Doodle, that is so sad. I have trouble even comprehending a mother being that unconcerned about her children.

What I'm wondering about, is the twins being separated decided on a school by school basis? My grandaughters were in 1st grade last year and were in the same class (public school). There were no problems, either with them OR the teacher. My daughter decided to separate them this year just to let them cultivate their own friends but evidently the school doesn't care. In your case I would not want them separated. Good luck with the school board.

she is on drugs, so she is sick. we cannot judge her by our standards. sick people operate differently. it is not an excuse of course. but maybe it would be better for the girls if they know (when they are bit older) that it is not that mommy does not care or love them, it is just that mommy is sick.

school absolutelly has to keep girls together if parents insist. good luck.

"Watch out for the best interests of the teaches" -- what type of nonsense is that. I dont even understand it. I can understand best interst of teacher if you have a child being abusive to teachers, but this is unbeleivable. I can understand if they said, best interest of child to seperate them (to allow each to develope as individual), but this in ridiculous. If I were you, I would make certain dad keeps a contemperaneous diary of any discussions.

Gajoba- I have trouble understanding it myself. It's hard to have sympathy for sure.

As far as the seperation goes...Jonathan asked the principal straight up if this was a "school board policy or just a personal preference?" and the principal said "wel I prefer to....blah blah blah." and started spewing all of his rehearsed text book reasons why it's best for the girls.

Finedreams- That's what we have always told them. Mommy loves you but can't be a good mommy becasue she is sick. What else can we say? It's hard.

I think they should have to keep them together as well.

KKNY-He did go into all the reasons why it's "good for the girls" but Jonathan said,S*** you not,that the first words out of his mouth was "I have to watch out for my teachers."
Whoes interests is seperating the girls REALLY serving!? What a load of horses***!!!! So Jonathan explained their situation and said he only wants them together for this first year untill they adjust to mom being gone and to school and still the butthole would not budge.

I called the Superintendent and set up an appointment for J to go tomorrow at 2 O'clock to plead his case. He has no phone access during the day so I made SURE he got the appointment ASAP. Here's hoping this guy isn't a control freak and see's individual children and not just numbers:(

I dont even understand why it is in the best interest of the teachers. These are little kids. Its not like they are going to be ganging up on the teachers. It may be too late, but I would ask principal why it is in best interest of teacher. I can not imagine any response that would make sense.

it is weird. agree with kkny. it is not like teachers already know these girls and formed an opinion. kind of like: oh no these girls cannot be together, they destroy my classroom. but they do not even know these kids. why is it in their interest? could it be that they have bad experience with twins to begin with? just twins in general?

weird.

That is why I want to hear from the horses mouth what the problem is. I can understand OTHER kids mom getting upset, saying my child will have to get used to school all by himself/herself, and will feel it unfair that they dont have a sibling. Once you hear response, no matter how stupid, you can deal with it better.

That is really so sad....but, like you said, hopefully for the best for these precious girls. I think if BM stays away, they will do so much better rather than have her bounce in and out of their lives. Sad to say, but if she keeps living the way she is, and doesn't get serious about getting and STAYING clean/sober...she will probably not be alive in the future. :(

I think your explanation to the twins is perfectly fine and age-appropriate right now. When they get older, they can learn more, but for now, that is a perfectly fine answer.

They are blessed to have you and your DH in their lives.

LOVE- Thank you for the kind words. We feel it is probably sadly for the best as well. Her bouncing in and out and their hopes going up and crashing down has been the hardest thing. We are hoping the girls will be OK with enough love and support from us. It has actually been heading in this direction for about 7 months. She has cut the ties little by little.

KKNY and Finedreams- I am as flabbergasted and confused as you ladies as to what the big friggin deal is. The best I can figure is Fine hit the nail on the head and there has been bad experiences in the past with twins disrupting the class. He was COMPLETELY unsympathetic about what the girls are experiencing in their personal lives. He was also apparently very annoyed when Jonathan said he needed the name of his superior. I think the man is a control freak who isn't use to people going over his head. He is going to curse the day we waltzed into his office poor guy. Daddy isn't excepting no for an answer where his kids are concerned. I'll update after the appointment tomorrow and tell you what the big dog says.

At the risk of getting flamed, I suspect it MIGHT be racially motivated, and that they want to equalize the number of white children in each classroom. Which is another reason why I would like to hear from the school what their reasoning is (after I picked myself up off the floor).

If in any way that is what they tell your DH, I would say that is the most racist thing in the world, and the kids wont care if the adults dont make a big deal. These kids have been through a lot, they dont need more. I could be wrong, but you and DH might want to talk about this possibility and not bring it up, but if it any way the school does, be prepared with response. If I were convinced I would be moving within one year, I might bring up the possibility of a lawsuit.

KKNY- We thought so initially as well but as it turns out there will be four white children starting the school this year so they could in theory put the girls in one class and the other two children in another. They split the white kids up equally into each class.

I would almost be willing to bet money that Finedreams was correct and that the guy being a control freak isn't helping the situation much.

Please keep us posted, my heart goes out. Having a child starting school is stressful enough.

We are beyond stressed. Mom just moved almost three hours away just yesterday and we are still trying to figure how to break it to the girls. As if that isn't hard enough on them four days they go to a new scary place where the staff are going to try and take them away from each other as well.

We will know after his 2:00 with the superintendent. Wish him luck and thanks for the support. I was starting to think maybe we WERE being ridiculous but everyone here seems to agree it isn't in the girls best interest right now and most importantly it should be DAD'S decision not some balding degree holding self righteous power hungry freak behind a desk. I am a little irked....can you tell? :)

My brother and I were put in separate classrooms in preschool. My brother cried and screamed so loud: where is my sister!!! The whole building could hear him. My parents demanded that we were put in the same room. So remembering that experience they insisted we are in the same classroom when we actually started kindergarden. We were in the same classroom up until grade 5.

My twin and i were not separated until my twin fell ill and he lost a year from me. Before that we always were in the same classroom.
In high school we were in a joined 7th and 8th grade biology class. The teacher thought were were cheating so he separated us during an exam and we both got the wrong answeres wrong in the same manner with the same spelling mistakes and he just couldnt' understand. He said in front of the class how can you guys see each others papers!? your in the front and your brother is in the back?" I said, ' what is so difficutl to understand. We study together at home ! of course we will make the same mistakes and spelling! lol.. After that we were never separated again. We made a great team in bioclass! lol