skip to main content

The Kitchen Table

Would you consider yourself independent?

15 years ago

Would you consider yourself independent?

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (27)

ronf_gw
15 years ago
Yes. If you need a helping hand look at the end of your sleeve.

Ron
wildchild
15 years ago
Yep. I march to my own drummer. Always have,always will.
Related Discussions
Do you consider yourself a light packer?
Q
Comments (58)
I seldom get cold, I can sleep through the nightly train that runs through town at 2 am two blocks away and the light doesn't bother me either. I'm short, so the bed is always long enough, but my big travel issue is the bed. I swear that every time I book a motel they quickly arrange to send the same lousy hard bed. I doubt that I can pack a mattress, LOL. Of course, I still sleep on my old king sized waterbed, leftover from my "hippie" days. Elery says when I grow up, I'll get a big girl bed, LOL. I hope not. Clare, on another level, I wat taking some glass to recycle last week and there was a broken picture frame in the bag. Of course, the shard stuck through the bag and into the outside of my left knee. Not one bandaid or other thing in the Jeep except black electrical tape. So, I pulled both edges of the puncture together and taped it with black electrical tape and then drove to the Emergency Room. They know me on a first name basis, LOL, and now they'll talk about that black electrical tape forever. Two stitches later that electrical tape stayed on better than their surgical tape! Carol (dishesdone) tells me that's an "electrician's bandaid". Annie
...See More
Do you consider yourself middle class?
Q
Comments (91)
Palimpset your comment bears repeating: All honest work is valuable. Too often people are made to feel less because they haven't achieved a certain degree or class of greatness so they pursue education in a field that's not a good fit. We need a blend of people to make this country work. I have a son (and DIL) with an advanced degree from an ivy league school (currently drumming up business for his start-up in the Philippines and Singapore). I have a daughter (and SIL) who graduated from a top tier law school working for a highly ranked firm in NYC. Our youngest son has a degree in diversified agriculture and returned to work at our family farm. All are good in their respective chosen fields. I don't consider any less valuable than the other. I'll add that none of them have student loans because they all worked and saved while growing up and attending college. They got no student aid but we were able to help them. We sacrificed a lot when they were little to get to that point. Due to their careers, locations and connections we have been able to meet people from all levels of backgrounds: Wall Street execs, Supreme Court Justices, administrators at international schools, etc. When we initially meet and indicate our primary occupation is farming, there's a micro-expression (facial expression) that immediately reveals a surprised reaction. We're not fancy, but we do clean up. In addition to farming we're also involved in numerous other business interests such as banking and start-up companies (involving patents). When the discussion goes that direction, their reactions change. But we take pride in our farming. So, while Palimpset said she is "probably elitist and a snob", I will say that I am probably defensive toward those who are involved in occupations involving lower class and manual labor workers. They provide a huge contribution to society. Go a day or week without garbage pickup, plumbing, car repair, food to eat or snow removal and the value of a manual laborer becomes very apparent. Anyone familiar with today's agriculture environment, the technology involved and the costs of equipment, land, inputs, etc. knows that it takes curiosity to learn, determination to work hard and a high degree of risk tolerance to thrive. Having a regular career or job would be so much different.
...See More
Would you hold an estate sale yourself or hire a company? Why?
Q
Comments (22)
Thirteen years ago my mother suddenly died and I was left with a 3,000 square foot house that she had inherited from her parents. It was absolutely loaded with very fine furniture and every conceivable antique, valuables, paintings, clothing, jewelry, etc. Here's how I handled it. The local estate sale pro came and told me she would do the sale for 25% of the gross. I decided against giving up control over pricing and giving such a big "cut" to that woman. I had a cousin who is very familiar with estate sales, so I asked her to help me. It took me 7 weeks, working 10+ hours a day, 7 days a week, to organize for the sale. The cousin helped me for about 20 hours during that period, she was key because I had no idea how to price things. She had these thick books about antiques that helped us with pricing. My brother and I chose all the furniture and items we wanted to keep and we put these in bedrooms, which were off-limits to people coming into the house. We started with local used furniture and antique dealers, who were invited to come to the house to buy - that took several days. We then had a word-of-mouth estate sale every day for a week, then advertised in the local paper for another week. Finally, we had garage sale type items left and we conducted that sale on a weekend. The following week I had the movers come and pack shipments to the 2 cities where my brother and I live. I donated the remainder of the items, keeping careful records for the tax writeoff. The proceeds from the sales were $18,000, moving costs were $6,000, so we were very successful. I gave several valuable items to my helpful cousin (worth $1,000 at least and they were sentimental things that she wanted and chose) and I paid her $700 for her help. I also gave some items to my mother's friends, they chose items they wanted. I always had at least two people present during the estate sale days and we watched people like hawks. We had no theft, but we only let a few people in the house at a time and they were confined to the living and dining rooms. I had more help for the garage sale days and those were the most stressful, but by then there weren't any especially valuable items left to steal. Final thoughts would be that, if you do the sale yourself, sorting things out will take more time than you think. Unless you know how to price things, you will be at a real disadvantage. Mark every single item with a price and put signage on anything "not for sale." You can phone local used furniture stores and antique dealers to give them "first pick." Make sure you have 1-2 other people in the house to help, watch the people who come to make sure they don't switch tags or pocket small items. Good luck with your decision and the task ahead.
...See More
Would you consider yourself attractive?
Q
Comments (59)
If a person (mainly female, perhaps) is beautiful at 16 ... not much credit to her. If s/he is beautiful at 60 ... s/he had much more of a hand in that result. I feel somewhat sad that so many of you feel rather substantially displeased with yourselves ... though, as some say, perhaps it's being rather realistic. I'm much more interested in what a person's emotional makeup, knowledge, interests, outlook on life, concern for others and psyche are like that what appears on their face or body. If you don't love yourself ... it's pretty hard to be able to love others very effectively. ole joyful
...See More
OklaMoni
15 years ago
in my case, if I do need a helping hand, I look for my husband. But overall, I consider myself very indepent
phyllis__mn
15 years ago
I have always been so, but now I have a bum knee and everything is harder to do. So I don't do it!!
Granlan_TX
15 years ago
Yes, yet when I've had to depend on others for help, I've been grateful.

