I typed in "can't stand my stepson" and found all these postings. I too can't stand my SS. He is 11 yrs old, an only child and can do no wrong in his fathers eyes. I have 3 children of my own ages 5,9,12 (2 girls and 1 boy). I have been with my BF now for 2 years. When I came into the relationship my SS was sleeping in the same bed with his dad. He was 9 yrs old at the time. He is very spoiled(4wheelers,dirtbike, snowmobile and so on). His mother is in the picture and she has him everyother weekend and a few nites a week. Here is the problem....My SS is very jealous of me and my children. He lays on his dads lap and hugs and kisses him on the lips all the time. It is no exageration he does this all the time. It makes me and my kids uncomfortable. My SS is a bigger boy and he weighs about 165ibs. My BF allows this. My SS is also very mean to my children when my BF is not around. He is very sneaky and manipulative and my BF does not see this. I have tried so many times and many different ways to approach and talk about this to my BF but he gets so so so defensive and tells me that this isn't going to work and he chooses his son over me and my kids and I need to go and move out. So now I feel I can't talk to him so I hold everything inside and so do my kids. I have a fair amount of resentment towards my BF and my SS. Im angry and frustrated. My son is a year and half older than my SS and he is so frustrated with him. My son is outgoing. He is in all the sports and is one of the star players. He is also an honor roll student if not high honor. My BF came down on me so hard a few weeks ago saying that his son is coming to him complaining that my son gets to go skiing every weekend and do stuff for all his sports and its not fair. He told me that since me and my F____ng kids moved in his son has taken backseat. This killed me. Im so hurt. My son tried to help teach my SS how to ski and even snowboard but he didn't like it. He gave up very quickly. My son does go skiing most every weekend because it is good exercise, he likes it, and he is not in front of the tv, ipod or laptop. My son too is a bigger boy like my SS. When my son does all these things, i take my girls to the movies, go sliding, let them have a friend over and so on. I also do the same for my SS. My SS is so manipulative also. When its time for him to visit his mom and be with her, he cries to his dad and says he doesn't want to go so my BF lets him stay home. We have it set up so that all the kids go visit with their other parents on the same weekend so we have every other weekend to ourselves. We agreed that we needed this time to be togethter to make this blended family thing work. My SS will go in the bathroom and secretly call his dad and ask to come home from his moms. And most of the time he lets him. My children have a great relationship with their dad and so do I. I'm just so frustrated. He never says no to him. When my SS calls he asks what we are doing and my BF won't tell him the truth because he doesn't want to upset him so he lies to him and just tells him we are home doing nothing. I feel like a nothing. Im so mad and angry. Even my BF's friends don't like the way my SS treats and has treated their kids. They complain to me all the time and no one dares to say a thing to my BF. What do I do? I love my BF and have a fair amount of like for my SS. My children do love my BF and can do without the SS. I'm fed up and need a little advice. Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling so negative about my SS. I get a lot of anxienty around him and Im trying to help my kids too. I tell them to ignore him and point out that someday things will change. I believe very much that my BF's and SS relationship is a little unhealthy. My BF is treating him like a baby and not letting him grow up. I feel he is so needy of his son as his son is so needy of his dad. I always try to take my kids and leave them alone to be together because it was expressed to me several times by my BF that he wants a fair amount of time with his son alone. When I do leave and give them this time, I am treated poorly when i return. I just don't know. Please I will take some advice.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to Silversword and lamom. You get what I am saying. I was not trying to "goat" anyone into anything or stir up the pot. I really was posting my deep thoughts, kind of like a journal to myself while at the same time trying to explain the situation. The reason I wrote the stuff about the BM being proud of being 'white trash' was because I was trying to explain about what I am dealing with here. That is all. I am the furtherest thing from someone who is all high and mighty and I don't think I am better than anyone else. In fact I am more of the black sheep in my family partly because I am not so judgmental and I am the rebel. I have tattoos, moved out at 17 on my own, don't like people to tell me what to do, etc. And yes I freely admit I am a control freak. That is something I am working very hard on. After the first post I was just adding details and my mind and thinking were changing. I am glad that my tune has changed since last Sunday. I am feeling much more optimistic now. Honestly I didn't think I was even going to come back to this site and I told myself today ok just go see what was said but don't post anymore. I am glad I did come back because both silversword and lamom made feel better and realize that not everyone here is so judgemental. I can take criticism and I was really thankful for the first few posts that told me to grow up because that is exactly what I needed to hear. And I do not get off on or enjoy writing inflammatory posts. I am sorry I was just writing my story and the quotes that sylviatexas posted that I wrote on the first day I registerd were written because that is what was said. I was not making anything up, that is my story and I am sticking to it, lol. My DH did not graduate but I don't hold that against him. I still love him very much. He also had a drug addiction in his past but you know what he is stronger for it and has proven how he can overcome almost anything. People do change and I do not hold their past on them forever. When I say he went through a bad period that is what I was referring. There is, of course, way more to the story and lamom is right you can not describe it all in one post, or even probably in 100. But what matters most is that this site did help me. I got a change to write my thoughts down and try to figure out what in the world I was really feeling. The more I wrote about SS and what HE has to deal with the more I found that I do care about him. I really do. It is still going to take time to build a relationship but I think it is all going to be ok.

I didn't read all the posts so someone probably already said that you are deluding yourself. He will do the same thing to you and your children as he has done to the other three. Also, you might take a step back for the time being and get your house in order. One thing is you have no business resenting a child. Another thing is that child's behavior depends more on you than anything else. If you set rules in your own household for behavior, he would be obliged not to do the things you dislike, like not cursing and not listening to undesirable music that are a bad influence on the other children in your home. Lastly, get some counseling to learn how to properly direct your feelings. You are married to a jerk and you are as much a jerk for complaining rather than doing anything about it and for disliking a child who has done nothing to you outside of reacting to your own behavior and displays of resentment. Understand this, that child, like any other, would very likely have accepted your love, attention, kindness with open arms, but you have put him off. Don't think he does not recognize how you feel. You cannot hide it if you tried although I doubt you have tried. To answer your question, the way to deal with this child is to decide to be a very good influence in his life. I hope you will also consider that while strangers don't know all the details, they also cannot all be wrong. When you are hurt and trying to accept baby #6, #7, and goodness knows how many more or when you and your baby are left out in the cold with the others, just remember there were a bunch of strangers who told you so, but you chose to ignore them. When in a relationship, every woman feels like "it won't happen to me." But it always does. But you didn't ask for that advice, so take it or leave it.

I have watched from the beginning and make it a rule, no phones, no visitors, no interruptions when it's on...I even had my hubby watching it this year, because of J. Johnson...I get mad, I yell at the TV and at times, can't figure out how "stupid" some can be, but I love, love the show.... The one thing I don't understand, why doesn't Jane give her face a good scrubbing, lol.....I love, that the 2 older women are still around and hope they go to the end.....