I'm really sorry about your situation. Only you know who your DH is and can predict how he might handle you confronting him. Lawyering up wouldn't be my first act if I felt like we could work it out alone. Paying Lawyers is very expensive. If you decide to leave the marriage and feel like he wants what is best for his children, I would bypass that as a first resort. You can research laws yourself. You need to know how much money you have, where it's kept and how to access it immediately. If you have a hunch he would really leave his family destitute, you need to act on that, clearly. But if you think you both can be rational, bringing up $$ issues first may take the focus off your relationship. You need to decide if your marriage is salvageable and if you want to salvage it. Spend $$ on couple therapy. Good luck. You know who he really is. Make decisions based on that.

Okay, since you asked ;o) It doesn't matter to me personally what anyone does, but what does matter is the sanctity of marriage and the responsibility that those who enter into it should have. One word. Respect. If you can't have respect for marriage then don't get married. Okay, so someone has respect for marriage and gets married and then finds out that their mate is not who they thought he or she was. Now it's time to make a very important decision and that is whether to stay or go. If they choose to go, in order to give marriage the props it deserves there should still be no "dating" or sexual dalliances until they are no longer legally married. I'm having a hard time understanding what's so darn difficult about that very sound concept. When a person is still married while choosing to carry on an affair ( and maybe that partner is a no good so-and-so), that doesn't make it the right thing to do. Whatever the circumstances are, whether that person has wronged, it really doesn't matter (here's that "matter" again)because the person who is cheating isn't holding the institution of marriage in high esteem. You can slice and dice it however you like, but "dating" while still legally married is cheating. The cheating isn't only happening to the person, but the cheating is also happening to the institution. And Dr. Browne is not only a "talk show psycholigist", but she has had her own practice, is involved in many charitable organizations, has written numerous books and papers, lectured, and is sought out by her peers in matters involving various situations where a well respected psychologist and family counselor is needed. "I think you are well aware that I chose a "sooner rather than later" path myself." I really had no idea that you did. Maybe I can surmise, but I certainly wouldn't query you about it (or anyone else for that matter). I (personally) wouldn't advertise that was the path I'd chosen. That's just me.

Thank you to everyone for your suggestions -- talked to my sis this afternoon and after a very long stressful weekend her landlord finally returned her calls this morning. He has agreed to rip up the lease and is letting her use the security deposit (2 months rent) for May and June rent (she's already paid April rent). She said he seemed embarrassed and apologetic, I told her to get the whole agreement in writing so he can't come back and sue her or evict her for not paying rent. She will still have the expense of another move and utility hook ups etc, plus the hassle of moving again, but it's not as disastrous as it could have been. I guess I never thought about the fall out of this whole housing mess affecting renters, but according to what I'm reading online, it's very common now.

Countrywide Gives Bank of America $447 Million Gain (Update3) By Caroline Salas and Steven Church Aug. 23 (Bloomberg) -- Bank of America Corp., the second- biggest U.S. lender, is already up about $447 million on its $2 billion preferred stock investment in Countrywide Financial Corp. This is ``something of a sweetheart deal,'' David Hendler, an analyst at research firm CreditSights Inc. in New York, said in a report. Bank of America, based in Charlotte, North Carolina, can convert the preferred stock to common shares at $18 each. If the preferred Countrywide shares were swapped for stock at the high today of $24.46, Bank of America would make a $700 million profit. Countrywide, the biggest U.S. mortgage lender, will also pay dividends of 7.25 percent on the preferred shares. Countrywide, which lost half its market value after peaking on Feb. 2, rose 20 cents, or 0.92 percent, to $22.02 in New York Stock Exchange composite trading. The deal, announced after the market closed yesterday, was made to help Calabasas, California-based Countrywide weather the global credit rout that had cut off its access to short-term financing. The investment reassured investors after Countrywide was forced last week to draw on $11.5 billion of bank credit lines and Merrill Lynch & Co. raised the prospect that the company may be headed for bankruptcy. ``The only time you see terms like this is if a company is really desperate for financing,'' said Andrea Revy O'Connell, president and chief executive officer of Froley Revy Investment Co., which manages $800 million in convertible bond assets. `Pretty Rare' A 7.25 percent coupon on a convertible ``is pretty rare on a company that's investment-grade,'' O'Connell said in an interview from her Los Angeles office. ``I wouldn't mind getting seven and a quarter.'' By comparison, Countrywide in November sold about $1.5 billion of preferred shares that pay a dividend of 7 percent. The debt isn't convertible into shares. ``This transaction goes far beyond the indenture that you're reading,'' Angelo Mozilo, chief executive officer of Countrywide, said in an interview. ``The $18 a share, and the premium and that sort of thing. It's not about that at all. It's about making sure this company is secure for the next 40 years and that our shareholders, our long-term shareholders, are rewarded.'' Countrywide sought a fairness opinion on the deal from Goldman Sachs Group Inc., Mozilo said. If I had that kind of spare change, I'd have bought Countrywide preferred shares, too.