This did not happen to me directly, but it is still affecting my, and my family's lives, in many ways. About the age of 15, my mother was sent with her parents and four little brothers to a Japanese Canadian internment camp. That changed her, her family, and my extended family's lives from there on out, emotionally as well as economically. It affects much of my thinking, particularly in today's times, and will affect what I choose to do in the future.

The experience that left the biggest mark on me was moving to a new town and being severely bullied at a young age. It made me very standoffish and definitely left deep emotional scars. Before that experience my intelligence had been celebrated at home and at school but I learned there that being too smart is not a good thing and I think it did impact the trajectory of my young life. I spent a lot of my preteen and teen years bitter and ungrateful for what I had.

The biggest growth event of my life was moving to Montreal to go to university from small town Nova Scotia. Looking back, there are many things I would've done differently, I probably should've gone into a different major, but of course I wasn't extremely self aware and I did really enjoy my time there, maybe a little too much!

Recognizing that I am infertile and having repeated miscarriages has been the theme of the past five or six years for me and has overshadowed much. It's been a bit of a downer but I think by the end of the next two or three years that period of my life will be over, either with or without a kid. Uncertainty is difficult and it will be kind of nice to have an answer either way, but I will keep trying for now. I am thankful to have a kind and supportive husband who really doesn't pressure me a lot either way on this journey, although he would kind of like to have kids he's OK without them.

Two things. One was that I used the Heimlich to save someone while a bunch of us were out camping. She would not have survived a choking incident if someone had not done something to dislodge a piece of meat she had been eating. We're still friends although we don't see each other often. When we do see each other, we clasp hands or hug and acknowledge 'that moment' silently.

The second was a tornado in 1989. DH and I were within a couple of miles of each other and son #2 was working an after school job at a grocery store. I knew DH had stopped to pick up cleaning and groceries and I was at a local department store when it hit. Ultimately 22 souls died in that tornado. I didn't know if my 2 guys were alive or what for at least 3 hours. They ended up rescuing some people from collapsed portions of buildings & from underneath the dry cleaning racks, and both their vehicles were totaled. Three people were killed nearby. Tornadoes scare the heck out of me, and I don't like being separated from anyone whenever there is any threat of one in the area.

Olychick, God bless you for the sacrifice you made. I'm sure it weighs heavy on your heart every day.

Volunteering at a skilled nursing facility. I learned the value of elders, their physical needs, the value of their experience. I did not grow with grandparents or other elders so was clueless til then.

working with State Legislators. They traded how they'd vote on legislations like it was baseball cards--effect on constituency was not part of equation. Changed me in that I don't believe a thing from politicos, not a thing!

ETA: meeting DH.

Like cattyles, September 11, 2001 changed me. I remember thinking early in the day that the incident had to be a terrible mistake by the Air Traffic Control computers. Quickly learned just how uninformed about the world I was.

1. Joining the Army and serving 3 years. I pretty much was ruiing away from home, not because it was bad (it wasn't), but I was bored, and thought that I would live in Philly for the rest of my life. My first time away from home that didn't involve family. I was able to live in Germany for 1 year. I also learned how to work with people from different backgrounds and with different personalities. That skill has served me well. It also encouraged my love of travel.

2. 9/11/2001. We could see the towers from our building in NJ, and some of my friends watched the second tower fall. We could see and smell the smoke for weeks afterwards. It devastated many families in this area.

3. Superstorm Sandy. I had been through hurricanes before, but nothing with this kind of destructive power. I think seeing the telephone pole that crushed a car around the corner from me struck me the hardest. I didn't lose my home (or have any damage) like some of my friends did, a few were out for years. I lost power that Monday night, stayed until Wednesday, then went to my mom's in Philly. I gave her a big hug and broke down and cried.

It sounds so minor, but I spent summers in college working at a theme park. I learned so much, not just about the work ethic, but about customer service. It really changed how I work with people. People who are hot and tired and running on junk food and just want to get in to your theater to sit down and cool off don't want to be told they can't. I used the same customer service skills when I worked at a busy hotel during the school year. And in my career, working with software developers, salespeople, and clients. And as a companion to special needs participants in park district classes. As a parent I use them every day! With kids, with school, with DH (shhh).

