I haven't heard anything more since my DSIL sent me a text this morning. Thank you all so much for the thoughts and prayers. I know they are working. I will try to post as soon as I hear something, but am going to be with out internet for a few days. If I can get logged in on my phone I will up date, if not, I wll post when I get home on Monday. Tami

Thank you Glenda, and yes I am sure they were. I have to step back and just offer my prayers and good wishes. They are adults. I am just the curious type I guess.

Thought I would update this, as my DH and I spent from 11AM to 6PM helping my niece and her DH in their garden. Despite her "I know nothing.." comments, they were both very willing to learn (although truly ignorant). Sometimes very intelligent people like to learn new things, and I think that is what happened. By the end of the day, she and I (I stuck to my decision NOT to do much work, just to advise her what to do) had planted a rose I brought them, which was a rooted cutting (which had been in a big pot for 2 years and was well developed) of my ancient huge bush Cecile Brunner. We had also pruned and sprayed (rust) and fed and mulched an old climbing HT which was in her garden already. I had fed it a year ago, probably for the first time it had been fed in several decades. It had responded by putting out several healthy climbing canes, so we tied those to the fence, and when we were done it actually looked respectable. Then we did the same thing to two pathetic, tiny, barely surviving mop head hydrangeas which her mow and blow guy had evidently been cutting almost down to the ground EVERY Fall. I told her to tell him NOT to touch them, ever. Meanwhile, my DH was teaching her DH how to install a drip watering system - they got quite a lot done, and I was pleased to notice that our nephew asked lots of questions, and by the end of the day had succeeded in understanding most of what my DH was telling him. So, their interest and enthusiasm was much better than I had expected, and that was very nice. Now she just has to take back to the store several trees she bought before I got there, thinking (or not thinking) that they would make nice 8 ft tall bushes, when the tags on them said they got 15-20 feet tall and wide! Jackie

I know a woman who is in a similar situation. Her daughter was murdered by her estranged husband who then committed suicide. The children were in the house at the time and were about ages 8 and 12. They have a grandmother who is probably in her late 70's and an aunt who is single, by choice, and who has no desire to rear children. They have hired a nanny, are sending them to summer camp, and will send them to boarding school when old enough to go. Frankly, I think it would have been better if they had been put up for adoption as they have to know they are not wanted. They've really had quite enough trauma in their young lives.