When I worked at the greenhouse, I was invited to the christening of a co-worker's child. They are immigrants, and speak almost no English, and I speak very little Spanish. Unfortunately, I knew I would be unable to attend. Still, it was an honor to have been invited, (they threw a huge party) and I wanted to acknowledge such an important event for the parents, who are devout Catholic. Having been raised a foot washing Baptist, I didn't know if this was like a baby shower with a religious ceremony, or what exactly was considered proper. I asked around and was told that a token gift (like a Bible or a saint's medal) is considered appropriate. But I figured people closer to the family would bring those gifts, so I bought some scrapbooking baby things and decorated a blank card. I also decorated a plain white gift bag and wraped three things in tissue paper; a coin, a candle, and a small stone. On the card, I explained the gifts this way: "Along with my good wishes on your special day, I give you three things; A coin, that you may never be poor. A candle, that you may always have the light of love in your life. And a stone, that as you grow up to be a good man that your faith will be like a rock."

A dedication, in the church to which I belong (American Baptist), is exactly as said, above, by caroline1947 and a couple others. We dedicate infants, meaning that the parents dedicate the child to God and vow to raise him/her in a Christian home, etc., etc. We practice "believer's Baptism", meaning that when a person understands what Baptism is and means, and believes, and can, on their own, commit to it, they do the study and ceremony. herefore, "believer's Baptism". That "typically" occurs in the early to mid teen years, but I've seen it all the way up into 60s and 70s, even from some people who were Baptised in a different religion as an infant but wanted to recommit based upon their own beliefs. I agree - for us, anyway, a baptism and dedication are absolutely not the same thing. I was dedicated as an infant. My brother was dedicated the same day, but he was 5 years old. My parents hadn't had him dedicated prior to that because they hadn't been associated with a church. So we were "done" the same day :-). I was Baptised on Easter Sunday - I think I was 13. I don't remember when my brother was Baptised, but I'm sure it was somewhere between 13 & 15. Sounds like there are a whole lot of similarities and differences in how the various Christian religions do things. As far as I'm concerned, no rights or wrongs - just different ways of accomplishing the same thing (pretty much). And no, despite a zillion (or so) dedications that I've witnessed, I've never seen a special card, and typically not an occasion for a gift. It would be very appropriate, though, to send a nice note. Suzieque

Not sure why this is in the "Marriage" forum, as it's not really about your marriage, but anyway. IMO you have some justified complaints and some not, and some issues that could have been handled way better. Who cares whether your Mom made a good/bad decision to move? It's disappointing she seemed more excited about that than about your impending marriage, but then you knew you aren't high on her priority list. So, just blow it off as more of the same way it's always been. Paying for the rehearsal dinner? Your fiancee (note spelling for female person) should never have got into any sort of discussion let alone fight with your mother regarding this. Demanding that someone host an event for you, whether you think it's traditional or not, is beyond rude. If your mother had been disinclined to pay, then (as I'm guessing you're supporting yourself and not dependent on your mother) then _you_ and your fiancee should have decided to pay. If your mother felt $2,500 was beyond her means, as the host paying for the dinner, it is her prerogative to have a hotdog cook out in her backyard if she so wishes. If you don't want a guilt trip, short circuit her and pay for it yourself. Why did you pay for ten people who didn't RSVP? You should have set an RSVP date early enough to change the numbers so that if someone isn't coming then you let the caterer know the adjusted figure. And expecting a gift just because you sent an invitation is rude on your part. No one is ever obligated to give a gift. It would have been nice, but not compulsory. In fact, if I was invited to the wedding of someone I didn't know well (as an acquaintance of their mother) I'd probably just send a card with best wishes if anything, as I'd feel it was more of a fishing expedition for gifts rather than a genuine wish to share a happy day with them. Yes, it's rude of your cousin to invite himself to stay at your house, unless you already have that sort of relationship (which it sounds like you don't). Just tell him it isn't convenient. No need to go into reasons, or whine that if he can come for football why not your wedding. It will only engender bad feelings. Even married mothers of four understand and appreciate the concept of "sexy"- how do you think they got to be mothers of four? If your concept of older women is poker-faced ice queens, boy are you in for a rude awakening. I'm not saying they are raunchy sex crazed fiends, but most of us have been around the block a few times and between ourselves have slightly franker conversations than we might with our children. Was your MIL offended?

I really want to thank you all for your help and suggestions - you really motivated me and I'm putting your thoughts to good use! This afternoon I started painting and moving a few things into her room. I choose Meadowbrook by Ace for the walls and immediately fell in love. So much so that I called DH at work to tell him. I snapped a few pics for you to see even though the walls were still wet in some places. While painting I decided that the accent color would definitely be soft pinks and red raspberry shades. Meadowbrook wall paint. I think that the wall color looks wonderful w/ the maple wood furniture and love how it plays w/ the crisp white trim. Meadowbrook is 2 shades darker than Woodlawn (which is my MBR wall color) and is the closest match (w/o colormatching) to F&B's Pale Powder. I am definitley going to do the white IKEA curtains doubled up as someone suggested in their post! I'm going to try matchstick blinds layered underneath to pick up the wood tones in the furniture. Like I said - this room gets blinding light. Do you think that pink and berry accents will work w/ this wall color? After reading some of the thoughts about kids possibly being creeped out by staring owl eyes I went back and looked at the James Brown art and came up w/ some of these prints. Any catch your fancy for the room?: Here is a close up of the bedskirt and the pillows have a small ruffle of the same check for a border.: I found a small old wooden birdcage in the basement that I thought I could spraypaint white or berry and put butterflies and birds in and hang in a corner. Lame? I still really like the 'foresty' idea and thought I could run w/ it in an 'Enchanted Forest' girlie way (not a Harry Potter way). I can get her a white stuffed owl for her bed! Crazy thought - tell me if I'm taking it too far - What about painting the bureau a soft pink or raspberry color? Too much? Oh - and my mom called today to say that she found the sweetest antique childs rocker for $15 that she bought for her!