When we put ours up for sale two neighbors just would not speak to us. When they finally did, we showed them the house and all the woman could say was, "well we updated our windows, we put in a sun porch...blah blah...you wont get your asking price" They have the same exact house as us but ours was renoed top to bottom, save windows and driveway. You would think she would want us to get the most we can for the house as they are selling soon as well and ours will be the comparable. But no! I just don't understand neighbors.

On the positive side, since we have sold, we have talked to neighbors we have never talked with about real estate and renos and of course prices. They want to know how we go SO much for our tiny house.

we lived in a neighborhood where most families got along.we would throw 4th of july parties,invite neighbors for a swim and bbq on weekends, vacationed with some,dined with others in great restaurants.We told them of pending house going on market, all were sad to see us go,but understood.The CAVEAT is they were "neighbors" and not true friends, as we have heard very little from any of them unless we iniate plans..We have since not contacted nay of them, and lo and behold, they have not contacted us..Life goes on...I have friends who i've known since 1st grade 40 years ago..We see each other,perhaps once a year or 2, as we all live across the country.BUT, when we do, it is truly a friendship,which has depth..You can choose your friends, but not your neighbors ;)

the summer parties,the closeness of the neighborhood, has diminished greatly since we left, as an elderly woman i helped out told me..que sera sera

why would their feelings be hurt that you're moving? They shouldn't take the personally.

The only thing they could be hurt about is that you didn't tell them before they found out from the larger world.

So, just call them on the phone and say, "I wanted to let you know, we're lisitng our house, and we're moving."

You don't owe your neighbors any explaination. They will see the for sale sign. The bolder and snoopier ones will come over to your open houses seeking information and will no doubt pass it on to others.
If they were really in your inner circle of friends they would know from conversations with you what you were planning. Apparently there's not as much information being passed between you and them as you think if they have no idea this is about to happen.

If you've had good relationships with them, I think it's great that you want to tell them (or even if you haven't - it's what nice people do, IMO). Just knock on the door when they are home and do it. Not apologietically; just tell them that you wanted them to know before the sign goes up.

We've always had good relations with our neighbors and each time my hubby was transfered we'd tell the neighbors before the for sale sign went up. All wished us well, most have kept in touch through the years. We've never hurt any feelings, people understand when you have to or want to move. We did have one neighbor several years ago make a racist remark when a non-white couple looked at the home we were selling. She didn't like the idea, I just said to her, everyone's money is the same color and we don't discriminate. She was unhappy and wouldn't talk to us again. Apparently she wanted to pick her own neighbors.

Oh boy, I have one neighbor that balled when I told her we are selling. Every time I mention it she gets teary eyed and once she genuinely asked me not to move.

I found out that the buyers like to garden (they liked my landscaping) so I was able to pass that on to my neighbor which made her feel a lot better since she too is a gardener.

If you have everyone's email maybe you can just send out a mass email letting everyone know and telling them you will miss them and that they better keep their yards cleaned up:)

IMO, the neighbors you are close to should already know you're thinking of selling, because it usually comes up in coversation; the ones that have no clue, are you really neighborly with?

We've been thinking of selling since August. I'd actually wanted to buy my dad's house, but it fell through. The neighbors I'm friendly with knew from day one. Since most of our stuff is packed up still since my mother went back on her word, we decided we're going any way. I let my one neighbor that I see almost daily know.

I'd take the particular neighbor's names off the list of those to be mailed. Then I'd take a couple of the flyers and hand deliver them to your friends. Doing that will allow you to personally explain what's going on. Just make sure that if you do this, you get to their houses before the mail is delivered to others.

We offerred on our current house in February, closed in March. The neighbors had no idea that the previous owners were selling - it was winter and no one was out yakking in their yards. It was a surprise to our block that we moved in.

I can see how misa's situation could happen.

I am so glad with this thread. We sold our home last Jan and neighbors were kinda funny. Some congratulated us, some just wanted to know all the particulars of our lives. One couple with young kids that we had gotten closed with stopped talking to us. Christmas I gave the kids their gifts as always and I'm still waiting for the thanks. No contact whatsoever....I was quite hurt but I guess it was just a neighborly relationship. I miss the kids.

