How about including some lemon drops, a couple DVD's, a relaxing CD, a magazine subscription (even if you don't know what he likes to read, get a general one, he'll probably look at it if not too sick). Not sure why you are so worried about allergies, but I'm sure he can pick out stuff if you include something he is allergic to.

When my BIL was in this situation -- i went & bought him a 'bald head' cap -- but he never lost his hair.. -- I sent him comic books - didn't your folks bring those home when you were sick? Mine did - along with candy bars [ok I think my dad ate half of them for me...] Check out the 'party favors' stuff at the $ stores..

I like the pity party idea. You can send cards, a Suduko book, a handkerchief (for the pity part) and a paddle ball...you know, the kind of paddle with a little ball attached with a rubber band. I made up a bag of stuff like that for a friend who had surgery and was bored out of her mind and didn't like to read or watch tv. She loved it.

Hope your friend recovers quickly.

Your intentions are great...but I would ask you to think about the "pity party" aspect.
Recovering from an illness is one thing, but fighting a possibly terminal illness is a time for hope - not pity.

When is he due back to work? Once weekly chemo may not mean he won't be working. If he's coming back to work soon....a big funny "we miss you, get back soon" card, signed by all with little notes added would probably be very welcome.
If he's on indefinite sick leave....then maybe a "what's new with the gang" letter, an inaugural issue that you promise to do bi-weekly about simple events - not business, just birthdays, innocent "people" news.

When I went to Johns Hopkins for radiation of my brain tumor 3 of my friends filled a shopping bag with little wrapped gifts with instruction to open one each day - or more if I was really down. It was so much fun. Let's see, I got chocolate, mini books, a candle, hand-held games, lotions, bubbles, puzzles (jigsaw & crosswords). Since the tumor was affecting the acoustic nerve I got a tiny stuffed dog with a bandaid on his ear. I don't remember every item but the point is everything in the bag reminded me that someone cared. I got lots of laughs and really looked forward to the next day so I could open another surprise. Nothing in the bag was expensive but everything in there cheered me up.

I have since done this for a couple of other people who enjoyed it just as much as I did. The dollar store and places like Big Lots are wonderful for this. Be sure to include kid's toys. Silly Putty, jacks, pick-up sticks, Old Maid. Doesn't matter if the person never uses those things it will put a smile on their face.

Linda

Linda

I am with Monica about rethinking the "pity party". I like her idea of the funny card and the newsletter.

I've fought cancer a couple of times (I'm fine). Every thing sounds fine, but I agree, no "pity party". Some gifts and a nice card would be wonderful.
You are so thoughtful.

Ditto not calling it a "pity party" bag. I like the idea of a bunch of little, inexpensive gifts with dates on them that show when to open.

I also agree with a no pity party idea. When I had cancer, I just wanted to live life as normal as possible. Little gifts to keep me occupied would have been wonderful. Books, little fun games, silly putty, cards and fun stuff. One can get "chemo brain" with chemo where it is hard to retain things so keep the books simple without a lot of complication helps. I found that reading books with lots of characters was hard for me to keep sorted out. The same with TV shows, I would lose my concentration watching some of the shows I previously enjoyed. Keep it simple....short stories. Games that can be picked up and put down like crosswords, word search helped.

No suggestions - just wanted to say "hi" to you, Vickey! I enjoyed talking to you guys so much when we met at Sandy's. Hope you're doing okay.

Heather is right on.
I also sent my friend little food items that were local here,(vaccum sealed smoked salmon and crackers,loganberry jams) that she couldn't get at the Mayo. I sent local newspapers and made a soft cozy lap robe to snuggle in as she was frequently cold. Kathy

what about one of the fruit boquets

Thanks for the imput on the "Pity Party" idea. I had thought of it more along the lines of what Lindylouwho's friends did, I didn't think of it being taken literally as giving him pity, I thought of it as a "when i'm feeling down, here's a little thing to pick me up" type thing...I'm glad people here helped me to see that. Keep the ideas coming!!!

Vickey-MN

I also agree with Monica.Especially since you don't know him "personally".I think the pity party thing would be too personal since you have no idea what his personality is.If I were the recipient of something like that under the circumstances,I would be offended.If it came from good friends or family that I was around every day and were involved in my daily life it would be different.
I think the idea of a bag of gifts,things to keep him occupied and (of course) candy bars would be great and more appropriate.

I think Lindylouwho has a great suggestion. When I had surgery about 10 yrs ago, a cousin & his wife did this for me. They knew I drank pepsi so that was included. Besides the snack stuff, they included some stamps. I don't remember everything, but I remember they cared. Each item was individually wrapped (except the Pepsi)and numbered.
I've since used this concept for Christmas for my mom, and she loved it!! Even if your friend doesn't care for, say a packet of peanuts, he'll find someone who does. Most of all, he'll know someone was/is thinking of him. And that's the important thing. Extras in the form of the newsy news someone mentioned would be a bonus if you would normally discuss these things via phone.

I also vote negative for the pity party. I like the card and little gifts idea. Gift cards for book stores or restaurants & cafeterias with "to go" menus are also useful.

I'm sure he will appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Another "no" vote for the pity party theme. It has the potential to go wrong, and you don't want that.

I didn't have cancer but when I was in the hospital, my boss gave me a bag of stuff.....really thoughtful.
She included an eye mask, ear plugs, a deck of small playing cards, a book of poems and some fake flowers.
You are so thoughful!

There are traveling puzzles at Walmart. The pieces are all connected so you don't lose them in the car. It is something like a spiral that you put together. Maybe he would like that challenge while he is having his treatment.

A great book that I enjoy giving and receiving...is the Uncle John Bathroom Reader Series. While the name is odd, the content is light and interesting. It is basically a book about trivial things...in a short concise format. I have several that I keep beside my bed. I read a couple of pages a night before bed. If I fall asleep while I read, I don'tworry about loosing my page.

Annie