I've lived alone for the majority of my life and prefer my independence.
monica_pa Grieves
15 years ago
Yes...extremely.
Like wildchild, I often parade to an "alternate tympanist".
paula_pa
15 years ago
Hell yeah. I've mostly had to depend on myself. I have a great family (well mostly one sister and BIL) who has certainly helped me out but I've never been one to ask for help. I left home for college and basically never came back.

Coincidentally, at my dad's birthday party, I was talking with my mom, BIL and a couple of other people and my mom brought up the time I called her when I was locked out of my apartment (hours away) and she said 'what the heck was I going to do about it? and then she brought up the time I called her because I was having money problems (once!),again she said, 'what the heck was I going to do?'.

I don't often get mad at my mother but I was really PO'd. I called her twice for sympathy in almost 40 years (and both these instances were 15-20 years ago) Geez, how does she ever put up with me? No wonder I've always preferred to make my own way.
sharon_fl
15 years ago
You bet I am, however as a wise old friend once told me..Sharon-you are "independently dependent", and she was always right.
Marilyn Sue McClintock
15 years ago
I thought about this a bit before I posted and I have come to the conclusion that I am a kept woman.

Sue
glenda_al
15 years ago
VERY MUCH SO!!!!
sarahbellum
15 years ago
I was also "very much so" as glenda puts it -- until I got pregnant, quit my job and got married 23 yrs. ago. Now I am not! As marilyn sue says, "I am a kept woman". I have to rely on hubby for money.
I am however, still a free thinker. LOL.
caflowerluver
15 years ago
I try really hard to be and can be when I want to. DH and I are a team and are very independent from the rest of our families. We have NEVER asked them for help, but got where we are on our own. We were both pretty independent before we met too. That is why DH and I can but heads.
Clare
stephanie_in_ga
15 years ago
Like Moni, other than DH, yes I am. We rely on each other, though. I have not had an independent income for many years as I stayed home with the kids. However, he would not eat without me. ;o) But as far as my spirit- I gotta do my own thing.
golfergrrl
15 years ago
Yes, I am and always have been independant.
slcsusan
15 years ago
Yes, I am independant in that I think for myself and cope with most of what happens in life. But I am grateful that I have a great husband, loving daughters and grandchildren and a circle of friends that I can always count on. I think I have the best of both worlds!
Susan
jannie
15 years ago
All my life, I've done things for myself. I'm married but don't expect my DH to do things for me all the time. I got my first job at 17 and worked every week since up to 2005, when I got too sick to work.
linda_in_iowa
15 years ago
Yes. It is a family trait. My mom and her mom were both independent. I come from strong German stock.
barbara3
15 years ago
Yes, very much so. We were brought up to be independent from an early age. I don't like relying on others because the few times that I did, I was very disappointed in the result. So I have learned to my chagrin that the one person I can truly rely on is me.
mylab123
15 years ago
I honestly don't know. I certainly *think* I am but should my husband die, the truth of it would out, wouldn't it. I could very well be in for a big mirror in front of my face to see what I never did see before.

