I would move. As your kids get older being close to their activities will become increasingly important. I know your job is stressful but all of that time commuting is also stressful and greatly affects quality of life. Think about as your kids get older and have different activities on different days at different times. You might be making that commute several times a day or trying to find things to do in town between activities instead of just going home. I know you said that you will run into people from work but will they really ask you work questions and bother you outside of the office?

If you move to the "3 mins away" location, what does that do to your husband's commute?

About the basement issue, there are other options (see link to one), some of which can be installed even after the house has been built. .

Here is a link that might be useful: storm shelters

We moved and I am 100% glad we did. The one thing we didn't move, those activities with his peers, my son misses out on. Everything else, he gets to do whatever he wants. And only taking 15 minutes to get home instead of 90, oy, my stress level has dropped tremendously.

But I have to ask a question, why spend $$$ on a new house, but not to rennovate? We moved three walls and ended up with a an office instead of a huge washer/dryer room (it was so odd!); a walk-in closet in the bedroom instead of a closet that was so small, I couldn't even open my arms fully from side to side (I'm 5'4"); got a W/D closet (much more reasonable!); and a walk in pantry. Plus a much bigger bathroom. The new walls did cut down on the kitchen, but not too much. We didn't want a huge kitchen with no cabinets in it. That didn't make sense.

Three walls. There was no plumbing to move (since the w/d went where the bathroom was). We did have to have some wiring done for the new bathroom. And it still was not as much as building a new house. We ended up loving it! If you're willing to pay $$$ for a new house, why not sink some into remodeling?

rob333 -- the OP said: "Addressing the floor plan issues are cost prohibitive."

But my question is, why is that cost prohibitive but buying a house is not? I heard, I just don't see the logic.

Thanks to everyone for your responses. A few things I probably didn't make clear in my rambling post :).

1. My commute is currently 20-25 minutes, my husband's is an hour and will not change in either location.
2. Yes, people will definitely talk about work when I see them out. Then I'll hear the next day from 2-3 people that Jane Doe saw me out. Then there are people who want to talk to me about candidates for openings I may have, confidential issues, etc. Not every interaction would be that way, but enough to make it uncomfortable.
3. To address the issues with our curret house we'll have to go down a bedroom (6 to 5, and the only first floor br we have for guests like my parents, who are getting older). To do the bare minimum to address the major issues, it will cost $46k. Also, I've been told the loss of a br will impact resale value. And i don't want to invest that much o still not love the house.
4. Moving closer to my job also means leaving our current neighborhood, that we love. But I am concerned about being 25 minutes from the kids in case I need to get to them. We can get them to some activities, it will just be a challenge. My husband doesn't see it as a big deal. I do, especially because we have no family or real support system here.

Many of you are confirming my initial thought that we should suck it up and live in an area we don't love as it will be easier with the kids.

I appreciate all the advice this far!

To address the issues with our curret house we'll have to go down a bedroom (6 to 5, and the only first floor br we have for guests like my parents, who are getting older). To do the bare minimum to address the major issues, it will cost $46k. Also, I've been told the loss of a br will impact resale value. And i don't want to invest that much o still not love the house.

Why do you have to lose a bedroom? Because it would greatly reduce resale value, true. I wouldn't invest a lot into a house I didn't love either.

But I gotta tell ya, I just love being close to what we do in our lives now, and I really really love my son being able to be around whatever he wants to do. That just didn't happen where we lived before. Everything took no less than a 3 hour drive to get to/from. Not even an event itself. Actually, I realized I couldn't make it to school to pick him up quickly enough even with aftercare figured in. We moved from Murfreesboro (yes, we're in middle TN too) to Nashville. He's in the magnet schools (one of the top in the nation!) here and so, that part turned out better anyhow.

Small world! We love in and love Arrington (between M'boro and Franklin with most current activities in the Franklin area), and Murfreesboro would be where we'd relocate to.

Live in and love, lol

LOVE love love! Murfreesboro. You'll love it there. So many places to build and things to do. Arrington is pretty cool, but me thinks you'll really want to leave this month (with the Renaissance Festival crawling all over). Don't let it factor into deciding.

We live in Arrington now and love it!! we do avoid the festival lol :). I work in Murfreesboro and lived there briefly. It just didn't appeal to us as much as we'd hoped (esp my husband). We may have to find a way to focus on the positives.

On the side closer to Smyrna, near the river, the yards are so green and nice, you might like that. I'm talking about if you drive past Stones River Country club and turn onto North Thompson Lane, those subdivisions on the left, river side, are fairly well kept. Just take a drive and look around.

