Italian Beef Sandwiches. Very juicy, (read sloppy!) but so easy and delish. It's cheap, too, if you buy chuck roasts on sale. You braise the beef with garlic and onions, bay leaves, salt and pepper for several hours until the meat shreds, serve it hot with all its juices on Italian rolls or other hearty rolls. I'll be more precise with the recipe if you'd like, but that's about it. I guarantee a hit!

Well, but I don't think it's that simple -- otherwise, the OP wouldn't be asking. Her family doesn't just "not wish to drink." They apparently think drinking is objectionable, possibly immoral or sinful -- so much that she hides the fact that she now drinks occasionally from them. For all we know, they DON'T go to parties where alcohol is served. And this wouldn't just be some outsiders' party or restaurant they are at where others are drinking. This is their own child's wedding. If there are uneasy feelings about differences between their family's values and their own, why bring that to the fore at the wedding itself? I think the OP is being considerate. And I do think that while it is also nice of her to be considerate of her new family's preference to have alcohol at celebrations, that preference just doesn't compare to how much it means to her family. If the question were something like some time after they are married, her husband's family has another wedding or party or something and invites her parents, and she wanted to know if she could ask them not to have alcohol, my answer would be different. It's not like their religious or moral beliefs must always trump other people's preferences. But in the case of their own child's wedding, I think that the "lowest common denominator" of a dry reception is the best choice, and having a brunch rather than an evening dinner dance solves the problem beautifully. People who keep kosher don't care what other people eat. But if their own child had a non-kosher wedding reception -- especially when it would be so easy to have a kosher one, or at least fish, dairy, or vegetarian -- I could see how they would feel like it was not just a slap in the face to them, but a public declaration of their child's rejection of their values. How much more so if it were a pig roast? Or a mixed grill BBQ for Buddhist vegetarians? Now, of course the OP can make her own choice about alcohol. But she obviously isn't even ready to tell her parents privately about that choice, so I doubt she wants to use her wedding to make that disclosure. It's very easy to say "What others do is not their business" and the like. But that focuses only on her right to make her own choices, which isn't her concern. The OP didn't ask how to stand her ground and have alcohol at the reception. Rather, she is thinking about how to be considerate and avoid "offending anyone, or making anyone unhappy/uncomfortable." She asked for suggestions for a compromise that would accomplish that, and she got them: have a brunch, or, if it would be more acceptable to her family, have alcohol, but just a toast or punch or something. What really concerns me here is that she and her fiance were considering having separate receptions. I don't care WHAT reason there would be for that, I think it would be much better even to have NO reception than separate ones.

Bringing a gift to a wedding reception is tacky....you did the right thing by sending the gift on ahead. A wedding gift is properly either sent to the bride before the wedding or to their home after the wedding. Go to the party and have fun! If everyone invited to a wedding reception brought a gift it would present a major logistical problem! When my daughter was married, we thought that some would bring gifts to the reception but didn't plan on them bringing gifts to the church....so hurriedly someone had to be recruited to get the gifts from the church to our house because the gift people at the reception were already doing their thing by labelling every gift as it was placed on the table. You did the right thing....don't take anything but your good wishes to the recption. Lidna C

Ok, here is what we did: We had a very formal wedding reception and, like you, I did not really want people bringing their children. The only kids I invited were family--obviously, my DD and SS were there (both 6) and my 9 year old cousin, 8 year old cousin and 5 year old cousin. I had no problem with family children being there. For the invitations--I simply put Mr. and Mrs. John Smith--therefore, it was clear that it was not a family invite, but one only for the couple. We did have one couple (friends of my dad) call and ask if kids were welcome and my dad just told them that it was a formal event, and the only other children attending were family members. Now--I personally do not think you can ask or expect people to use your sitters. I would not feel comfortable leaving my DD or SS with a sitter that I personally don't know, no matter how much YOU trust them. That is nothing against you--it's just how I feel as a mom. And not all parents are like that, some are more laidback about those things... BUT like I said--I don't think you can expect that everyone will feel comfortable doing that. I would just let people do what they are comfortable doing. If they want to take advantage of the sitters you have, then great. Otherwise, trust that they will be mindful of their children and will probably be getting them home to an early bedtime, anyway. FYI--all the kids at my reception had a GREAT time and were dancing the night away on the dance floor. People were drinking, having a great time, and the kids totally did not interfere with the adults' good time. My kids left first at 10 pm--I had a babysitter for them who took them back to the hotel to spend the night. My cousins seemed to leave around 10:30-11 and then the party went on until midnight with no kids. Also--with our DJ, we not only gave them a playlist, but we also gave them a list of DO-NOT plays--that included the Chicken Dance, YMCA and a few others, I felt the same as you! So that way--even if people request songs you don't want--the DJ won't play them! :) Have fun!