Haven't we ALL had some significant experience in our lives that made a big impact or redirected our focus? I can't imagine anyone living in such an idealized environment that they haven't experienced something that made them stop and think, either consciously or unconsciously, about lifestyle, values, philosophies, etc.

I've had numerous experiences like that but one that really stands out for me, as cheesy and as sordid as it may be, is being arrested. After my divorce, I went through a tough emotional time and only just managed to function like a normal human being. And 'just managing' meant that some important things were overlooked.........like paying a big traffic ticket (long story but the reason for the ticket in the first place was due to financial strains, which was also the reason why it did not get paid). Months later, driving home from work, I was pulled over and discovered that my license had been suspended. And apparently driving on a suspended license results in an arrest!!

I was handcuffed, placed under custody in the back of the patrol car and driven to the county jail. And then all the processing - mug photos(!!), finger printing, having all my clothes (including underwear) taken away and dressed in jail coveralls and placed in a holding cell with other very questionable characters (we're talking real criminals here - drug dealers, thieves, someone arrested for assault). And me with my unpaid ticket!! It was the most terrifying experience of my life!! I actually thought I was going to spend the night in jail. At 55 years old and after living a completely ordinary, crime-free (mostly) life!!

Fortunately, it turned out a lot better than it could have. My one phone call - yes, that is real - to a close friend resulted in her arranging bail and picking me up before I had to spend the night. I was able to have family recover my car, another friend was able to come pick up my dog (who was with me in the car when I was pulled over) before I was transported away and take him home. And I got the ticket and the suspension taken care of. And I will say that the officers involved - both in the arrest and at the jail - were amazingly polite and kind and obviously aware I was not one of their usual 'clients'!! But it still was a horrifying experience and was the motivation I needed to quickly get my life in order.

How do you pick one? I can't remember one that was sudden like drowning (came close, twice.) or choking or saving a life or arrested (once I jumped out a window at an underage drinking party and managed to avoid that when the police arrived!). Of course I was affected by 9/11 ( a high school friend died and so did another friend's son) and other horrors. Often these events came along when I might have liked to make a big change in my life but was in a situation where I could not , or at least that was how I felt at the time. Some things that happened to me were sad, in retrospect, and sent my life off in a direction I might not have chosen. I really don't want to relive them here. What made the biggest change for the better in my life was a gradual process. I realized my marriage was a dead end street and I had the choice to accept it or make a change. I chose to change but did it in a progressive way. I went back to school and finished college at age 43, told my then husband it was time to part, got my first real job (scared to death) and supported myself. I built a career. It was not all milk and honey! At times I hated my job and was lonely, but learned so much about myself and the world. Being self sufficient is amazing. It gives you choices. You do not have to accept something that feels wrong just because you have no other choice.

I am enjoying reading your stories. Oly, my sister in law also gave a baby up for adoption. It was definitely the right thing to do. My SIL was 18 and in no mental state to care for a child. I often wonder about that child who would now be in her 40's.

First, gardengal48's experience of going to jail at 55 is one of my worst nightmares. And if it happens, I assure you it will be for something trivial just like hers, not paying a ticket. This sounds just like something I would do. Scary.

Second, my "light bulb" experience. I was diagnosed with a blood cancer in the summer of 2015. This is my second go around with the big C. The nurse actually gave me a hint over the phone that they thought I had the lower form and might not actually require treatment for several years. Turns out I have moved up to the second category and will most likely require treatment sooner rather than later.

The 5-year survival rate is less than 50%. The ten year survival rate is less than 20%. The cancer slowly eats away at your bones and first your back usually breaks. Most usually loose inches in height. The treatment, chemo and stem cell transplants, is going to be very difficult.

Talk about putting a kink in your retirement plans. I now tend to look at life and try to get anything I want. This is a major adjustment since I am one of those people that 1) find it difficult to make decisions, and 2) like to get a good "deal" and do a lot of shopping around before buying anything. No more time for that kind of inaction.

