Hi Sheila Joyce ... and partner, Congratulations ... ... and, in addition to a couple of days initially ... youve had a 44-year honeymoon? Good wishes for many more worthwhile, interesting, productive, healthy, happy, helpful (and half-baked, on occasion) years together. ole joyful P.S. By the way ... what do they call a rejected suitor character that screws up a planned elopement ... an interloper?? o j

Covingtoncat, we stayed at the Berea College Inn run by the students for our one night in Berea. I had quite a scare there as a new bride: We arrived later than we had expected to. The elderly desk clerk kind of gave us what-for and explained that we had arrived so late that the bellman was already off for the night and that we would, therefore, have to carry our own bags up to our 3rd (?) floor room. That was fine with us, but as we got off the old fashioned elevator, the first door we saw was labeled "Restroom." I panicked. A new bride, with a lovely, sheer peignoir to wear, and the bathroom was DOWN THE HALL??? The first thing I checked when we got to the room was to see if we had a private bathroom. Phew, we did! We toured the town shoppes the next day before we left for Lexington and the last day of our honeymoon.

No, I don't think there is. You just invite them, using whatever form of invitation you're using for everyone else (anything from email, letter or a telephone call for an informal reception to an engraved invitation for something more formal), and let them decide whether they'll attend. (Just make sure that the invitations aren't to a wedding reception, because this isn't one. It's a reception in honor of a newly-married couple, which is a time-honored tradition.)

Your instincts are bothering you for a reason Gerina -- STBDH's plan is a LOUSY one. He's being a ChickenS#!t and taking the coward's way out, and his daughters will be hurt and angry about it for a long, long, long time. And if they don't blame him, they'll blame you -- most likely YOU. And that's why his insistance that this is his decision to make is baloney. You will get blamed for hurting his daughters and it will affect their relationship with YOU far more than it will affect their relationship with him. And that makes it your business. I can see why he wouldn't want to tell the Ex in advance. It's still CS, but at a tolerable level. Not telling his own daughters is intolerable CS. What about having him tell his daughters the day before you leave, but ask that they not tell their mother because everyone knows it will upset her. Maybe have a note to Ex already written out, and tell the daughters you will be dropping it in the mail on the way to the airport so Ex will be told -- They don't need to feel they have to do it. I like the idea of asking them to help plan a celebration when you get back -- But is the celebration they will plan the kind of celebration you would want?