Well said! Some people never do mentally grow up. They stay in high school, spotlighting all the mistakes others have made in their life. And for what reason, to make all their own personal mistakes seem to be not so bad. How childish! Mistakes in life are inevitable! We all make them and we all will continue to make them until the day we die. Mistakes are a good and healthy thing in life. It allows us to learn and grow as an individual and enables us to become better and empathetic people. So to judge someone based on "their past" mistakes shows you yourself have not learned enough from your own! Or maybe those people, like in high school, have not come to truely love themselves enough yet and still take pleasure in the pain of others!!

Be nice people! Everyone has a different life story and no one should be judged because of theirs.

Kathline, the only line in your post I don't necessarily agree with is:

"If your feelings get hurt by what perfect strangers say , maybe a forum isnt the best place for you."

People come to a forum like this for many reasons, but one of them is they might be in crisis. They want helpful advice and support. Not insults and low blows. We all have our point of view and want to be right. But, what is right for one person may not be right for the next. Maybe it shouldn't matter what a perfect stranger says, I didn't run from my computer in tears. But obviously it refreshed an old wound for me and caused me to relive those feelings. It doesn't matter if a stranger said it. Should every person that has ever suffered through something terrible stay away from a public place so a perfect stranger won't inflict their hateful words on them, or should we as perfect strangers reserve our use of hateful words and direct them at people we know, if we are going to be hateful? See, I don't think in the real world, anyone would have the courage to say to another person, some of the things said here. It's a pity that so many nice people have come and left this forum because they are treated so badly and there is so much hostility.

But, your post is very true and I hope everyone that reads it feels the same way... except that one line. Our feelings are what make us human and can't or shouldn't be turned off. There's a difference between hurt feelings when someone personally attacks you versus disagreeing on views. I don't get my feelings hurt a bit if someone disagrees with me.

Geez, this is stupid.

First of all, this forum is for stepfamilies. I don't see a disclaimer anywhere saying who should and shouldn't post. It doesn't say only for stepparents. I am a stepdaughter and a BM with a child who is part of a stepfamily. I've posted problems on both sides of my issues concerning stepfamilies and have gotten very good advice that I wouldn't get on a single mom forum or that people on a single mom forum would necessarily understand.

I do think that people shouldn't post problems if they are going to get very offended. You are going to get all types of responses on a forum like this. The fact of the matter is, we are not in each others living rooms. This is the internet and this forum is not moderated. This happens everywhere. Additionally, if the problem is so severe, the poster should be seeking professional advice rather than anonymous advice over the internet.

I agree the personal attacks are too much, but I think *everyone* needs to look at themselves to see if they are contributing. Not one side of the equation.

Also,