My SD is in 3rd grade. I can understand taking off points for no date/ incomplete name, but you are right, my SD has about 30 minutes of homework each night. Well, she brings home a weekly packet that she could do easily in an hour or two. Then, she has nightly math page that takes her 10-15 minutes to get done.

It sounds like the teacher may be new and/or overwhelmed. (or just disorganized) Is it possible for you to volunteer in the classroom one day a week, so you can see what's being done? I think 3rd grade is one of the hardest because it's a transitional time, going from being a 'little' kid to one of the 'big' kids.

To avoid a conflict, I would focus on the problem, not the teacher's behavior. Using an "I" statement would probably help. (ie. I feel that DS isn't doing well this year because he seems to be overwhelmed by the amount of homework every night.) Then, offer a solution or ask her what she thinks would be a good solution. If she isn't receptive to hearing the problem or doesn't offer a reasonable solution, then I would have a talk with the principal. Her goal should be to help every child succeed, not criticize and blame the child for failing.

Wow! I have a fifth grader that doesn't have that much homework! With a teacher like this you may not get much out of talking to her directly, if other parents are experiencing the same issues I would suggest you all speak to the principal. Don't lesson plans and assignments need principal approval?

I would just be honest with the teacher about how you feel, I wouldn't worry about coming off as a 'know it all because you were a teacher', your experience does count for something, and even a non-educator can see a problem here.

Studies have shown that homework for kids in elementary and middle school is not helpful, and causes children to dislike school.

I have seen studies like this before, but there was an article of a few days ago in the Toronto paper regarding homework. Here is the link: http://www.thestar.com/article/302001

Maybe you can discuss this with her and see if she will lighten up. The worst thing for kids is to be overwhelmed and end up hating school. Its unrealistic to expect an 8 year old to put in a full day at school and then hours of work at night. Most adults would burn out with that pace...children deserve better.

all of my kids have about an hour of homework each day...but thirty minutes of that is read for thirty minutes. So, I would say that he probably has way to much homework if he is diligently working straight through the night with it. I would probably suggest an agenda book that you both sign each day/night and that she writes the grades in there. That way you are always on top of it and can pin point a problem easier. It may very well be something like on the days that the work has been in the folder all week that maybe he didnt have to do them all at one time and maybe he misunderstood.

I would definately sit down with the teacher... educator or not and let her know that I am concerned and its more than just the homework... what is making him go from liking school and math and spelling to "I am not good with anything" If the teacher is not responsive to you make an appointment that day with the principal.

We had a similar problem last year with a difficult teacher for my sons second grade. He really began to hate school but after working with him and especially right now (since he has gotten lazy and his grades have started to fall) i realized that that teacher may have been a b**** but she got him where he needed to be. At the beginning of his 2nd grade school year he was testing kindergarten level even though in other years he never had a problem. We realized that his carisma and loveableness had softened his earlier teachers and they let him skate by. There are still some things that I didnt agree with with that teacher but at least she got the job done ...at the end of the year he was above grade level

I agree that sounds like an overload of homework for the age level. What are they covering during the school day if they have so much to bring home . . . even my 7th grader rarely has that much homework!

More important then the amount of homework though, IMO, is the loss of enjoyment of school. Not that any kid likes homework, but if they aren't feeling good about their school work and look at it with a negative light then there is more to worry abou then how long he has to study. To me it appears that the teacher focuses only on the negative and not any positives - dirty desk is a good example. What does that have to do with a math test?!? I'm not the type to only use positive statements and not point out negatives as I feel that gives kids the wrong idea about the real world, but your son is still at an age where the positives need to outweigh the negatives to keep him encouraged and excited to learn. Once you put the spark of learning out it is very hard to get it back.

When talking to her I would focus more on that - the loss of enjoyment of school and why she thinks that could be happening. If she wants to blame it all on your son's poor behavior, dirty desk or whatever I would trot directly to the principal for a chat.

I do think volunteering would be a great option if possible for you. I am in my son's class once a week and it helps me keep an eye on how he does, how his teacher does and how he relates to other kids. I might suggest just stopping in a few times too when you aren't expected to check in.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

is that a magnet or a gifted program? Sounds like awful amount of work daily. and what's up with work on snow day? give kids a break!

Thanks for all your advice! I was so frustrated about this! The teacher contacted me and said we can meet tomorrow afterschool. I am going to approach it with her as "my son does not like school anymore and thinks he is not good at anything in school, what can we do to change this?" Then I will also bring up the large quantity of homework and his poor grades. Also, I am going to ask if it is possible for me to come volunteer in the class sometimes. I know my son would love it and I would like to see how he is in class because I know that many times kids act different in class than at home!

