So at long last I have an update. I did try on quite a few- and ended up with 3 finalists. I anguish over most decisions, this one included. The original one, I tried on again and didn't love it as much and also realized that while I could wear a strapless bra if I were perhaps a guest, as mother of the bride who wants to dance and go crazy, that was not an option. I spent m time at the stores, and also ordered quite a few (at the end, I was ordering dresses in 2 sizes because you never know. ( I don't know how the picture will show up but I got this dress in navy and I love it. It is understated but has some bling, is long but not sweeping the floor, very flattering on and-------has a short sleeve bolero jacket for coverage but looks good without It as well. I actually took it to a tailor today to tweak it. It covers me fine, but she will raise the straps a tad and also ensure that the bra straps are totally covered. I am very excited and cannot wait to wear it. and----it's comfy!!! Now for shoes. I know I want strappy, and am looking for super comfy but of course pretty. I think a wedge could work since it is a garden wedding......... but yay I have a dress!! Here is a link that might be useful: prettiness

Perhaps the difference between "couple shower" and "couples shower" is a matter of the ear.....they sound very much the same.....actually it's a lot more difficult to say "couples shower"....so the error was likely mine. And also men are invited....both men who are part of a "couple" and single men friends....with or without a date. Anyhow I think it's a lovely custom....the party given fro my daughter at a friends house on a lovely summer evening, featured jugs of wine set in ice filled copper boilers around the yard and the deck, and similar onef filled with beer. Dinner was a chicken casserole...probably a salad and rolls....don't remember dessert but if I know the friends who gave the shower, probably wedding cake. There were about 80 people invited and each couple was asked to contribute a small amount and the hostesses bought a lovely Wallace silver coffee service. tray coffee pot, tea pot, cream and sugar. It sits on my daughter's buffet server and is used for Christmas Easter, Birthdays and other occasions I am sure. I don't know how the custom got started but it's been the custom among my circle of friends. I have given several, one time it was a back yard hamburger cook out and the gift was a very nice grill, another time it was a fancy cocktail buffet for 80 people ( my house was bursting!) and the gift was the bride's china...not all of it but a couple of place settings of Lenox, another time we did a garden party with oven fried chicken potato salad, beans slaw and strawberry shortcake and the gift was a piece of antique oak furniture. All the parties were given by 2 ior 3 couples and we did all the cooking. We had lots of fun! Linda C

It's funny, I grew up with a mom who always had her clothing altered but somehow I have never thought of it. Quite a few of the dresses were close but no cigar........ and this one I kept coming back to (and other than the no jacket ).. as I said the neckline was really ok but I am well endowed and just didn't want any cleavage to show. When I took it to the dressmaker, she at first just suggested raising the shoulders. Then we looked a bit more and she ended up doing a lot more (as I said, the armhole tweaking and the bra snaps so the cap sleeves can be more extended over the shoulders).... but I know it will look like perfection. The dress was quite reasonable, so even adding on quite a bit for the alterations it is still palatable. for shoes, I am at this point going to try for a strappy sort of wedge (for comfort, and for the lawn)... in either silver, navy, or some other metallic....... it will have a lot to do with comfort. I don't really expect to wear a purse much, but I am leaning towards using a really pretty beaded evening purse from my mom which is white with some pastel flowers. I know it's not a perfect match, but I think it will feel nice for me to have her purse at the wedding. ( She' passed in 2004). At least that is what I think for now.

I had the same dilemma. My daughter moved from NJ to California in January and we needed to get creative as far as planning her shower. Because she had to fly in from California the shower was brunch style on Saturday and her bridesmaids and friends had her bachelorette party that night. When I was researching proper etiquette on showers and how to handle the gifts, I found this board. I started to panic when I read some of the responses about not having a shower if the guests can't bring their gifts, or the pay $100 of dollars to ship. The best one was to return all the gifts and re-buy them. Well we didn't do any of that and the guests loved what we did... so here it goes. I wanted to post so anyone else who reads this board can have a good option. On the invitation we wrote: To make _______'s flight home easier, if purchasing a gift, please ship directly to: >>>>> and we put the brides address. For fun!! Wrap a photo or token of the gift you sent to open at the shower. Note: Most stores that would be on a registry offer free shipping. A lot of people teamed up and put their orders together to qualify for free shipping . The bride then set all the packages aside as they got delivered before the shower and she promised not to open. At the shower, when it came time to open presents, it was so much fun to see how creative people were. My sister in-law bought the silverware and wrapped up a set of silver plastic ware and had photos of the actual set. Everyone got to see all the beautiful gifts, and it was fun. At the end of the shower so many people commented that it was the best shower they have been too. They got to see the surprised look on the brides face when opening the gifts. When the shower was over, we were able to pack up all the tokens and smaller gifts into her luggage and I gave her a shopping tote to carry onto the airplane for what wouldn't fit. Something else we did: the groom was not able to fly out that weekend...so we had video clips of him with a welcome and then answering questions about the bride. After each question the bride would give her answer and then we would play his. This was a hit. It took about 12-15 minutes and everyone was laughing at the funny stories. Don't be afraid to throw a shower for an out of state bride. If you only invite close family and friends, they will not mind shipping their gifts. I know if I went through the trouble of shipping a gift to myself, bringing it to a shower, to find out that it was returned, I think I would be upset that the bride and mother had to go through all that trouble, when most times it is free shipping. Those people that did not want to ship a gift ahead of time, purchased gift cards or gave a check. It was a beautiful shower and the bride beamed from beginning to end... She is now back home and just started opening all of the gifts with her husband to be. This worked out perfect and we did not offend anyone. Good luck!!