distressing all the way around.

~Cat

Oh no.
This is terrible.
One of my concerns is the guilt that these kids will feel as they grow older.
I had a great relationship with my mom (especially as far as teenage girls and their moms go) and I have still struggled with guilt issues since her death then years ago.
I struggle with my own desire to be a normal teenage girl with my own life (healthy) instead of spending every minute with her looking after her while she died of cancer (unhealthy).

I can only imagine how your friend's children will struggle with guilt that they "let" their father poison them against their mother, which was her "last straw" before she ended her life. This ISN'T their fault, because they are only children, but I am concerned that they will have HORRIBLE HORRIBLE guilt issues later in life and feel that way.

Recall that I have had "honesty pop" this evening: I am frequently overwhelmed by guilt that I asked if I could still go out with my friends that night when my mom told me that she wasn't going to get better and I talked about how I felt with them instead of her. I feel terrible about how that must have made her feel and feel that I was a horrible wretch of a daughter for what I said. But I also know that my mom knew I loved her and just didn't know how to deal at home, so I can (mostly) forgive myself.
If I still occasionally feel like a terrible person and bawl my eyes out for that, how will her kids feel??

Poor kids. Their father is a monster for poisoning these children against their mother, setting them up for huge guilt disasters later in life.

pseudo....I have heard of few things so heart wrenching. You are in for one long and painful journey.

The kids, my God the poor kids.....I want this sob to get whats coming to him...soon.

I cannot explain in words how this makes me feel. I am so sorry.