Explore your options now, but don't make permanent plans until you see how much function your mother recovers. And those options should include assisted living facilities. In making your decisions, you need to consider not just your mother's needs and wants, but those of the entire family. It may be best for your mother to be in your home. It may be best for her to be in an assisted living facility with around the clock care. There are 4 people to be considered in making this decision--your mother, you, your DH and your child. It is very easy, and understandable, to make a decision at this point that is in the best interests of the affected person and not in the best interests of other members of the family. Do explore home health care options--the social workers at the hospital should be able to give you lists of agencies that can help. My father desperately wanted to stay in his own home. After he broke his hip, I quit my job to take care of him. There were complications from the surgery. He was in and out of the hospital and rehab for months. During that time, none of my six siblings helped out, although they did come on the weekends to visit. My health suffered. I injured my back and knees because Dad insisted he didn't need help, when clearly he did. I managed to convince Dad and the rest of the family that he needed assisted living after 6 months of caring for him at home. It took a year for me to recover completely after that. My cousin built a lovely in-law apartment on his home and moved his parents in. His father needed aides at night to keep him from wandering off, aides during the day so my aunt could get a break. Physical therapists had to come to their home, because going to an office confused my uncle. For 4 years, my cousin and his family did not attend family events, because they were so involved in caring for his father. Once my uncle went into a nursing home, I swear my cousin's wife looked 10 years younger. They were able to visit with the extended family again. My aunt got a new lease on life, and was able to get out and about and visit her friends, some of whom she hadn't been able to see in 3 or 4 years. No one wanted to put Uncle in a nursing home. But sometimes the toll on the rest of the family is greater than you realize. I'm not trying to tell you what to do. I am asking that you take some time to consider all the options, get a good idea of how much self-care your mother will be capable of before she is released, and make clear, informed decisions that take the entire family into account, not just one member.

The sudden death of my grandmother, the best person in my family, the only one who was loving and not abusive in some way. That killed me for a long time. Years of therapy later, I finally worked up the courage (and self-compassion) to tell another trusted family member how much they hurt me with the way they would habitually speak to me since I was a kid. Being used as a verbal whipping post. Their response? I don’t care, I need someone to talk to, “let it roll off like water on a duck’s back”. I had to write the actual words down right then so I wouldn’t forget and get sucked back in as usual, thinking that they don’t mean it and things will change. That conversation finally gave me permission to stop talking to them and the rest of the family soon followed. “Things don’t have to be this way.” I don’t want to be confined by my past but it’s very hard to rewire a brain habituated to abuse and “feeling bad”. I realized in group therapy that being offered compassion is very painful for me and I withdraw. (I don’t deserve it.) Being yelled at and threatened and demeaned is LESS painful than being shown love, since it’s much more familiar and acceptable. That was a big realization and even though I’m not “there” yet, I know what’s possible with healthy relationships. I watch friends lovingly interact with their kids (and each other and their families) and it’s foreign and painful and scary but slowly healing. A gift.

I'm very encouraged to see you are able to communicate so well so soon after the *insult* to your brain. Are you typing all this yourself? Amazing! Many years ago our DIL's DM fell down a double height staircase at a vacation home and slammed her head on an entry door. The rehab care was teriffic, and she learned to walk and to talk nearly perfectly all over again -- although it took much, much longer than your progress. (Her rescue was delayed by the location, unlike your immediate care.) Nobody wants to have to do this work, but YOU are doing GREAT!

I thought I had done this I. I used to correspond with Jim but lost his contact info when my old phone was hacked. Hopefully he will see this. @jim1961 Central Pennsylvania Zone 6a