Please take the self righteous act some where's else. I was wondering if in the "for TOS" post at anytime you would jump in. You didn't. TOS accused me of being a liar and the TOW which I am niether. She accused my husband of being a bad father for leaving the wife who is an addict and a mental basket case and not taking the kids with him. He couldn't....it is STILL going through courts. He has them FINALLY but it still is not fully legal. She surrendered them herself due to "not being able to handle it." TOS actually thought he should of stayed in the house with the crazy ex AND her new boyfriend untill the custody papers where signed. He'd still be living there today and would of probably of killed his ex by now. Not good for the kids. With all the nasty, underhanded and heartless judgements she passed on me....there was not a peep from you. Had it been the other way around...you would of been all over it. What is your deal. If you want to call folks out for being negative and nasty to each other and be taken seriously.....at least do it for everyone and not just the few that ironically enough are the ones constantly stirring up the pot. Are you an alter ego created by TOS or KKNY?

Hi all, I'm new. I just want to say that many of the issues you mention really aren't YOUR issues. Things like her fraudulant lawsuits for example. I have an ex who's always frauding someone...but it's not my problem. The system will catch up and when it does, they'll have to pay somehow. You need to focus on dealing with the children when they're in your care, and disregard what they do in her care, unless they're in danger. You seem to have stopped the spanking but maybe you should make their Dad handle all the discipline. You could even try a "wait until your father gets home" stance when they are in your care and your husband is away. Once you stop engaging with them, they will stop engaging with you. You've only been married two years, so you have a long road ahead. Your nit-picky issues are just that, little nit-picky issues. I'd blow them off and laugh it off as a jealous bio-mom...those do exists sometimes. You know YOU and those around you know YOU...don't waste your time focusing on what she says or does. Keep documenting everything and always anticipate the worst, but hope for the best. If the relationship with the girls is broken, I'd really try mending it. If you're interested in some ways, let me know, maybe we can get creative. If you plan to stay married, you really need to get along with his kids, they don't go away after they turn 18, only the CS.

Boy, some people have a lot of time on their hands. No, actually I said we were together for 25 years, unless there is a typo somewhere. We were married for over 20 years. I have not been divorced for 9 years - I said he left about 9 years ago. The divorce process takes a long time in my state when you have children. I met my H when I was 20. He is older than I, he had married quite young, and his divorce had been final for a couple of years. "Did you "consult" your ex when it was time to take your children off the breast? or you just did it? Of course I consulted him. And he wasn't my exH then. Did you consult ex when it was time to decide if your menstruating daughters should use a pad or tampon? That's their decision, not mine or his. Did you ask him if it was ok to give your children any form of birth control? the pill, condoms? or you just did it because it needed to be done?" That would be their decision as well. They weren't allowed to date when they were young teens, too young to get to a doctor on their own. "Promoted breast feeding, read stories every night, was an active participant in their "young years", went to all their games, took them to drs. appts., whatever they needed he was right there," Yep, pretty much - except he didn't go to "all" their games, especially since the kids were not really into sports. I don't care how you raise your own children. Assuming we are not talking about pedophiles or parents who beat their children, parents get to decide how to raise their own children, in consultation with each other. It is no one else's business - not stepparents, teachers, doctors, social workers, in-laws, or the neighbor down the street. Even if a mother or father is not a great parent, they are still almost always the best parent for THEIR child.

I wasn't asking if the step parent should decide how to treat the biological parent. I was asking you if you think, for example, your ex husband (since you keep saying how little he see's his children) should have the same level of input as if he were involved with his children, seeing them on a regular basis? Do you think he has the right to call you up out of the blue and tell you what to do? Forget that a step parent is even involved. I can tell you that I raised my two younger children without their biological father's coming around and if I got a phone call and was told that I should be doing things a different way, just because they share DNA, I'd tell 'em to take a flying leap. It takes more than the contribution of egg or sperm to make a parent. At least in my book. You can have your own view on that, but then again, you said you would take back your ex even though he's chosen his wife's money over his kids. That must be okay in your book.