saccharum: No offense--I am a natural exaggerater, but do my best to restrain myself. As for the copper fungicide's toxicity. I have noted in these forums before my suspicion that it has some toxicity to sapwood if it soaks down inside a tree and gets at it from the inside. I have not reported all the things I have tried with this, but I did try applying this stuff to real extremes, and at what I would call almost ridiculous over applications I suspect some marginal toxicity. One pine tree that I poured this stuff on in amounts I cannot accurately document had a portion of the side of the trunk under the application zone die. But this was a tree that a storm broke half of off, the broken part being about 14 inches in diameter, and where it broke there was a sunken area where I could actually pool this stuff. But in my experience, the part of the trunk under this really huge broken area may have died anyway. In another instance where I applied it very, very liberally I noticed some bleeding beneath the cut, which was a cut to remove half of a forked tree and the cut was about 5 inches across. I did this experimental overapplication on this tree, a Norway spruce, because it was a weak tree growing in the shade of other spruces and a white pine. A stronger tree growing in full sun may not have shown the same symptom. The tree, however, is still alive and has not shown any loss of vigor. It is in substantial shade but is "plugging along" nicely considering that. Both of these instances were cases where the cut or the break was across the grain and the cut or break faced upwards and absorbed all the rain that fell also. I noticed no other instance of anything I would suspect was a toxic effect, and for a while--until I learned better, I applied more than needed. So I think it is in all probability safe. As for research--I have been talking to people for at least 20 years in several universities trying to get someone interested, but no luck so far. This liquid copper fungicide is the third thing I tried--it seemed obvious very soon that it was working, so I have tried nothing else since. But of course there are other things one could try. Part of my reason for trying this liquid copper fungicide is that it was my understanding that the copper itself was the active agent, and I thought that the copper would have some stability in the outdoor environment and would not break down so fast as other fungicidal compounds. Also, it is my understanding that the "liquid" copper fungicide is, in fact, a true liquid solution, and as such it would soak into the wood in a way that a wettable powder would not. A great many trees get fungal infections through injuries to the trunk or from pruning cuts made to remove very large limbs. It pains me to see this and I am convinced (I understand research needs to be done, if only to convince others) that it can be easily prevented. Many of the trees are trees loved by their owners, and in many cases these trees have a monetary value that would exceed several thousands of dollars. What a waste! Oh, I must note--even though I admit to a frequent tendency to exaggerate, I am not exaggerating about the ability of this liquid copper fungicide to stop fungal infections. Just to be clear--over the last 20 years, I have probably used this stuff on 200 trees. About 60 or 70 of these were spruce and pine trees (Norway spruce, white pine, red pine) that were forked. I cut half the fork off, leaving big ugly cuts, mostly sloping, but not always. Some of these cuts were at least 6" across. Many took 10 to 15 years to occlude, and some, after 20 years have not yet occluded. I have seen no evidence that I could recognize of any fungal infection whatsoever. And the wood at the surface of these cuts is as fresh and hard as a board in a lumber yard. I am not exaggerating this one tiny, tiny bit. I have also used this stuff on logging bumps and scrapes, some really huge, on various species of hardwood trees and hemlock, and as I reported above--no trace of fungal infection that I could detect. I have tried to renew this stuff every year--in some cases I missed a year or two, especially on the logging wounds which require a lot of walking to get to every year. One thing I would like research to show is how often it is necessary to reapply this stuff. I have wanted to be on the safe side, hence my reapplication every year, as far as I have had time and energy. Getting to all the treated trees over the 300 acres I have is a four day job, and an exhausting one at that. --Spruce