"But my question is, why is that cost prohibitive but buying a house is not? I heard, I just don't see the logic"

From my perspective, if it's not that the layout or the building envelope is so limiting as to make attempting renovations an exercise in futility, it's that it is often easier to get financing to buy a house than it is to use cash reserves or a loan against any equity to make reno's.

Guess I just don't mind rennovating. Probably because I can do it myself.

You said it will cost $150k to move and $46k to renovate. Will you be $100k worth happier if you move? Will you really get your perfect house for $100k more?

Not to side track this thread...

We live in East Nashville but are looking to move in a year or two for more space and better schools. We have looked at Hendersonville and Franklin. We thought about Murfreesboro but thought it would be to far for our commute (we both work near downtown Nashville.

Options on Murfreesboro?

For me, renovating isn't an option. I can't talk myself into investing almost $50k into a house that I still won't love. Also, the renovations won't add much, if anything, to my property value.

The new house I want to build is pretty close to my dream house. We were set to build it about 6 years ago when the builder went bankrupt and my sizeable deposit was gone. In a way I do realize it's silly. We've got a house that's okay, but thee rooms I use a lot, I hate. I do think I'd be happier in another house. This may sound silly, but it's a pain to even get ready in the morning because my husband's vanity drawer, which he uses daily, blocks the closet. Then I have to ask him to close it and squeeze by. The shower door and one of the double doors or the bathroom hit each other, daily. I'm waiting for the door to shatter. Same with the pantry door and fridge- lots of dents because of this. The laundry is the area we walk in through the garage. The original owner had the washer and dryer in the garage, we wanted it in the house. As a result, our 6x8 laundry room can fit only a few people at a time when we're coming in from the garage. The master closet is too small and I have no place for towels downstairs, so I had shelves built in the closet, leaving even less space. Anyway, I talked to my husband last night and he said he'd reconsider moving to the city where I work.

Thanks for everyone's input.

PP, it depends on how far you're willing to drive. You'll probably want to be either in the Blackman area or near 840. If you want to be near 840, there are several neighborhoods off Thompson or Haynes. Depending on what time you leave, you're going to run into traffic on 24 which can slow you down considerably. We're 8 minutes from 65 now, and it takes him a little over an hour to get to work unless he leaves between 4-4:30am. His commute was about the same from Murfreesboro. If we saw there was any type of a delay due to an accident, etc. on 24, he worked from home because that usually would add an hour to his commute. I know several people who have done it for years.

Tad,

That same area I love is on the northmost edge of Murfreesboro, so as close to Nashville as you can get and still be in Murfreesboro.

Communting from West Nashville to Murfreesboro was pretty difficult when I was trying to get home for anything like picking up kids from school. Traffic can get pretty dense right about exit 70, Almaville Road/Smyrna until at least exit 74 where you can exit to the edge of Murfreesboro. That four miles can be really difficult during the commute home. The commute to work gets dense right about Hickory Hollow to Harding Road. And the ways around it, aren't much better. Too many lights. But if you don't mind driving for 45-90 minutes to get home, it's worth it. There is enough in Murfreesboro to keep you happy, it's less expensive, more relaxed atmosphere, close enough to Nashville for anything it doesn't have.

I can't speak to the benefits/problems of Franklin, but living in Franklin, it seems like my youngest brother is really struggling financially to live there. And at no other time have they struggled. Is it worth it? Dunno.

All places have good schools.

_____________________________________________
Murfreesboro school rating: http://www.greatschools.org/tennessee/murfreesboro/

Franklin school rating: http://www.greatschools.org/tennessee/franklin/

Nashville school rating: http://www.greatschools.org/tennessee/nashville/

And because I know my hometown, more Nashville ratings

http://www.usnews.com/education/best-high-schools/tennessee/districts/metropolitan-nashville-public-schools/hume-fogg-academic-high-school-18154 (Gold ranking from US News and World Report #54 in the nation)

http://www.usnews.com/education/best-high-schools/tennessee/districts/metropolitan-nashville-public-schools/martin-luther-king-jr-magnet-at-pearl-high-school-18163
(Gold rating from US News and World Report and ranked #73 in the nation)

Rob333,

Thanks for the info. My wife wants Franklin but I already told her that is a pipe dream at our stage financially. We are actually looking to build a home one 1 - 2 acres. I just have to think if I can deal with the traffic everyday. I really enjoy that 15 - 20 min commute I have now but I guess life is full of trade offs.

It sounds to me like you have your heart set on moving. But maybe if you posted your floor plans on the Building A Home Forum, maybe people could give you some ideas on how to make your house more comfortable.