Marriage Contracts

15 years ago

What the heck...!!!

I just heard a blurb on CNN that there is a proposal for dropping, "Until death do us part", from the marriage vows. Supposedly it will be replace by a 5yr contract. I know that marriage has legal ramifications - protecting the Parties' legal and property rights. But I think this is going too far. Of course I don't have all the details and won't pass judgement until I hear the entire story, but OMG, why bother getting married. Just invoke common law in all states and go with that. Sorry, but this is one soapbox I'll find it hard to get off. Marriage is a sacred union and making an official contract kind of wipes away the reason for getting married - you love someone and want to stay with that person for life. Otherwise, again, why bother. Just change the laws regarding property, etc.

I guess that is what they are thinking, but I just don't get it.

gneegirl

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Comments (9)

stargazzer
15 years ago
I was told by my lawyer that marriage is a legal contract and you have to support each other financially. When you marry if the new spouse owes bills you have to pay them or ruin your credit. Maybe the 5 year contract would end some of that. I don't believe if I marry and he owes big bucks that I should have to pay them but I would have to. One of the reasons I will never marry again is financial. I paid almost a year for my husband's care home at $4,000. plus each month. I didn't resent it at all, he earned it. If I marry again I could be in the same situation.
monica_pa Grieves
15 years ago
Marriage is a legal contract, bound by the laws of the state which issued the license. Although the ceremony where the two people make promises to each other can be performed within a religious rite...the laws of that religion are not a part of the legal contract, and have no standing in a court of law.

So, while a couple may say "till death do us part", that phrase is not legally binding.

BTW - I was married in the mid 1960's, when a bride's vows included the phrase "love, honor and obey". When the vows were said, I simply omitted the word "obey".
My marriage was still legal.
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gneegirl
Original Author
15 years ago
I hear ya, Stargazzer. I agree, the marriage licence is a legal document that provides for rights and priveledges. But with a five-year contract, do you have to re-do the contract every five years? What if you miss the deadline to re-new it? I'm sure there would be a fee to pay - suppose you don't have the money at the time? Then does your marriage go away, and you lose your rights? If so, would you then be divorced? I can only imagine the paperwork that would have to be taken care of, if you forget - by the courts as well as each Party in the marriage. What about the kids - my parents are divorced because my Mom (or Dad) forgot to send away the paper-work. Which parent would they be upset with, for forgetting? I think we got a ways to go on this one.

The financial implications that go along with marriage are rediculous in some cases. I know women that are paying child-support to their husband's ex-wife and kids. Yes, some of their money is spent on the husband for family things, but it is so unfair that her money has to go towards the ex. In some states, if the husband is in arrears, the new wife would loose her job, or couldn't get one, because money is owed to the state. Of course you should know the obligation before marriage. But then what's your choice - end the relationship and/or fall in love with someone else? That would be happening an awful lot these days. Stop - before we go any further, do you owe child support. If so, no relationship. Is that "no romance without finance"?

Again, lot's of stuff to consider before going full-scale with this one. I did just hear that it would (could) be at the couple's discretion. So at least there is a choice.
gneegirl
Original Author
15 years ago
Ooooh, that word "obey" - OUCH! Congrats for taking that step.
joyfulguy
15 years ago
Come, now, girls ...

... it shouldn't be too hard to "obey" an old fart like me, who's been mellowed by the years?

If "obey" sticks in Your craw ... how aBOUT, "REVERE"? Darn - that "Caps lock" key got hit again ... seems to happen when I hit an "a".

ole joyful

P.S. Do I have to obey you, too?

What did the old contracts have to say that the husband had to do, in the parallel slot?

o j

P.P.S. I don't think that you'll find the word "obey" often in modern promises - on either side.

still - o j
cynic
15 years ago
"...till death do us part" has also been replaced by "...till irreconcilable differences do us part".

Divorce should be more difficult than it is. Let some people start understanding the ramifications. Of course a vow doesn't mean much to many anymore.
Toni S
15 years ago
gnee girl , I do agree! Having 5 or 10 year contracts seems like it's asking for trouble. I don't know to many marriages where life has been smooth sailing from day one. What if the contract is about to expire at year 10, there are 7 and 5 year old children and Daddy gets a hankering for a fling? He just lets the legal papers go, has his fling, begs for forgiveness, after all they weren't married for three months and the family takes him back for another 10 years. The mental problems alone are enough to make a family a mess.
No, I think its stupid. Why get married at all.
stargazzer
15 years ago
It's not a word for word contract, it's just financially and that is not even mentioned in the marriage vows.
dilly_dally
15 years ago
"Of course I don't have all the details and won't pass judgement until I hear the entire story."

I think people here are confusing *marriage* with *wedding*.

The wedding vows that are said by the couple are, and always have been, written by the couple or the officiant. Often times traditional religious vows are chosen to be said at the wedding. Sometimes the couple writes a poem to each other. It can be anything.

The marriage license is just that....... a license contracted with the state in which you reside, that changes your legal status. This is entirely separate from any "vows" that the couple decide to make to each other in their backyard or church setting.

And yes, there has been talk over the last few decades, of making legal marriage contracts renewable, or offering an alternative to the traditional marriage contract with a renewable legal union that does not convey property rights. This is an entirely separate issue from what one chooses to say in their wedding vows. You can say anything in your wedding vows and it will not supersede the state laws governing the marriage contract.

Here is a short article and there are more if you Google:

Here is a link that might be useful: Fox News - Vows

Marriage Contracts

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Marriage Contracts

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