Choosing Cats over Friends
Sorry, I'm posting this here because I don't know where else to put it and I really want some feedback. I did ask the moderator to create a new forum. Anyway, I have a dear dear friend and we go back to when I was 5 years old. A few times a year my husband and I visit the state I'm from and stay with them. We have a ball, we all get along great and they always tell us we're like family and that their guest room is basically our room, in fact, they put a sign in there to that effect. So sweet. Last November, their son and his girlfriend ran into some financial problems so they invited them to live with them for 2 years while they get their act together. So they moved into their finished basement and along with them came 4 cats. Long-haired, territorial cats that I'm told have free reign of the house, bedrooms, sofas, kitchen counters, you name it. so I am severely allergic to cats, to the point where I can usually only be in a house with a cat for an hour tops before I'm ready for medication, eyes are almost swollen, difficulty breathing, etc. Once in a while there is a cat that I'm not allergic two, but that's like less than 1%. So obviously, our days of staying with them are over. It's really sad for me and I honestly feel like they chose cats over us. If they didn't have a finished basement and their kids had to move into the guest room, no problem! I've had to do the same thing. But I feel like they chose cats, not even their cats, but their son's girlfriends cats, over us, friends for 50+ years. And keep in mind that the kids can't afford to pay their bills, so I don't understand how they have pets anyway, but that's a whole different story. I can honestly say I would never in a million years do this to her. If the shoe was on the other foot, my kids would be told no cats, my best friend who stays here occasionally is severely allergic, period. And by the way, they visit us often too. I can't imagine doing anything to prevent them from visiting, they mean the world to us. She made a comment that she would make sure the cats stay out of our room. Huh? Am I supposed to stay in the bedroom the whole time I'm there??? There's an event going on and I said that's ok, I'll just get a hotel room and she was like ok. It's almost like she's making herself the victim. She knows of my allergies, goes back to our childhood. Phone conversations have become strained, even though I don't even bring it up. I won't let this ruin our friendship but do I have a right to be disappointed and hurt? Maybe I'm missing something here, I would appreciate any insight/suggestions.