I don't have a bucket list of places I want to go (did a lot of traveling for business during my career) or things I want to do. I have always been a homebody that loves to read. So I now read when I want with no guilt.

Now if I can just decide if I want dark brown stained cabinets or a painted color. I just need to remember I don't need to factor in if I will still like them in 10 years!

My life altering moment was due to my own stupidity and lack of attention. While unpleasant in the extreme, it was something I could essentially walk away from. Accidents/near-death experiences, natural disasters or life threatening illnesses are something else entirely and move the discussion to a whole 'nother level!!

FinallyHome, you have my most sincere wishes for a positive outcome with your illness. So far (knock on wood!) I have been blessed with a very healthy life so I can hardly imagine the burden of living with something like that hanging over your head. Enjoy every moment of every day, recognize what is important to you and live your life happily without guilt or regrets. I wish you the very best.

Thank you all for sharing these incredible stories. I realize how vanilla my life has really been. The single biggest and best thing that's happened to me, that changed my life, is meeting my Hubby. I think I'm one of the lucky ones who really did find their kindred soul. That's something, of course, but it's not getting shot at in a war zone, or giving a child up for adoption, or saving a life, or going to jail. I'm awestruck and really at a loss for words. Incredible, touching stories.

FinallyHome.... many blessings to you - sincere wishes for many, many happier & healthier years ahead.

When I was in jr. high, a time when everyone's life kinda changes dramatically, I started taking clarinet lessons from the senior high band director, who was a scary, exacting woodwind man. I soon learned that he was a loving kind soul who just didn't have time for laziness and a half-assed approach to life. He became a life-long mentor, along with many other teachers who changed my life by opening up worlds of interesting knowledge and beauty to me, and teaching me how engaging in those things could greatly enrich my life as well. This built my confidence as a human being. That's why I became a teacher, to pay if forward.

When I was in college, I went on an educational backpacking trip to the Canadian Rockies. Changed my major to science, brought me to my life's work, and forever changed the way I look at the natural world.

Have met some nasty damaged people in my professional life who threw some roadblocks in my way, which changed the course but not the ultimate destination of my career. I never regretted saying goodbye to their negativity and drama. Also picked up gads of friends and colleagues over the years who inspired me. Both had their effects, but that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Meeting my SO changed my life too, mostly positive, but brought more drama into my life too. He's a blessing though, and I feel so lucky that we found each other in the twilight of our years. My mom dying suddenly changed my life because as an only child, I will have to care for my aging father constantly from now on, indefinitely. I saw that one coming, but it still has changed my life dramatically.

I'm humbled by these thoughtful responses. Thank you! You are warriors.

Olychick, my heart goes out to you. I'm the blessed mom of a son we adopted privately when he was one day old. When he was 19, I found his birth mom for him and we've all become great friends since then. I was aware then of some of what she was going through, but only on a very superficial level. Much more after we became friends and shared so much more. I wish you the very, very best.

Sable : Oh my gosh! Yes, you could write a book, or even a screenplay for a movie with your experiences. How frightening . . . I can only begin to imagine daily life under those circumstances! I have a longtime good friend who is a rabbi and head of a worldwide peace organization. She's told me some stories, too, of her experiences while living in Israel. I am so sorry that life was, and still is, so tenuous and dangerous there.

Finallyhome: my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Lynn, I know we've shared about this in other threads. I, too, am reunited with my son; his adoptive mom is also very welcoming and we became friends. I probably should add reunion as another life changing event. Without my son searching for me and becoming a part of my life, I never would have known the joys of being a mother and grandma, as my son is my only child.

Finallyhome, I wish all the best for you. There are treatment options being discovered every single day, so what is true today might not be true next year. And I would hope for the grace you have in dealing with your diagnosis.

dedtired, I would encourage your sil to search for her child. It might make a big difference in both their lives.

dedtired, I would encourage your sil to search for her child. It might make a big difference in both their lives.

