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TOWs granddaughter in wedding?

15 years ago

Was SO surprised to see Camilla's granddaughter in The Royal Wedding today...Camilla and Charles were married in 2005,and she was supposedly TOW....How do some families come to such an accomodating place ? The Royal SSs seem to like her...My SSs havent even come to the point of even wanting to KNOW anyone in my family, after the same length of marriage??? (And I wasnt even TOW)????

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Comments (17)

parent_of_one
15 years ago
William is OK with Camilla but I have read that Harry does not like her and they don't get along. Bear in mind you are talking about public figures, they have to follow protocols, you don't know what is going in their personal lives, they have same issues as everyone else.

TOM was present at SD's wedding and he is not even married to BM. SD told mom she did not want him to attend, but BM said if he does not attend she won't either plus she threw a huge fit why parent_of_one (well I am not TOW and am not trashy) is invited and BF cannot attend. So he attended, and of course acted like an a$$hole.

I don't know why some SKs are not accepting of new additions especially if there was no infidelity involved.
dotz_gw
Original Author
15 years ago
Yes, I figured if anyone could behave it would be The Royals LOL , but dont you think William would have not included the woman who was possibly responsible for the divorce? I ll bet the Spencers were not too happy...You have to wonder how much say he had in his own wedding party, or was it a palace PR decision?
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Point taken, wrychoice, this one does hit home and I'm having a bad day. I think what gets my dander up about hopper2008's posts is what other people have cited (the apparent arrogance and the striking need to prove herself superior, esp. to the former wife & kids), but perhaps I'm taking it more personally because of my situation. The only other thing I really reacted to that other people hadn't already mentioned as irritating is the projection factor. That is, hopper2008 making it out like SD is the one being childish, unreasonable, immature, insecure and manipulative about this situation. Which may very well be the case, but if hopper2008 isn't in some way, at some level, tugging the other end of the rope, then it's a non-issue. If it's a non-issue, then Hopper2008 would simply make sure her husband knows it's okay for him to go to his daughter's wedding without her (and doesn't stand on any principle or misplaced idealism about unity, loyalty or whatever and create a very difficult situation for DH and SD on her wedding day b/c she can't face the reality that she and SD simply don't get along and pushes it at the wrong time & circumstance.) I guess I reacted especially much to the projection aspect because my Dad's wife plays that game of telling herself & other people similar things (i.e. "whatever HE wants to do"; "HE's choosing to do such-and-such"). It's crap, don't buy it if you ever hear this sort of thing. No parent except the lowest form would EVER so quickly and unequivocably "choose", "freely", to leave their kid in the lurch, even if said kid was being a brat. These husband/fathers DO NOT WANT TO TURN THEIR BACKS ON THEIR CHILDREN and they DO NOT do so easily. I mean, unless they are scum, in which case I'd have to ask why anyone would want to be with scum like that. These men (or women, when it's women in these situations) may seem like they are "choosing", but they are BACKED AGAINST THE FRIGGIN' WALL and make these apparent "free choices" under tremendous duress of one sort or the other. For example, I know this because my Dad got me a plane ticket to visit him behind my SM's back (via money order) and always calls me when she isn't around; he called NINE TIMES on and around X-mas ---when she was out--- because he felt so guilty about telling me I couldn't come. Because it wasn't what HE wanted. I know for a fact that SM was telling people "he decided" to not have me there, b/c he was so "disappointed" in me, or whatever the H3LL.... Meanwhile, these "independent decisions" of his always seem to benefit SM, for example HER sister and brother-in-law were there at Christmas in my place, and she got some home improvements done (FOR her not BY her, to be sure). My SM isn't fooling anybody! (Well, I can't say that.... she's not fooling ME and several others ---including my Dad--- but maybe she's fooling somebody somewhere.) In this kind of scenario, if a parent seems to be making a choice to turn their back on their child ---especially on a really important or significant occasion like a wedding that they would otherwise never want to miss--- and their spouse is acting all "my dog ain't in that fight", or more obviously, even GLOATING about the parent's "choice": look closer, ask some more questions. Barring possible reasons such as the most scummy good-for-nothing parent or child on the planet, in most average situations with average people with average issues and flaws, there is more going on than meets the eye. It's more than one person tugging the rope. One way or another, the spouse is also manipulating the situation, or at the very least, is getting a big payoff (emotional, financial, circumstantial, etc.) from just "sitting back" and 'watching" the fight. Saying things in plain English (i.e. "don't go to your daughter's wedding without me or I will be very upset and might divorce you") is only one possible method of getting one's point across. Other methods include: -The Silent Treatment -Sexual Freeze-Out -Generally Being a Stone-Cold B***h Until He Changes the Situation to Your Way -Acting all Hurt and Crying ("Why Doesn't SD Love Me?!?!") to Play the Victim -"Forgetting" to Do Something You Promised (such as get groceries to have food in the house) So He Gets the Hint You're Not Pleased About X situation -"Forgetting" to Give Him His Prescription Medications That You've Made him Dependent On You For So He Gets the Hint... (a favorite tactic of my SM's; actually all of these are) ...and there's probably myriad other sick, twisted ways of controlling a situation that aren't even occuring to me because I'm just not that perverse. (Would have to get in that Stephen King "Misery" headspace to comprehend it more thoroughly.) Admittedly I have some bitterness about my personal stepfamily dynamics (on one side of the family anyways), but apart from any offense it gives anyone, I hope that at least hopper2008 and perhaps anyone else who feels they relate to her will perceive in my words the effect that her apparent attitude may inspire in an SD in that kind of situation. And to just be careful, as kkny said, about the hubris factor. It's humbling to hear it, but hopefully it puts things in perspective b/c it's never a good idea to go around thinking of oneself as being perpetually in a catbird seat. Not with the way our society and relations between men and women tend to go. 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mattie_gt
15 years ago
It might be a bit of a different situation because his mother is no longer living, and can no longer have her feelings hurt, and she is his SM now. In addition, it's not the little girl's fault; she's not to blame and nor would she understand that her (what? step-uncle?) didn't want her in his wedding because of something her grandmother and step-grandfather did.

