"And I hear a lot about SMs going on crusies etc. I dont." Maybe you should have said you choose not to...not that SM's get to and you don't! And your quotes about children attending college in intact marriages is pretty useless on a stepfamily forum. Maybe your dd won't complete college since your not in an "intact" family! Maybe my son will go into the trades and become an electrician or plumber and not need 4 years of college. Maybe my ss will open his own successful business and not need a 4 year degree. Maybe my sd will become the next famous choreographer since she is so good at dancing. Maybe my other sd will join the military and make that a life long career. A four year degree helps, but is not for everyone! I do hope that all our children go to college for four years, at least to have it to fall back on. As much as I wish we could afford it all it is impossible for us. Maybe my skids bm will save us all the money she should have paid in cs and contribute towards her kids college education!! (doubtful, but I forgot she does not HAVE to do anything and she is okay in your book because she is their BM and if she does not see fit to contribute financially thats okay, but if it were my dh not paying support and her raising the kids then you would be cutting him down) Whats going to happen with your financial deal with exh if your dd decides she doesn't want to get a 4 year college education?

Firemans wife, I wish you all the best. I am really debating on whether or not to make a web page with all this crap that's gone on for 7yrs now. See, I wasn't in the picture in 1995 when the kids were removed and my spouse was very lax about the CS thing. When I came in the picture in 1999 and they started taking out money AGAIN from his check (they'd stop and start CS over and over) we went to the office and he signed an affidavit so I could have access to his case. It wasn't until then that things started getting done. I like to think that if I had been around in 1995 this wouldn't have gone on for so long...but the fact remains that they (attorney general) had access to any and all court documents that were issued out of Montgomery county. They've had this all along but didn't bother to look into it. His file is literally 6inches thick. The attorney that represented the state of texas didn't even bother to crack the folder. Each time we went to court (4 times since Jan) there was a different attorney. I hope everything goes well for you but be prepared for anything to happen. We thought it was all over and done with...then the judge gave his ruling. I was suprised to say the least and so angry that when I got home I called all the newspapers and television stations. I've received 4 phone calls back from different different news stations that want to do investigative work. Oh...did I mention that I taped conversations when we went into the AG's office? Yup, got them talking in circles...saying one thing and doing another. We're still debating on whether or not to go with the television stations. I'm to the point where I'm so exhausted of living in the middle of all that mess and I really shouldn't even be posting about it because it just gets me all worked up again. The more I think about it, the more I think I'll scan our court documents and transcribe the recordings, make a web page and be done with it...that way it'll be out of my system for good and I can tell the entire world at one time without having to go back into that 'mode' I was in for so long when we were dealing with these incompetent morons.

and a boy who has no right to find out who his real dad is? Define "real dad". My brother is my nieces real dad. He is *not* her biological father. If he and my SIL divorced and some new girlfriend thought he should not be paying child support because he is not her "real dad", he would kick her to the curb faster than you can say dna test. My niece, and your BFs son, deserve ***stability*** and they deserve to know that the people who have been raising them are not going to some day abandon them based on a biological technicality. And, yes, I mean a technicality, in the sense of something that doesnt really matter in the real scheme of things. If your BF didnt want to be this boys "real dad", he should have addressed that fact and had the DNA test long ago, before acting in the role of dad to the child. Ok, he didnt. If it matters to him, he darn well needs to do it now and do it soon, but do it knowing that he either takes on full dad role including paying support, including paying back support, or he is no longer the dad, period. If that is what he wants, thats a terrible thing to do to that child, imo, but its better to do it now than later. But its an all-or-nothing thing. He cant use it to get out of the financial support payments, and still get to be a dad to the boy. What if my partner isn't a donor match but there is a biological father out there who is a perfect match and could add years to the boys life? Well, what if? What good is *him* having a dna test going to do? The boys mother certainly knows whether or not there are other possibilities in terms of his biological father, and she is capable of asking them to be tested for a match whether or not your BF gets dna tested. If there is a chance of such a thing, then as the boys "real dad" (the one whos been raising and caring for him as a son), then I would think your BF might consider raising that possibility with the mother. Its not your business, either way, though and you obviously have enough of a personal self-interest in wanting him to not be the dad that you cant really give objective advice here. But taking me and our relationship completely out of the picture, what you are all essentially saying is that its none of your business. You have to let them deal with it themselves; you dont get to have a say. Then you can put you and your relationship back into the picture and you get to decide if the end result is something you want in your life.

When i heard about it last night on the news i was bloody livid!! my husband pays enough..his ex earns 10,000 more than him plus the 7k he gives her and he whines up paying taxes. Now that i'm married his income is taken into account on my taxes. And i cannot deduct the cash he gives his ex!!!! so our family income is bumped over 60 k so now i do not get GST andi have to increase my payments to RRSP just to not pay! With a newborn son this is getting. But we've been to our lawyers and if the ex gets paid more and now that we have a new child we have the right to decrease it! My question is...my husband has not gotten an increase in 3 years..just last year he got one. But every year they have automatically raised it by a percentage. Does this mean WE can also look back from 5 years ago when he didnt' have a raise to take back that money from her????? i would love to test this out. What i'm also wondering is quebec law is very different from canada law. I've notice that alot of thing that apply to canada as a whole, quebec tends to be exempted. Either way. I'm furious as a mother in a new family and would like to start a petition to change the laws in regards to when husbands from previous families start up new ones. The new family should not be penalized due to his past. i know as well there is a law that came out april of 2004 protecting men in this regard basically stating that the new family can not live in detriment conditions due to the old one. So i think this law with the ruling of supreme court will clash and there will more cases in court regarding this matter. Its come to the point where people will become desperate and claim personal bankrupcy. Its awful!