IMO, your father is playing both of you like a fiddle. As long as each of you are complaining about the other one, all focus is off of him. Brilliant! Golddust.. I agree. I've started replying 3 times and deleted all of them. I think there's more to the story & doubt it's just the girlfriend. Reading her letter, she probably thinks she's helping her man. Danielle, the best advice I can give you is to try to understand where she is coming from; but don't let her walk all over you. This is a very touchy situation; you know what your dad was like when you were growing up & she came into the picture after he was out of his "unhappy" marriage. While he's probably told her his side; she's never going to know what really happened because she wasn't there and IMO.. she needs to respect your feelings & how hurt you were by him but try to respect her for trying to be there for your dad now. I have issues with my step son. He likes to go back to his father & say that I said this or I said that. When my hubby fell off of his truck I sent him an email because he stopped speaking to my hub & wouldn't you know it, he twisted my email around trying to start a fight between my hub & I. Thankfully my hub knew about the email before I sent it; it was a rude awakening to my hub of just what his son would do to get me out of the picture. This is all in SS's head, not mine because I can be grown up about it & smile like nothing ever happened but he can't. The best advice I can give you is to try to have a relationship with your dad without the GF around every time. You still need father/daughter time. I encourage hub to call his son or go golfing with him because even though we can't see eye to eye, it's still his son. My hub does not talk about me when they are together & if the kid starts, he says it's between you 2 and not me. SS's mother was an alcoholic - probably why he hates me so much because we have the life he never had growing up & his father has been raising my 2 kids for the last 10 years.. so he's bitter; but he's also an adult man in his 30's & a divorced father. I don't feel that the GF was trying to place "blame" on any of the kids for the marriage/drinking problems, I read it as her just stating why he was drinking. My dad stayed in a bad marriage because "It was cheaper to keep her" & we kids suffered with the fighting. Dad was not around most times, he chose to work as much as he could.

Well slept on the couch last night ( what a joy) after yet another arguement about S.D. with my wife. This last week has been filled with the same crap different day. So heres the scenerio. My wife and I work differing shifts most of the time, so I end up spending most of the time with my S.d. After school and evenings, my wife works mainly 4 - midnight shifts. Last week was more of just the same, my s.d talking to me anyway she feels like it ( totally no respect ) and a week of mainly all out battles between us. Yesterday, i argued with her for 4 hours trying to get her to clean her room, when i can't see the floor and there are dirty dishes in there, its time for her to clean it, finally i just gave up told her to do whatever she wants, live like a pig, i'm beyond caring, and i stopped talking to her for the day. Now over the week she had lost her computer time, phone time and tv time for lying to us about her school homework ( telling us it was all done, after parent teacher confrence we found out she had not been doing any of it ) she ended up grounded. Anyways, wife comes home, s.d comes out of room, talking as sweet as ever, Oh hi daddy blah blah blah, i just said uh huh. after an hour, i went in the computer room, there my wife on her computer and my s.d on my computer. I said um excuse me your not allowed on the computer and after a day like we had, dont' expect to be on there for a long time. Well that was a mistake, wife turns around says she's doing her homework, and I just laughed, shook my head and walked out. next thing i know my wife is yelling at me cause i'm not allowing s.d. to do her homework, and i told her what kind of day we had and it didn't matter. I told her once again that she has NO idea wht i put up with on a daily basis, my son 16 years old pipes up, ummm ( wifes name ) she talks to dad with totally no respect when your not here, wife tells son to shut up that he treats s.d with no respect either, to which i replied, well when she learns to talk to people with respect, maybe she'd get some back. Suddenly wife yells she has had enough and her and the s.d are leaving ( moving out ) So i decided to sleep on the couch. So now what??? Been thinking about it most of the night, personally i think it might be a relief to all concerend it it happened. Much as I love my wife, and I know she loves me, we can't continue like this. I know i will never accept anyone talking to me like my s.d does, and if my son was talking to my wife that way, well lets just say son would be very bored for the next two months. My wife says, well your the adult, my s.d says you can't do anything to me cause mom will just move out. HELPPPPPPPPPPPP. I'm so tired of being stressed, i think everyone is, is there any solutuiont o this, or am I just wasting my time in something that is never going to change.

Jan Moyer, thank you! Tems, I can't speak for others, but I've only had recessed lighting (in our now demolished kitchen) and would never consider not replacing it. I need a bright kitchen. Recessed lights help illuminate the floor/walkway, as well as add light to the countertops. I'd noticed mine did cause a slight shadow in the front, but not so detrimental to my cooking. However, the addition of 2700 LED's will now (hopefully) remove that, and further brighten my future workspace. I do not find them to be harsh or busy, but again, for the kitchen (and utility/laundry room) I need 'brightness'. Are you suggesting only undercabinet lights, and pendants or a center light in a kitchen? I want to see in my cabinets, my counter tops, my sinks, see where I'm walking, see my entire kitchen. Without the recessed lights, I'd have a dark kitchen.