As a mom, I might be uncomfortable leaving my young kids with a sitter that someone else hired. It might also be upsetting to some children. I don't think it should be 'expected' although I understand a late night party is not a place for young children. It's my opinion that those parents with young kids should utilize your sitter, bring their own or leave the party to take the kids to bed at a reasonable time.. say 9pm. Of course, advising parents of this can be tricky because some may be understanding while others may be offended.

I think DH is right. I think you are wrong in a few places and could set yourself up to regret trying to control everyone and everything. I have never heard of it for New Year's Eve, but I think it is very nice of you to be so thoughtful to provide a sitter for your guests. However, that should be the end of your function in that department. Show them the accommodations as you explained them here, and let them make their own decisions for their own children. Just let them know what is available.

Instruct your sitters not to take the children anywhere in the hotel. This is not your job or their job and actually assigns more responsibility concerning other people's children than you have authority to grant. Hotel rooms have bathrooms and you should provide refreshments (pizza, hot dogs, burgers, chips, whatever) for them in their room(s) so they have no reason to leave the room except with their parent(s). It should only be their own parents taking them into the room(s) and taking them out of the hotel room for their own reasons.

I also agree you cannot force people to utilize your sitters. Some people are more protective than leaving their children with strangers. Even if you trust the sitters, the parents don't necessarily have to. In effect, you are inviting the children to your reception and although it is New Year's Eve, most parents will remain mindful of their children's bedtime. They will either leave them with their own sitters, utilize your sitters, or take their kids home at a decent hour.

If you don't like the thought of how your reception could turn out and want to make sure it is adult only, then don't invite your guests to bring their children by providing sitters. People are accustomed to making their own arrangements on New Year's Eve, so it might be best for you to plan even that aspect of your reception to turn out the way you perceive you want it to be.

stefk18....I'm on your side on this one. I think it is very considerate of you to provide childcare for the kids and if the parents aren't comfortable with it then they can hire a sitter at their home and leave their kids at home. I would not want my reception, on New Year's Eve, to include children in the late hours. I think that them being included in the earlier part of the evening is great and for the parents to expect it to extent into the later hours is insensitive to you and your other other guests that do not have children. New Year's Eve is usually not a child's holiday and the activities provided for them sound great and sounds like something they should enjoy and prefer. I think you have been very thoughtful and if I were coming to your party and bringing my kids I would appreciate you doing this.

I think that if you do not want kids at your reception you need to be very clear about that. Then tell everyone that you are hiring a few sitters to be in the hotel watching kids if they want to utilize them, otherwise they need to have their children leave the reception at ______ time.

I do not think that forcing everyone to use your sitters is a good idea.

How does DH feel about his kids having to leave the reception at a certain time?

When we got married all 4 of our kids stayed the entire time! And we only allowed immediate families children who were about our kids ages at the reception. That way our kids had their cousins to play with, but it did not turn into a kids party.

I think if we had told our kids they had to leave the reception at a certain time they would have been hurt. We thought of our recpetion as more of a family event since we already had kids when getting married.

Ok, here is what we did:

We had a very formal wedding reception and, like you, I did not really want people bringing their children. The only kids I invited were family--obviously, my DD and SS were there (both 6) and my 9 year old cousin, 8 year old cousin and 5 year old cousin. I had no problem with family children being there.

For the invitations--I simply put Mr. and Mrs. John Smith--therefore, it was clear that it was not a family invite, but one only for the couple.

We did have one couple (friends of my dad) call and ask if kids were welcome and my dad just told them that it was a formal event, and the only other children attending were family members.

Now--I personally do not think you can ask or expect people to use your sitters. I would not feel comfortable leaving my DD or SS with a sitter that I personally don't know, no matter how much YOU trust them. That is nothing against you--it's just how I feel as a mom. And not all parents are like that, some are more laidback about those things...

BUT like I said--I don't think you can expect that everyone will feel comfortable doing that.

I would just let people do what they are comfortable doing. If they want to take advantage of the sitters you have, then great. Otherwise, trust that they will be mindful of their children and will probably be getting them home to an early bedtime, anyway.

FYI--all the kids at my reception had a GREAT time and were dancing the night away on the dance floor. People were drinking, having a great time, and the kids totally did not interfere with the adults' good time.

My kids left first at 10 pm--I had a babysitter for them who took them back to the hotel to spend the night. My cousins seemed to leave around 10:30-11 and then the party went on until midnight with no kids.

Also--with our DJ, we not only gave them a playlist, but we also gave them a list of DO-NOT plays--that included the Chicken Dance, YMCA and a few others, I felt the same as you! So that way--even if people request songs you don't want--the DJ won't play them! :)
Have fun!