Yes. I was adopted and just about the only request my adoptive parents ever made of me was not to pursue this, so I felt compelled to abide by their wishes while they were alive, although I even supposedly met my birth mother once although I didn't know it at the time.

Now that they are dead it's too late. I presume my birth mother may well be dead by now, but I know I have a half-brother somewhere whom I would love to meet sometime.

Finallyhome, I wish you all the best.

Writersblock, please pursue this! You won't know what is true until you do. Your mother might be dead, but maybe not. Your half sibling (maybe more than one) might be just as thrilled to find you. People are having great success searching with dna testing. Many states have original birth certificates available which would make your search much easier.

(sorry for the little thread hijack)

My sibling committed suicide when I was a teenager. Boy, did I grow up fast and change forever. I had not up to that time experienced a death among my circle of friends and family.

On a more positive note going abroad for a year in college, alone without knowing the language and living with a non-English speaking family, was at once frightening, exhilarating, and totally life changing in many ways for me. To this day it is the one event I can say really shaped who I have become.

Robo, I was also bullied badly as a child by some classmates. The daily walk to and from school, for years, was terrifying, even to the point of physical assaults. I never told anyone--parents or teachers. In the long run I think it made me fiercely independent and taught me to do what I believe is right and be who I am no matter what people's opinions. I have never since that time cared about "fitting in" to any type of social clique. And I think I'm a better person for this.

Emory, me too, I've been very independent since that time. I think I am at low risk of going along with, you know, evil actions of a group.

Finally home, my DH's oncologist said never to take the stats at face value. They are mostly ten year old studies and many in the studies could not tolerate treatments. You can be in the ten year survival stats I know it! The longer you live after diagnosis the better your odds actually are to hit the five and ten year survival marks as well. Medical statistics are very complicated and they get in our way by causing fear instead of hope. There is so much hope today as far as clinical trials and proven therapies. your life is still ahead of you Try to just focus on that. You got this!

you have as much chance to be here in ten years as I do so you too can worry if you like your cabinets in ten years as much as anyone else should... Xo

ETA, maybe we are a match and I can donate my stem cells too you. I am still on the register. Also any one who is not on the marrow donor list now would be a great time to join it! We can help finallyhome by being on it. It will increase her odds of finding a stem cell match!

best,

laura

Best, best luck to those struggling with cancer. It sure is a life changer.

my SIL is no longer living. The adoption was private and the child knows this. She knows who her mother was but not her father, who was a total jerk and not worth knowing. It's a complicated story. I am sure I could fill in some blanks for her but I am not sure if she wants anyone to get in touch, plus I am no longer part of that family, although all are deceased but my ex.

To all those who wrote kind thoughts, thanks so much. It took about a year, but i'm finally in a place to be okay with the diagnosis and am sort of getting on with life, trying not to worry about "what ifs".

Roarah: "you have as much chance to be here in ten years as I do so you too can worry if you like your cabinets in ten years as much as anyone else should... Xo"

I was wondering if other people worried about this when making design decisions. Everybody seems to be showing the after pictures pretty fast.

Well, shoot..........any one of us could get hit by a bus tomorrow :-) Or have some other dreadful catastrophe befall us. My philosophy is to live every day like it might be your last. Plan for the future and live for the present!! If the type of cupboard is important to you now, then make your choice and revel in it. If the issue is not that important to you today, then foist it on to someone else's shoulders (DH?) and move on to what IS important to you.

Finallyhome, I just finished a master bath and I planned it for over a year and still worry if I made the right decisions! It is so stressful but yet also so much fun! My DH was diagnosed one week after the addition was started and I almost halted it for fear of the unknown and it seemed trivial but his oncologist at our first meeting said to carry on with all our plans and keep on living as we were and when you read about the survival stats for his cancer, on paper they looked more dire than what you listed. Cancer can not take away today if we do not let it.

Yes. I have had an unimaginable tragedy in my life where I lost the three people in my life that I was the closest too and somehow I am still here unscathed. When most people hear the story they say they could not recover from it. I never wallow in self pity. I have had it harder than most, but I am resilient. There is very little today that fazes me, I see the big picture. I wake up every single morning and thank God for my blessings. Each day is a gift. And I never lose sight of the fact that I am truly blessed by what matters, I was surrounded by love then as I am today.

