Thank you all for your kind words and prayers. Please know that I love each one of you and it is friends and family like you that make life so meaningful. Each of you have a special place in my heart. Sincerely, Marian

I couldn't say whether the OP's sister-in-law is rude, but judging by the OP's responses to other posters, she could sure use a few hours of charm school. It's not possible to control the direction a thread might take. This is a forum and that means discussion - sometimes people discuss things you'd rather not talk about. Tough noogies! I want my house to feel friendly and I hope my friends and family feel welcome and comfortable. I have nice and new expensive furniture. So what! When you visit me, go ahead and put your feet up on the coffee table, sit back, take a sip of your coffee or wine and let's have a nice chat.

Well thank you for asking! After we had a blow out of sorts (I didn't think it was a blow out, but more like a slow steam release) he left our house and went to move in with one of his step-daughters in his old home town. He got settled in down there and landed a job, but it didn't last, then bounced from job to job until he's finally settled into one that seems to work for him. He also met a gal, and from what I believe, he's living with her now. His ex-wife is getting remarried soon, and as soon as she'd announced her wedding plans, he got engaged to the gal he's seeing. We don't think they'll end up marrying however. DH is concerned, however, because his brother is drinking a lot. Before he met his ex-wife he drank a lot, then they got married and he did a 180 turn around. But the new gal is nothing like his ex, and she apparently likes to drink too. We don't know too much of her story, only that she has kids but doesn't have custody of them. She does work, but apparently it's not a 'career' type job, just a job. So, all in all, he seems happier down there than he was up here with us. I do not know what his relationship is with his ex, but I'm pretty sure they communicate frequently, since he was living with his step-daughters family. DH is very relieved he's moved out, he told me he didn't realize how stressful it was having him live here (uhhhh, no kidding!) And I'm happy to report that Buddha is back in his place of honor in the guest room.

A person who loves to twist the knife is likely a person who would cultivate a friendship for informational & manipulative purposes (to find out what you're up to so he can sabotage it, etc). so...your brother-in-law may be in for a rude surprise someday. That won't help you now, though; when someone is being "courted", groomed, cultivated, it's very flattering, & they just can't believe that the other person has ulterior motives; they're more likely to accuse you of pettiness, control issues, and/or jealousy. I'd say *don't* be "open-minded about this; anything that can expose you to ridicule or risk is not something about which you can afford to be tolerant. Unfriend bil on fb & adjust your privacy settings, remind your sister to keep mum about you to her husband, protect yourself, & leave your ex in the dust of the past. I wish you the best.