We got two gifts in total. A vacuum cleaner and a pressure cooker. Both most welcome and the pc is still in use. No ’shower’ and only 8 wedding guests. Just parents, siblings and their spouses. DD got married during covid with the permitted 6 guests but a year later we had a party with 100 guests. They requested no gifts, just donations to two charities. The Italian side of the family found this diffcult to grasp and gave a lot of knickknacks they neither want nor need.

luvmytbear, are you reading the posts people are putting up here for you? If I understand correctly, the Disney World trip was already planned before you decided on a Barbados wedding. Even if it wasn't, it is harder than you think to reschedule, especially for a large group, and more important, I think mammavan makes an excellent point about the perspective of the others. Read it carefully and try to see their point of view. Look how many posters made the observation that (without special circumstances) a destination wedding says "we value a fancy setting more than we value your presence." You can have a destination wedding. For that matter, you can refuse to send thank you notes. You can cut your sister out of your wedding party. You can put "cash please" on the invitations. You can invite the cousin you like but not his brother. You can have a reception with music that everyone but you and your pals hates. You can do whatever you want! It's Your Special Day!!!!! But you can't insist that everyone feel the way you want them to feel about it. Your new family feels excluded -- well, they are. Trying to explain to them that they should prefer to spend their money and vacation time on YOUR idea of a vacation, not theirs, is not going to work. As Talley Sue wisely points out, your family probably feels pretty much the same way about this plan; they are just being better sports and more polite about it. Consider that their disappointment means that it is important to THEM to share your wedding with you -- I doubt you would want them to feel relieved, not disappointed, that they can't come. Your original question was: "Is it wrong to just go with our plans? Or should we try to do something local so that his family won't alienate him? I feel so torn!" Well, although it would solve some problems to have the wedding locally and save Barbados for the honeymoon, it definitely isn't "wrong" to go ahead with your Barbados plans. What would be wrong would be to refuse to accept that some people will feel hurt, to insist that they see it your way, to dismiss their plans for a family Disney World trip, and to blame THEM for making YOU feel guilty. If you feel guilty, maybe it's because you really aren't as comfortable with your choice as you wish you were. I'm sorry this sounds so harsh. Having a destination wedding is not a crime. It's disappointing, but not unforgivable! Your future relationship is what's important, not the wedding. You won't ruin it by going to Barbados, but you might by trying to tell everyone else that their feelings are unimportant and that they are cheap and hypocritical. Just do it and let them get over it. Oh -- and if anyone in the famiy someday has a destination wedding, I don't care if it's on MARS -- GO! :-)

First, do what you want to do and what is right for the personality and style of the Bride and Groom. I like the idea of a champagne toast after the wedding ceremony. Having good directions/maps for the guests would be needed. Offer a list of things to do in the area. Are there any antique shops? With the wedding before 1pm and the reception in the evening, some people may want lunch, give suggestions. Some may want to hike or go on a picnic, where can they get a picnic to go? Have you ever heard of Letterboxing? It would be fun to place a couple letter boxes for your guest to find as they enjoy the area. Some people may just like to relax at the cabins or have a little romance of their own! For my daughter's wedding in Monterey, CA we had a local friend give surfing lessons on the morning of her wedding. More than 70 guests came from out of state, it was much like a family reunion. I also had everyone stay at the same place, they offered a great breakfast included with rooms. I printed a list of guest names and cell phones numbers prior to the wedding. I added room numbers as they checked in so people could get together and visit. Some groups went to the Monterey Aquariam, some went to wineries, most went to the beach. In each room I put a small gift bag with a water bottle and snacks. In Colorado with your Dude Ranch theme a simple bag of trail mix would be great to give to guests. The hotel could pass them out as people check in. Here is a link that might be useful: Letterboxing in North America

Ok, here is what we did: We had a very formal wedding reception and, like you, I did not really want people bringing their children. The only kids I invited were family--obviously, my DD and SS were there (both 6) and my 9 year old cousin, 8 year old cousin and 5 year old cousin. I had no problem with family children being there. For the invitations--I simply put Mr. and Mrs. John Smith--therefore, it was clear that it was not a family invite, but one only for the couple. We did have one couple (friends of my dad) call and ask if kids were welcome and my dad just told them that it was a formal event, and the only other children attending were family members. Now--I personally do not think you can ask or expect people to use your sitters. I would not feel comfortable leaving my DD or SS with a sitter that I personally don't know, no matter how much YOU trust them. That is nothing against you--it's just how I feel as a mom. And not all parents are like that, some are more laidback about those things... BUT like I said--I don't think you can expect that everyone will feel comfortable doing that. I would just let people do what they are comfortable doing. If they want to take advantage of the sitters you have, then great. Otherwise, trust that they will be mindful of their children and will probably be getting them home to an early bedtime, anyway. FYI--all the kids at my reception had a GREAT time and were dancing the night away on the dance floor. People were drinking, having a great time, and the kids totally did not interfere with the adults' good time. My kids left first at 10 pm--I had a babysitter for them who took them back to the hotel to spend the night. My cousins seemed to leave around 10:30-11 and then the party went on until midnight with no kids. Also--with our DJ, we not only gave them a playlist, but we also gave them a list of DO-NOT plays--that included the Chicken Dance, YMCA and a few others, I felt the same as you! So that way--even if people request songs you don't want--the DJ won't play them! :) Have fun!