Finallyhome, I'm so sorry you are going though this! I have a friend going through her second big C fight. The first was breast cancer. She beat that only to now have leukemia. I was so upset for her, it sucks and just seems so unfair. However, I just got FB message that her blood count is now up to 5.2 and she started at .80. My friend decided against any more chemo/radiation and is on some sort of oil from marijuana. She says she is feeling pretty good.

I am wishing you all my best and a big (((((hug)))).

How about an experience with unknown consequences? My mother died when I was five years old. My father remarried, and I had a step-mother until she died when I was 39. She was the only mother I ever knew, but I sometimes wonder how life would have been different. I was loved and cared for, but I'm sure life would have taken different paths. Oh, well, the path I ended up on turned out OK, too.

I started taking belly dancing lessons in the 90s and danced for about 10 years until I was sidelined by back problems. I have often said since then that once you've danced improvisationally in front of an audience in a midriff-baring outfit, you've pretty much beaten stage fright into submission. Public speaking and singing solos seem more like molehills than mountains now.

I am in awe of the strength of character of many of you here! And humbled in your presence. My own turning point was not nearly as dramatic as many of yours.

At College Fair Day, as a senior in high school, I accompanied then-boyfriend (now DH) as he visited college booths while reps tried to recruit him. One of the reps signed DH up, then turned to me and said, 'Now how about you?'

ME???!! I had never considered college. Neither of my parents completed high school. They had no money; we moved so often (because my dad couldn't keep a job) that I attended 13 different schools before I graduated from high school. College was not on the horizon - it was not even in our vocabulary.

But that college rep eventually talked me into it, found financial aid to pay my way, and signed me up. I earned a one year certificate, then later an associate degree, and still later yet a bachelor's degree. I had an excellent professional career of over 30 years; now I am semiretired and have a well-paying, highly respected part-time job.

All because that rep turned to me and said, 'Now how about YOU?'

Just three words and our lives changed, both DH and I. My daughter called on her cell "Accident, we're trapped!" Within 5 minutes DH and I were on scene, before any emergency vehicles. We came upon a head-on collision. Three drugged teens speeding and changing lanes hit my daughter, her husband, and 10 week old baby Nathan. Two of the teens I saw were already deceased. My SIL was broken from the waist down, and my daughter also had broken bones. Our sweet beautiful Nathan had a traumatic brain injury, similar to shaken baby syndrome where the brain becomes like scrambled eggs and all the wiring gets broken. The memory of that day and the next few months, wondering if he would survive is haunting.

We've spent 15 years loving on this special needs little boy. We've moved several times to follow our kids in their quest to find the best therapy available. He has severe issues and DH & I help as often as we can. Meeting other special needs families has been wonderful. There is a poem called "Welcome to Holland" which we can all relate to. I'm not sure how to link it. This is one of those tragic events that didn't have to happen and I wonder so often what could have been.

NatesGram

NatesGram, that is so unbelievably tragic. We think when our loved ones are born and all is okay that we're kind of out of the woods about the things we worry could have happened, but we are never out of the woods. I'm so sorry for your little guy and his family, but how lucky that he's got you all in his corner.

(( nates gram))

Welcome to Holland for Natesgram

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley.

"I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland."

The Holland story is so moving and certainly gives those of us who have not faced the challenges of raising a disabled child perspective on how it feels. I think it also could be applied to those of us who raised a child who was challenging in other ways. Natesgram, your story is heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. Such a tragedy but uplifting to read of your devotion.

Thanks to all on this thread for sharing their very personal stories. What a remarkable group you are. I love the Holland story and have a family member who can truly relate to it.

Hugs to you all - this truly is the internet at its best.