But, I do think I am.
beth_in_ia
15 years ago
Yep - always have been and probably always will be.
kayjones
15 years ago
Until my husband died 2 years ago, I could get help any time - we worked as a team. Since his death, I have learned to do most everything for myself. I am not afraid to ask for help if I need it, but most of the time I can figure things out on my own. It has amazed me how much I can do if I set my mind to it. I still can't move a mountain, though - I have to ask for help from above for that.

I have always been an independent thinker, doing what I thought was best for me and my family.
kathi_mdgd
15 years ago
Yes and no!! I was very independent until a year ago this month(May).Then i had to have my knee replaced,and as i was recovering from that was when i found out i had breast cancer,so had to go thru another surgery,and all the stuff leading up to it,then chemo.I'm still in recovery mode so dh does practically everything.There until about 2 weeks ago he did do everything.

He had to get me in and out of bed,the shower,help me dress,as well as keeping up the house and running me back and forth to the dr's etc.

I had a hard time dealing with losing my independence,and felt guilty at times.But he assured me there was no reason for that.I think this has been a good experience for us both in some ways.
Kathi
jel48
15 years ago
Extremely!
joann23456
15 years ago
I'm very independent, and I don't think it's a particularly good thing. I mean, I like that I can take care of myself and that I'm not helpless, but I think interdependence is a better goal than independence. Independence, in my experience, often comes from fear or disillusionment. "The only one you can really rely on is yourself," and all that.

I went through years of serious illness where I was close to death several times, and I was appalled at how difficult it was for me to rely on other people when I needed to. Independence and pride can be such a barrier to connection and intimacy. I'm working at it, though.
Cherryfizz
15 years ago
Too much so that I rarely ask for help even when I could really use it.

Anne
susan_on
15 years ago
Well, I'm independent-minded, and I do what I want, but I have to admit that I am indulged by my DH. He does a lot of work around here, and he supports me in living life the way I want to live it. He relies on me for some things too.
sue_va
15 years ago
Definitely. As Ron said, the best place to look for help is at the end of your sleeve. I learned that ver-batim from my DF.

Before my DH died there was always help at hand if I needed it, but I did a lot of things by myself, such as tearing out a pantry and turning it into a laundry room. Those kinds of things.

Since I've bee alone I have had 4 surgeries: Gall stones, two knee replacements, colon surgery and cataract surgery. In each case I have stayed alone recovering. I knew I could take care of myself, plus having someone else around all the time would have been very tiring. Each time my friends thought I was a little crazy; everybody I know has always had help. I did fine.

Also I will repay anytime my DD or DGD picks up something for me if they are coming this way. I write them a check to the penny.

Never was a clinging vine.

Sue

Related Stories

HOUSEKEEPING Another Independence Day: When Kids Can Do Their Laundry

By Alison Hodgson

Set yourself free and give your child a valuable life skill at the same time

BATHROOM DESIGN Lovely Little Luxuries: Pamper Yourself With Towel Warmers

By Sheridan Interiors, Kitchens and Baths

Heat your robes, dry delicates and wet mittens — with these warmers around, toasty treats go beyond just towels

POOLS We Can Dream: 7 Things to Consider Before Investing in an Outdoor Spa

By Steve Taylor

Check out these tips and tricks for adding a luxurious outdoor spa to your landscape

LIFE Have the Kids Left Home? 16 Things to Consider

By Mitchell Parker

‘An empty nest is not an empty heart’ and other wisdom for when the household changes

BATHROOM DESIGN 10 Things to Consider Before Remodeling Your Bathroom

By Affecting Spaces Design Studio

A designer shares her tips for your bathroom renovation

BATHROOM DESIGN 12 Things to Consider for Your Bathroom Remodel

By Bud Dietrich, AIA

Maybe a tub doesn’t float your boat, but having no threshold is a no-brainer. These points to ponder will help you plan

GREAT HOME PROJECTS Considering Wallpaper? Here's How to Get Started

New project for a new year: Give your room a whole new look with the color, pattern and texture of a wall covering

REMODELING GUIDES 13 Essential Questions to Ask Yourself Before Tackling a Renovation

By Affecting Spaces Design Studio

No one knows you better than yourself, so to get the remodel you truly want, consider these questions first

BUDGET DECORATING Simple Pleasures: Treat Yourself to Cut Flowers

By Laura Gaskill

Enjoy priceless beauty with just a few inexpensive stems — and you don’t need fancy vases, either

MOST POPULAR 8 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Meeting With Your Designer

By Kelli Kaufer Designs

Thinking in advance about how you use your space will get your first design consultation off to its best start

Sponsored

More Discussions

Quit Smoking Support

36

Hope everyone in areas where severe weather is forecasted

11

I'll show you mine/you show me yours - F 5/10/24

22

Friday/Weekend Quiz

5

Weekend Music Thread (FNM) Mothers Day

13