Prince William seems to have inherited the very best parts out of everyone in that family. Of course I don't know him or his new wife! But they seem to both behave with class and personal dignity.
dotz_gw
Original Author
15 years ago
I would certainly not blame the 3 year old, just seems like an awkward choice of flower girl, but his BM being deceased may make a bit of difference, I m sure the granddaughter would be totally unaware if she wasnt chosen, no need for her to understand and stress out over her being excluded LOL
sweeby
15 years ago
I had the same thought... But upon deeper reflection, I began to think also about how Charles had been in love with Camilla long before his engagement to Diana. That he wanted to marry Camilla but was denied permission to do so -- That he needed to marry someone and produce heirs because that was his duty.

Should he have given up the woman he truly loved because he was forced to marry another? IMO, yeah, probably. And I suspect he tried. But you love who you love... And from what I've heard, Diana would have been a difficult wife for him -- needy, dramatic, naive, easily bored by the endless public appearances. Not to minimize the difficulties of her situation -- married to a man who didn't love or respect her...

Anyway - Just saying that the situation has been extemely difficult for all players for a very long time. And I suspect William is now old enough and mature enough to understand the untenable position his father lived in, and to realize that the beautiful and beloved Diana was not the only victem...
dotz_gw
Original Author
15 years ago
Absolutely agree, Charles has to be admired for sticking to his convictions with his love of Camilla, He didnt go for the eye candy, I suspect a lot of men would put up with the beautiful wife regardless of her behavior. Just surprised William wouldnt cling to his beloved moms memory and find flower girl inappropriate choice.....Writing William now to tell him to send my SS a letter telling him to grow up and accept the beautiful and beloved Dotz as his fathers choice LOL
parent_of_one
15 years ago
I think taking in consideration protocol, he had to have Camilla there, it is just not appropriate to exclude her, plus I agree with mattie his mother is no longer living.

I also think that William and Harry know that their parents marriage did not work out from the very beginning, they were miserable together and they really weren't meant for each other. Perhaps they see their father finally happy and maybe forgave both their father and Camilla.

