I am for real. I dont really know anything about the childs mom. To me you are frustated and angry, and it seems to be coming down to you resent the mom, and want to take it out on the children.

you read all my posts and pick apart most of them ... so please tell me oh wise one..... why should I do more for my SC than their own mother does?

Of course I resent mom ....she's a loon.

Why not she does?

The answer is you can not control her actions. If you want to take it out on children I think that says more about you than it does about anyone else. According to you, she is a loon or negligent. You are being deliberate in your (hopefully just thoughts) towards SC, while at times holding yourself as perfect SM. You have held yourself out relatively recently as SAHM, which to me means you should be sharing responsibilities with Dad. These are his responsbilities also.

I can see you are unhappy and frustated. Taking it out on SCs is not the answer.

Answer some of my questions ....

Do you believe she is a better person for walking away from her children?? Guess thats my answer I should just walk away like she did.

I will lower myself to their BM's level and be just as useless as she is ....

you and she are two peas in pod both loons. good day.

::clicks:: ignore all posts by KKNY ::clicks::

cawfecup: Do not take KKNY's words to heart, I don't! She will always side with biomoms. Good thing she does not work for child services :) Anyways, it is fine to have thoughts of resentment. We are all human! She often complains about her x's gf and resents her (does that mean that she is going to act on those thoughts?) And the comment about how your dh should be sharing the responsibilities....since your a sahm and with the kids most of the time it would be pretty hard to "share" the responsibilities!

Why would it be hard for the father to share the responsibilities? Most fathers do, whether the mother is a SAHM or not.

She just likes to pick on what she can ... won't answer the questions or give any suggestions on how to fix the problem other than its my problem and I am the problem.... because I am a SAHSM.... but I am NOT THE MOM (as many of us are told) ... why should I do it all if the MOM is unwilling to do any of it...

As a SM we are supposed to do more for the children than their own parents are willing to do .... because we are the intruder in their family so we have to bend over backwards for them and take everything they dish out with out any regards to our feelings.

.....Lily this does not apply to your situation or any adult SC's situation that's a different ballgame.

Its just silly .... doesn't matter what the BM does SM is wrong.... should not have married a man with children.

So I guess if I worked I wouldn't have to share any responsiblilities for the children .... because parents who work do not... its all put on the sahm. (how stupid is that)

TOS ...not according to KKNY .... because I am a SAHSM I should be catering to the children. Doing more for them than their parents do.

I didn't mind running all over town the other day to pick up kids.... but I did mind when I got to him and he had already called someone else ... why call me if you were already calling someone else why not call me back and say so and so is coming to get me. No respect is the answer didn't care that I was running around it was all about him.

OH I know a "real" mom or dad wouldn't get mad if they ran all over picking up kids and you get to next in line and he had another ride .... A real parent would say "Wow, Johnny you are so resourceful finding your own ride I am so proud of you". A real parent would not say ... why did you call so and so for a ride after you had already called me and why didn't you call me back when you found another ride? but because I am not the "real" parent I should have just been mute and driven off. I do not have a "right" to correct anyone other than my own children.

If you saw a child running into the street you wouldn't say... Johnny watch out ... johnny get out of the road ... or run after johnny ... you would just sit back and say not my kid I cannot correct him. Oh well if he gets hit by a car ... not my kid??

In my mind if I am caring for your child more than you are I have a right to correct them if they are wrong and to teach them right from wrong. There is a way of doing things in life and they need to learn them from someone.

For every action there is a reaction.... for every rule there is a consequence good or bad. Children need to learn rules and consequences... good and bad.

Of course people get angry -- but when you talk about wanting to make the child's life miserable because you hate their mother -- I think that goes too far.

As to fixing the problem, I am told there is no way one can force a NCP to spend time with a child. Accept it. I assume you knew the dad had children when you married him, and it appears you knew the situation was difficult.