I would 'drop it' now...let it go. Yeah, SS only now has 1/2 the money to replace the game, but so what? It's no different than anything else involving his BM. He can either look for something that cost 1/2 as much as original gift, Dad can chip in the other half, or he can save up til he has enough for a desired replacement. Too bad for SS...it should not be this way... but you can't choke a replacement gift or money out of BM. Yes, I know, 'she said ______', but this happens each and every time and then she does not do what she said she would. I also would not mention to the kids anything about what BM said about SD/SS's birthdays or presents. It may not (as usual) ever happen. Don't set the kids up for more disappointment/resentment. No more trips to BM's to pick up/drop off either. If she is serious about this or that, let her come to you. If she does not show...oh well. I understand you were trying to be nice and it is you that followed through on the planned arrangements. I get all that. But it is her that is undependable (maybe due to the abuser she lives with) and who isn't going to follow through. She's proved it time and time again. I'm sorry SS did not like his gift. I'm sorry he's only getting half the money...maybe she'll come through, maybe she won't. But next time leave the whole thing up to her. You keep expected her to change from event to event. You and SS don't deserve all the crap that goes along with trying to make it different. She's going to be who she is until she finds the strenght to change things for herself. You can't fix this for her.

Yes, get a court order. Congrats on your pregnancy! If I may make a suggestion, DH should file now, and hopefully get an agreement before BM finds out you are pregnant - because you are right, if BM is of the unstable sort your pregnancy will ramp up poor behavior on her part. I'm inclined to think that this might be the case because I noticed "I married my DH just this past March" and "Up until recently the arrangement was usually civil". Unfortunately it is not uncommon for some divorced parents to not handle a spouse's remarriage well and use the kid(s) as pawns to express their hurt. It seems a lot of DH's don't want to file for custody or modification because they are worried about rocking the boat or upsetting BM. But if DH does not, not only will this continue but it will get worse, and worse. BM has no right to decide that SS cannot go on vacation with his father any more than your DH can decide what BM is "allowed" to do when SS is with her! DH should approach BM with this as "wanting the ability to make scheduled plans" or some such, if he's happy with the amount of custodial time he has now. Most states have some kind of mediation and if BM and DH can agree that would be fairly inexpensive and painless.

Hi Islander, I understand how hard it can be to let things go, and I'm sorry. When I got married, I wanted to have both parents walk me down the aisle, but didn't because I didn't want my SM to feel uncomfortable. I picked out my mother's dress, which did match the wedding colors, but told my SM what the wedding colors/shades were so that she could match too. My BM and SM sat together in the first row. And no, they do not get along! My SM was included for pictures, and although I would have liked to have pictures of just me and my parents I decided it wouldn't be worth the hassle. I agree with a poster above in that the wedding is about taking your vows. Everything else is just fluff. I tell my girlfriends getting married to expect things to go wrong, do not expect perfection, because all that matters at the end of the day is that you accomplished what you set out to do, marry your love. If uncle so and so gets drunk, if your bridesmaid forgets her dress,etc, none of that really matters in the long run. And you'll have a funny story to tell from it. Why not tell it to yourself that way? Here, let me tell it, I can imagine it from sitting in the back 40! Remember when silly BM made that spectacle and took DH's hand? the look on his face was priceless! I couldn't tell if he would deck her or run like the wind! Thank goodness he keeps his cool so well! My wedding had a lot of drama, and I wish people could have stayed as calm as you did. It can be so hard, but the good thing is that while it only lasts a day the impression you make can last a lifetime.

Love - See? That's what I get for ever listening to a thing she said! LOL! Sheesh! I figured ONE of her lies must be closer to the truth. Guess I figured wrong. LOL! Oh well.....Just remember that as much attention as she wants/needs, you don't want to have THAT kind of attention. And you're better off not having any attention at all than to have that. I know that's a PITA to do, but it's definitely the truth. A friend started dating a married man in March of 07. She found out she was pregnant with his baby in August 07. They weren't using any kind of protection......at all. He didn't have any kids and she already had a 8 y/o son from a previous relationship and had been very adamant that she didn't want any more kids because she had preeclampsia (sp?) with her son. He was still married. He didn't file for divorce until after they found out. His divorce was final in November 08. So then they broke their lease to move in with his mom because she was on bed-rest and only getting 60% of her pay. This was in February 08. Baby born in March 08. He proposed to her in like May 08. They started planning a wedding. Then didn't have enough people to pay for it so decided to go to Vegas instead. No one to foot the entire bill for that so they postponed. Instead of getting married, they rented a house (but only about 80% of it) and got a puppy. I just got an invitation to their reception because they're going to the courthouse on Friday to get hitched. BTW, he hadn't even been divorced a year. OH! And here's a kicker....his ExW's name is the same name as my friend's. How smooth is this dude??? All of that to say that I feel jealousy all the time because I've been waiting oh so patiently for FDH to propose. Every last one of my friends has gotten married and had babies in the time since FDH and I started dating. Hellyeah it stings! And my friend doesn't make it better because they're always trying to one-up us as if beating us to the alter is some great feat. But I don't want it the way they have it. I don't want everyone not thinking it will last.