If you haven't even tried Schultz's 3 in 1, how do you know it doesn't work??? Doing nothing will not help your plants. When you have mites, you must act quickly before they multiply and completely destroy your plants. Mites are insects. Heat treating is NOT the prescribed method for eradicating insects. Without the proper equipment, you stand a chance of losing your bulbs to this method, which is not the correct method for insect control, in the first place. Since mites WILL respond to a chemical eradication, I would definitely use a spray to kill the adults, repeat the process to kill what hatches in the interim, and also use a systemic for future prevention. If Schultz isn't a brand name sold in your area, then go to your local garden center and find a brand of insecticide that eliminates mites. ANY small insect will respond to a decent treatment with a proper insecticide, including mites, scale, mealy bugs, thrips, white fly, etc... and as you spray, IT WILL SEEP DOWN BETWEEN THE LAYERS of the bulb and help to kill anything hiding. It will kill any bugs on the leaves, the scapes, the bulb, between the layers, and the soil surface. A repeated application will kill anything left behind. The longer you wait, the more problems you will have! What, exactly, are you waiting for? You told us about this issue quite a while ago... and we answered your question. We gave you options, we told you what we use for the same problem... and these are tried and true methods! And I can tell you, without a doubt in my mind, that Schultz's 3 in 1 spray absolutely DOES work! How do I know? Because I have eradicated several different mite and insect issues using it, so I know it works. If you don't want to use that brand, choose another one. It doesn't really matter... what matters, is that the chemical you choose should be rated to kill mites. Read the labels. I would not blame seed pod loss on mites so quickly... my thought is that since you haven't done anything yet, the issue either isn't that bad, or you're not telling us the whole story... in which case, the pod loss more likely a genetic issue. Seed pods stop growing and abort all the time, for no apparent reason. It's very simple, Phil... if you don't trust our judgment, then go to your nearest garden center or greenhouse and ask them what they would recommend for eradicating mites on indoor plants. The longer you wait, the more problems you will have. We have helped you as much as we possibly can... the rest is up to you. You have to choose to give a spray a try, or choose to ask a professional in your area. I do hope you take our advice... or find someone else that can help you... good luck with your plants... and good luck with your brother!

Not one of us is capable of telling another when "it's OK" to throw in the towel and say, "I've had enough". Reaching that conclusion is something everyone in this group has to do for themselves, and not one of us will arrive at the decision "easily". Mum has been with me for just over 2 years now. And I'm wondering if it is ever going to end for me and the helpmeet. I am not a "caregiver", either. But she's my mother and she's not so far gone that her needs cannot be met by me, the helpmeet, and my brother. It's plenty "inconvenient", but we've accomodated elderly pets this much... . She's able to walk with her cane, she reads, enjoys the (real) cats, and maintains her sense of humor even if she forgets a lot of things. Here's what's permitted me to keep my nose above the water: 1.) Mum operates on MY schedule. I work full time, as does the helpmeet. Mum has to get up with us and she goes to bed when we do. I have to get her up every morning and help her "get on course"... she unhooks herself from the night urostomy jug, gets washed up and dressed. We make her bed together and then I clean and disinfect the jug. Then she comes up and has breakfast and her pills. Twice weekly I change the urostomy appliance for her because she is no longer able to do it for herself. 2.) I hired a woman to come in 3 times/wk. to bathe her and help her select her clothing. This Mum's special time. 3.) I schedule doctors' app'ts. at MY pleasure and my convenience. We see doctors I like. If I don't like them or get a good "vibe" we go to someone else. I'm Mum's advocate and if I don't like the way a doctor relates to her, I speak up on her behalf. (I think her new doctor is great; he's YOUNG, dialled into the importance of diet and exercise, and keeping medications to a MINIMUM). 4.) Insisting my brother take her for 2-3 wks. at a shot to give us a break. It's not the day to day "chores" that wear you down, it's the MONOTONY of your days. Water will wear stone smooth given enough time... look what it did to the Grand Canyon... I won't lie to you, I want my "old" life back! I'm sick of an existence that revolves around pills, pee, and water. But this is the hand I accepted and it's the one I'm playing. It's not time to "fold", yet. When it is, I will do so. And will suffer all the guilt pangs and regrets you have now. You'll make a good choice; don't be afraid to say, "enough". Putting yourself first on the list is not a "bad" thing... "hair shirts" have been out of fashion since about the 1300s... you know? Life is for the living. ;)

Of course I don't want to hurt her, I love her. She has told me that her mom does not like it that she calls me mom (her mom also sent me an e-mail explaining to me that she is SDs' mom, NOT me) I feel like SD is torn between being loyal to her mom and not hurting me. Because of the loyalty to her mom (and I understand and accept that)I end up getting hurt and she ends ups feeling "bad". She doesn't need that kind of pressure, she goes through enough with the guilt trips her mom puts on her. I need to find a way to be a good role model for her and show her I love her without getting so involved. I don't think her mom is a good role model for her. SD (who is only 14) has told me about her mother discussing the importance of penis size with her (SHOCKING!)she has also told me that her mom acts inappropriate around men and just "wants to go to bed with them" Oh there's more, I just don't want to get into it. But now you can see that she needs someone to talk to. It's very difficult because I just want to tell her that her mom is a horrible person and she should not model herself after her in any way, but of course I can't say that. It would make SD feel awful. Anyway, I think I'm getting off the subject here. I take the brunt and get the disrespect because I am the stepmom. When I think of the word mom, respect, love and kindness come to mind, guilt and disrespect do not. It may sound like I'm being selfish, or making a mountain out of a molehill, but it just bothers me. Thank you all again for your advise.

The title of your post says âÂÂhis children donâÂÂt come over so he wants mine out of the pictureâÂÂ, but I just donâÂÂt see anything in your post that supports this statement. I donâÂÂt think just because your DHâÂÂs children donâÂÂt want to see him that that is making your DH want your children âÂÂout of the picture.â I donâÂÂt see how the two issues are related. Your son is an adult. The only reason an adult child should still be living with their parents is due to financial hardship. And that situation should be temporary, not an indefinite amount of time. Just based on what information you gave, I donâÂÂt see how your husband is trying to divide you from your children. You feel your DH is trying to tear you apart from your children, but could it be your DHâÂÂs issue is that your grown son is still living in the home? And what does DH's ex affair have to do with anything? Have you sat down with DH and told him your concerns?