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roisin_gw

Caught between the Testosterone Twins....

roisin
18 years ago

My DS16 has not been getting along with my DH for quite a while - since my DD left home (new house, getting married) things seem to be getting worse.

My DH is kind, reliable, romantic, loving - but not where my DS is concerned. Then he's the sergeant-major who tries to dictate what should be done and when - nothing seems to be good enough, done quick enough or well enough. High grades in some subjects "don't count" because other subjects aren't so great. I have also caught my DH swearing and name-calling, and then he says he was driven to it by my DS's laziness. My DS is a quiet boy, highly intelligent, interested in politics, law, history, Shakespeare, snowboarding, taught himself to play guitar brilliantly. My DH is also highly intelligent, so it's not that he feels inferior - he was in tears one day because he said he wanted the best for my DS, and just believed that kids have to be taught to work hard and do everything right. All that has resulted is that my DS just has no time for my DH - DS's father died years ago, and it breaks my heart that these two are not getting along as I know they could have a great relationship (they did until my DS was about 12).

A couple of friends don't visit any more because they say that my DH has been too hard on my kids. DH won't go to counselling (we tried, he had the counsellor tearing at her hair - really!), and he won't talk to a minister.

I see my son not wanting to come back to visit once he leaves for college or work.

Does anyone have any ideas? I feel as though I am standing in quicksand.

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