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stepdaughter won't stop trying to ruin my marriage

9 years ago

I have been with my husband for seven years now, and married to him for 3.5 years. Most of that time his daughter (now 16 years old) has hated me, been jealous of me, tried to sabotage our relationship, lied about me, been manipulative with me and my husband, and been really really mean to my daughter (now 8 years old). She tells my husband that I do things like scream at her and tell her she is stupid, which I have never done. I have gone out of my way to be good to her, and to help her. She consistently does things to hurt me, and when I bring it up with my husband, he gets mad at me. He says "all teenagers are like that" and "it is perfectly normal". I have gone to counseling by myself and with my husband. My stepdaughter is also in counseling, but the counselor says that she just needs time to fix her relationship with her dad. The behavior is getting worse. I don't know how much more I can take. I am so sad, because my daughter knows that I am sad and tells me she wants to leave, but this is the only family she knows. I love my husband, but he does not see that he always takes her side. He tells me he "does not want to be put in the middle", and that I should go talk to my stepdaughter. I have asked her A LOT to stop lying. But the more she sees that her behavior upsets me, the more she does it. I am also doing EMDR therapy to help me forgive them, but something new happens every day that I need to forgive again. Do I stay in this situation, knowing that she will continue to try to make me miserable? It has been 7 years now.

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