Mine: hitchhiking alone thru parts of Europe in mid 1970s - which at that time could be done reasonably safely & worked for a while as a waitress in UK (which at the time was possible). I came from a small midwestern town, from a history of family abuse - had so much fear I could hardly even speak at times. However hitchhiking and waitressing are two things where you pretty much HAVE TO talk to people ... an incredible cross section of people, agewise, culturally, rich and poor... and I came to love and hunger to hear their stories and write them down in my journal.

People kept telling me when I came back that I had changed - and looking back it truly was a revelation to learn how profoundly I could change my destiny and how many possible ways there are to think and be in the world - Travel IMHO is one of the best experiences

Somebody needs to archive this thread. I don't know how.

These are stories of loss, challenges and inspiration that shouldn't be forgotten! Stories of courage and determination that I think everyone can draw strength from. Life can knock us down, and HAS knocked many of you down, but you have gotten back up. And marched on.

I won't speak for everyone here, but for me, when life did knock me down I moved on because I HAD to move on. You realize very quickly that life goes on despite what has happened to you. You have to come to terms with your new normal. I remember thinking when the tragedy first happened that I would never smile or laugh again. But I did and I do often. But now I know every moment of joy is tinged with a little sadness for what could have been, even though I cherish the joyful moments more than I did before. Another thing that changed me from experience is that I deep down believe that everyone has goodness in them. I have seen it with the people who helped me get through all of this. Evil will never win.

Thank you all for your kind words, I really feel them. Thank you morz8 for posting Welcome to Holland too. Nathan is a blessing to all who know or hear about him. This is such a special group and I'm lucky to be able to share my experience with all of you and to hear of other wonderful journeys.

By age 73, who hasn't? Having two children, getting divorced, remarrying, moving to a different part of the country 3 times, husband's job losses, children marrying and having children, child's divorce, my husband's death at age 64 from prostate cancer, my own chronic pulmonary problems, just plain old getting old. In other words, LIFE!

Thanks for posting the Holland story, Morz8. I first read it when DGS was diagnosed as a GERD baby. It was a help to me as I was figuring out how to help DS and DIL, who were overwhelmed by the situation at first. Especially as they live out-of-state. It is such a gentle lesson, but difficult - how to accept the unacceptable, and how to adjust gracefully to that which cannot be changed, and how to find the good in what appears so bleak.

I haven't checked any boxes because I would have to check all of them. That's how touching these stories are! As Current Resident said, this is the internet at its best. Every person has a story. Even if you think you don't have a story, you do.

I agree wholeheartedly that travel to a new place is a great way to challenge oneself, to find even a mild adventure, and to experience a change in perspective that can never be taken away. I remember what it was like returning to the States after my first year overseas in Israel and Jordan (some years before the 1967 war that changed my life), Israel then a second-world country, and Jordan almost third-world. I remember walking into my beloved Marshall Field's in the Chicago Loop and being bowled over, almost sick to my stomach at the vast amount of gorgeous stuff available there. I had totally adjusted to "poverty", small plain stores with not much in them, nothing remotely resembling a supermarket anywhere, few people owned their own cars, there was no tv, as neither country had television then, and on and on. But people lived with so much energy and happiness, with appreciation for the details of life and with plans for the future, just as we do. I did not understand how my values had changed until I got home. I was seeing the world with diffferent eyes now; this is what happens when you go to a different (and sometimes more difficult) place - your humanity expands.

I am amazed, humbled, saddened, encouraged and inspired by what has been shared here. There is indeed a remarkable group of individuals in this place.

I can't really point to any one defining moment in my life, but as others have said it's been a series of events that have stopped me in my tracks, turned my life around, or taken me to places I never dreamed of going. And it's funny, because from my current vantage point I look back on experiences in the past and realize fully how I have been taught and molded by them. Isn't it an incredible thing, to just sit back and think of the person you once were, compared to the person you have become? That we even have the ability to live this life and be transformed by it is a gift beyond compare.