Wish me luck!

Oh ya, and finedreams this is not a magnet school. Just a regular public school with a teacher who has been teaching a really long time.

It is ALWAYS possible for you to volunteer - if she tries to dissuade you in any way don't stand for it!!

Good luck -- this must be heartwrenching. I am hoping there is a disconnect here. Is your child really studying, or just sitting in a room, staring at a book he doesnt understand? If the teacher says the homework should not take that long, then I think you are going to have to ask the school to test the child.

That is far too much homework for a third grader. On a number of occasions when my kids were given excessive homework, I just told them to stop, and I wrote a note to the teacher saying that they had worked for x minutes on something, that I thought that was sufficient time to spend on it, and I told them to stop. So far no teacher has ever complained.

kkny,

I do not think he needs testing. He is really sitting at the table doing work, there is just so much of it! He has always done fine on state tests and all grade level assessments.

Tos,

I had thought of telling the teacher tomorrow that I feel he should have no more than 30-40 minutes of homework per night. If she does not agree I was planning on telling her that is all I am letting him do, so she will have to grade him on what he does. If needed I would go to the principal. I think she is one of those "old time" teachers that think drill and kill is they key to success, but unfortunately she is just burning out a 3rd grader.

Thanks for all your advice!

Do you live in FL? Brittani had alot of homework too. We would do about 2 hours a night, every night. We would do her vocab words, then have to write 20 sentences, then do comprehensive reading & do math after that. I have a friend who is a 4th grade teacher. I'll ask her tomorrow why teachers expect children to do so much. Maybe ask that of your sons teacher too. Are they preparing for the state test? I know that was a major stressor for us. I was trying to prepare Brittani for that FCAT & now instead of spending all that time on multiplication...I wish I would have spent it playing house with her. Good luck & volunteering is a great idea if you are available to do that. I volunteered at Brittani's school. I was in Brittani's class & she thought that was special. I feel sorry for your son. I hope you get things worked out w/ his teacher. I don't want him to be discouraged.

I know this is late, but have you spoken to other parents???

kkny,

I did talk to another parent of one of his friends, that is what got me even more upset. I thought that my son was just exaggerating things that happen in class until I spoke to his friends mother. She asked me what I thought of their teacher and I mentioned all the homework and my sons feelings on his teacher. She said her son felt the same way and her other child in the district never had this much work in 3rd grade. She said the teacher has been very inconsistant in her comments on her son. Her son said the teacher is really mean, like my son had said. They said she tells kids they did a "bad job" and yells a lot! My son told me last night that after his last reportcard the teacher called him to her desk and said "so was your mom proud of your grades"? And she has been keeping him in from recess to do work without telling me! He also said that kids tease others really badly and then the teasers tell on the kids they teased for saying comments back and get them in trouble. My son said the person who tells first stays out of trouble! He did get sent to the principals office once becasue a kid called him a retard and my son called him an idiot. My son said the other kid did not get in trouble! This is what prompted me to meet with the teacher.

I have always found it most helpful meeting with a teacher and one year I asked the vice principal to attend those meetings after I wasn;t getting anwyhere- things turned around quite nicely....

I met with his teacher last week. All in all it went well. I let her know I felt he had too much homework, and that I thought for his age 30 min a night was sufficient. She said that she did not think the work she was sending home took much longer than that. The next day my son had minimal homework! I got his progress reports the next day and his grades were better than they had been. Not sure what changed, but I will welcome the change! I think that with me coming in and talking to her it made her not admit any wrong to me, but maybe made her realize her mistakes and correct them!

I talked to her about the bullying issues my son has seen and experienced there, she said she would keep and extra eye on the kids and warn lunch supervisors. Unfortunately the same child did bother my son on Friday, saying nasty things to him in gym class. Then at the end of the day the child kicked my son. My son said he told classroom teacher about the kid being mean in gym class and she said to tell the gym teacher Monday. He did not get a chance to tell her about he kick since it happened at the end of the day. I called the principal and left her a voicemail after my son told me. I am going to try to meet with her. The school has a policy about talking meanly to eachother, if my son was to say something nasty back to the child he could get in trouble as well-so he has been good about walking away and ignoring the child. But it bothers my son that it keeps happening, and he says this kid teases lots of kids.

Anyways, thanks for all your advice!