We just went through this! Our closest neighbors were very upset. They understood, but I swear they were going to cry. (Heck, even my dh was close to tears.) We're not moving that far away either! The nice ones - you feel bad.

We had new neighbors move in a few years ago. Our kids played together on occasion. Then a few months later, they put their house up for sale. Never mentioned it to us. They lived across the street! From the time they put the house on the market to the day they moved (about 60 days), they never said one word to us. Obviously, we weren't best friends, but ouch, that really hurt. They lived here less than 18 months total. I hear through the grapevine that they were divorcing, so maybe they were embarrassed?? to say anything, but still....not one word.

Wow, I thought DH and I were the only ones afraid to tell our neighbors!

Only in our case it's because they're weird (but nice), and we just *know* they're going to feel "betrayed". (They'd always tried to force some feeling of kinship because we both bought older homes and remodeled.) Only DH and I are DONE with that game, and are moving. Furthermore, we're having all the remodeling done before we move in this time, as we never want to live like that again.

We've mentioned moving a few times, and they've acted like that would be such a foolish thing to do, especially considering all the work we've done on the house. They've also mentioned that they think our house is plenty big, and have balked when we said we needed more space.

We need to posture ourselves so that we don't end up sounding apologetic, and trying to justify our move to them.

make it a SHORT conversation.

Or better yet, write them a nice little note on stationery, and mail it

Then you can totally control that particular conversation. One thing to be said for the mail!

And for all subsequent conversations, develop your little "tag line," and trot it out over and over and over and over. "We have always wanted more space, and the new house will have it." If they keep it up, put a BIG emphasis on "WE"--as in, "not you, it's not your life."

And, cut those conversations short. You don't need to justify to ANYONE why you need more space, or why you want to move, etc.

500 mailings??!?! IS that to advertise the property or my goodness you have one heck of a lot of friends. If I had that many friends I wouldn't move or know what to do either. How do you keep all of their names straight? Sounds like a nice town too where are you located? Here where I am people move all the time, put their house on the market without saying a word or just disappear into the night. So you must be far far away from me.

Why on earth would anyone feel "betrayed" because a neighbor's life was changing in such a way that meant they needed to move on? My goodness! Are people really that wrapped up in themselves and/or selfish that they would see such a decision as some kind of personal slight? If neighbors are friends, why couldn't they continue to be friends? Y'know, folks can still keep in touch via phone, email, snail mail, and visits.

We moved from a VERY small community of about 100 in December. We weren't looking either, but a realtor friend that knew our tastes called with "the perfect house" - we looked, we bought. We planned to break the news to everyone when we put the house on the market figuring it would take a few months to sell & we'd still be in & out while we worked on the new house. However, we sold it to the first person we told (not neighbors) & they wanted to close on December 15 - we had 2 weeks to prep the new, fix the old, move, etc. & we were keeping such odd hours that we never ran into anyone to tell them. All of them were nice, great neighbors, but we didn't "hang out" with any of them. They are probably mad at us or feel offended that we "up & left" but it was unavoidable. We never dreamed it would happen so fast!

Funny, we are perpetually looking and I had an agent call my cell while I was having lunch with a neighbor/friend. I consider her a friend but did not want to discuss houses in front of her. So I can see where someone you really like and consider a friend may have no idea

If you do not plan to keep in touch beyond yearly cards, I would not worry about it. Just give them a quick call or something

I have very nice neighbors but a decision to move is a personal thing. As much as I like my neighbors I could careless how they feel because it is my life. Sounds selfish I know but I am sure if the shoe were on the other foot my neighbors would feel the same way. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do .......just come out and tell them that you are planning to move and leave it at that.

We never NOT told our neighbors in our old neighborhood. It's a very close neighborhood - everyone pretty much knows each other and there are lots of neighborhood get-togethers. When we decided to buy a house, we told people on our court who then told people on other courts. I also informed the HOA board (I was a member) and THAT meant EVERYONE knew, likely within the hour.

It's not that hard to tell people about big events in life and buying/selling a house is a very very big event.

When our house didn't sell within two weeks (ok, we were unrealistic given the market slowdown), we contemplated a drastic price cut and we knew THAT would upset the neighbors, especially the ones who were also thinking of putting their house on the market (we would have undercut their lowest price). But we certainly didn't worry about telling people we were moving.