What's interesting to me is that it seems like when I work and work to change my life, it doesn't change, and then some random event comes along and it changes so dramatically in a matter of hours or days or weeks. For example, I was plodding along in college but not getting anywhere with my positioning myself for future employment or a career, my mind was still in student mode. My then room mate, a wonderful gal who had been assigned to me when my previous room mate dropped out of school, (she just transferred in), was a real go-getter. She dragged me to a job fair (in March) when I wasn't even thinking about a summer job. She then pushed me to sign up for an interview for a place that just happened to be near her home town. She said, "Of course you're not qualified for the job, but it will be good experience for you just to go through an interview." So I did that, and lo and behold, they hired me for the summer. As I came to find out later, when I attended similar job fairs as a prospective employer, they were basically looking for someone who was lucid and responsible, they could train me for the rest. And they did, they sent me to a three day training workshop where I basically met a cross section of all the movers and shakers in my field. Connections that propelled me and continue to reverberate through my life. And I would have NEVER guessed that such a thing could happen, my mind was not open to it at the time. I see this over and over with the college students that I now counsel, they don't try because they don't think it would be worth it. But one never knows when a connection might be the life-changing one. I always tell them that the only sure thing is if you don't try, you will never get any results.

Many major life experiences that led to course corrections or changes. Winning a fellowship to live abroad. Asking a friend in my graduate program what career she would pursue, and she said "Publishing, of course!" Inspired, I did the same and have had a successful career in that field. Meeting my husband and moving from SF to DC. But by far the most profound experience has been dealing with our daughter's health issues. Years of worry, sheer terror, exhaustion, and effort. I'm not even sure who I would be today if my path had been an easier one.

("Liking" these posts seems somehow artificial, inappropriate, stupid...yet I don't know what else to do..I'm all shaken reading you guys..and "liking" I guess is the only way I can stay shaken, and humbled, and..-and remain silent)

I had a very rocky start in life and will leave it at that. I think the beginning of life changing events for the better started when I moved five states away at eighteen. I learned that no matter how bad you had it there is always someone who had or has it worse. I learned that no one owns suffering. The most important thing I learned a bit later is how important it is to surround oneself with positive people who are truly secure enough with themselves to except different points of view and strong enough to hold friendships throughout those differences. Knowing people like this helped me forgive people who let me down in my earlier life. In the middle of all this my brother was murdered and I learned that I am the sort to have delayed reactions to extreme tragedy. I think knowing oneself helps with other life challenges and I always try to break things down to learn something from it.

I agree aprilneverends, but it's the only option I can think of to let people know I HEARD them and their story.

Thank you for sharing all these stories.

I left my hometown to go to graduate school 500 miles away. My family was not exactly supportive. I moved with what fit in my Chevy Cavalier. I didn't know a soul. it was pretty crazy, 25,000 students and I didn't know anyone. But that first day I made friends who are still my friends even though we are scattered all around the country now.

More recent: My trip to China/Beijing in December. Experiencing nearly off-the-charts air pollution (400 air quality index for particulate matter) and undrinkable tap water, I am very concerned this could easily happen in the US on a widespread scale. It was pretty freaking scary. Flint and Oakland are just the beginning. What happens in China affects everyone. I will do what I can to advocate for clean air and water in the U.S.

new report on deaths from smog

how to mange your polluted air

I've been so lucky...very very lucky...all my life.

Idyllic life growing-up farming. Dad getting a new Black Lincoln Town-Car every 2 years. I felt like a Prince in those things! We had decent farm equipment, etc. Then we suddenly lost him in Oct. 1975. 1 month prior to that, he had just picked-up his 1976 Black Lincoln Town-Car. I was 14, brother was 12. Life got a little different after that. The whole town/area was there for the funeral.

Previous to that, was when I nearly died from Spinal-Menengitis about 1970. At 9 yrs old, the "weight" of that doesn't hit you right away! I still remember all the cards, etc. I'd get from relatives, etc., when I was in the hospital. Being born, and nearly dying, in the same Fargo hospital 9 yrs later still hits me sometimes! Then, in Sept.-1990, our beautiful DD came bouncing into the world!!

Overall...I can't/shouldn't complain. My medical issues are minor, most tests are perfect, or in the "not too bad" category. I'm now in the "Cyborg" category too!

;-) (.....and....I've driven a Ferrari.....;-))

Faron