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My husband is mean to my little boy (his stepson)

15 years ago

Okay.....I'm sure that this is pretty common, but I could use some advice please :) My husband and I have been married for 3 1/2 years together for 5 years. My son just turned 10. He really is a good boy (I know all mom's say that), but he is - he has been student of the year at his school for the last three years in a row, is very smart, very polite, very funny.... he's also his class Prez. Anyway, he's my little guy that's for sure. My husband is really a big old teddy bear, however, he seems to be the ONLY person that sees and focuses on imaginary flaws that my son seems to have. When he asks him to do something, his tone of voice is really snotty and if my son doesn't do it fast enough, he gets really angry. He is a big guy 6'4 from Texas -from a big italien family. My son and I are both kind of slight and more "chill" as far as our personalities go. There were never raised voices in my parents punished us if necessary in a calm manner (restriction or whatever). The way my husband grew up is totally different with lots of yelling etc. I've tried to explain to my husband that I really want him to be a good example to my son (who has chosen to call him Dad on his own). However, the manner he chooses to speak to him is not a good example - whether my son is in the wrong or not, he doesn't need to YELL at him and scare everyone even our little dog. I love my husband to death - he does a lot for us, can be really fun to be around, but he is so dang crabby and my little boy seems to get the brunt of it. I'm so tired of doing damage control and trying to make sure that my little boy realizes the situation - yes, sometimes he is in the wrong and yes maybe he should do what he is asked immediately - and I try to tell him that his "dad" was raised differently and unfortunately yells. What do I do? I cannot do this for 10 more years (until my son goes to college). For one thing, i have Lupus which is exacerbated by stress (I'm in remission now but was VERY sick with it when I was married to my ex who was emotionally abusive). I'm sorry this is so long.....I'm a newby and have never posted anywhere. Btw, he yelled at my son for no reason tonite, I'm sleeping in the guest room. thanks :(

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