Also possibly Camilla made their amends to her SSs. She maybe is a good SM for all we know, I actually suspect she is. And i see nothing wrong with a choice of a flower girl.
sylviatexas1
15 years ago
"Charles has to be admired for sticking to his convictions with his love of Camilla, He didnt go for the eye candy"

uh.

no.

He didn't "stick to his convictions";
he married a naive 19-year-old virgin & used her like a broodmare.

Camilla didn't marry him but she didn't leave him alone once he was married to someone else.

What a couple of idealists & role models.

I doubt that many people in William's situation would cut their father or his new family out of their wedding, but in this instance, that father is the heir to the throne of England as well.
sweeby
15 years ago
Like it or not, the queen/crown princess IS a broodmare...
It is her number one job to produce an "heir and a spare".

Offensive, and sad - but nonetheless true.
dotz_gw
Original Author
15 years ago
OK, admire was a poor choice of words, maybe romantic would be a better choice of Charles long held love for Camilla...But I dont think for one minute that Diana was naive, she was royal, and she knew what was expected all her life I m sure, an older man, a suitable match etc...Do you think a pretty girl like her would take a second look at Charles if he was Joe Commoner , broke and really not that handsome? To marry a man and have your future children become King of England? No one forced her into the marriage..I m sure she was attracted to the wealth , power and prestige, who wouldnt be? And I wouldnt exactly call her a broodmare...She loved children, and I m sure she was more thrilled to have them than Charles was.. No, nobody was a role model here,but my original thoughts were strange choice of bridesmaid, not to critize any Royal in particular. ( I loved Diana, thought she was great)
parent_of_one
15 years ago
I personally did not think choice for bridesmaid was wrong, she is just a child
sylviatexas1
15 years ago
So are we talking about Charles's behavior or Diana's?

She was aristocratic, not royal, & she was a naive 19-year-old (don't know if there's actually such a thing as a worldly 19-year-old).

Many if not most women look forward to having children;
it's a reasonable expectation to have of marriage.

Had Charles been a romantic, he'd have married Camilla years ago & told the monarchy to go p!$$ up a rope.

As I said, most people would do just what William did in the interests of harmony or at least tolerance in the family.

He just happened to have the whole world watching, including the protocol advisors of the British monarchy.
dotz_gw
Original Author
15 years ago
S T, No ax to grind here, I just thought a Spencer girl would have been a better choice......
parent_of_one
15 years ago
I just don't think it is reasonable to compare behavior of one's own stepchildren to royalty, they lead public life and must follow protocols.
mattie_gt
15 years ago
We watched The King's Speech this weekend. It was very good and DH and I were talking after about how we wondered if those circumstances affected Elizabeth's perspective on life (King in question being her father). If she grew up watching a father who was determined to do the "right thing" no matter how difficult it was for him personally, no doubt she'd have less patience than others might for someone wanting to put his own personal interests in front of his "royal duties". And I had forgotten that the Duke of Windsor was her uncle - so one might think that she'd have even less sympathy for the "I'm in love with a married woman" thing than most other people.

As for Diana being difficult to deal with - if I found out my newlywed husband was communicating with his mistress while he was on a honeymoon with me (and presumably trying to impregnate me with the heir), well, they've got no idea of what "difficult to deal with" would have been!
dotz_gw
Original Author
15 years ago
PO1, I actually was curious enough to look up who chose Camillas grandaughter, Will and Kate did made their own choices, was wondering if picks were protocol,but apparently Will and Kate were friends with Camillas daughter Laura, who was the 3 yr olds mother..That makes a lot more sense to me as to the choice, their friends daughter rather than in the capacity of the SMs granddaughter..(Sins of the mother not visited upon her children LOL)As to comparing my step situation with The Royal Family, I thought the LOL and I m writing to William would be taken not literally, LOL I m not REALLY going to ask his advice....
sylviatexas1
15 years ago
"As for Diana being difficult to deal with - if I found out my newlywed husband was communicating with his mistress while he was on a honeymoon with me (and presumably trying to impregnate me with the heir), well, they've got no idea of what "difficult to deal with" would have been!"
Amen, Sistah!

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