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bumblebeezgw

Why Do You Cook?

Let's get philosophical for a little while; my brain is on overdrive, possibly do to buying a Southern Living Holiday mag yesterday and realizing how most people cook- they use packaged ingredients with aplomb.

I cook simply because I like to : eat what I want, know what's in what I eat, convenience (I "stay" at home), and half the time, it tastes better. Not always!

And it certainly isn't much cheaper.

Hardly anyone I know cooks.

Comments (52)

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    There are 6 of us around the dinner table at least 5 nights a week, and although grocery costs have certainly risen lately, it is still less expensive to cook at home for that many people.

    Weeknights I get home just as dinner is being put on the table (bless my DH) and going out for dinner is the LAST thing I want to do. I want to take off my shoes and relax and play with the baby. With travel time to and from a restaurant and wait time for the food, that makes it a short wait for bedtime.

    I don't mind eating at a restaurant on weekends, but as you said, homecooking usually tastes better anyway.

    I only have time to do the cooking myself on the weekends, and I try to be adventurous and do "special" things, because that is another way I can show my family how much I care about them.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I wish I had friends who cooked, Lars. They are convivial, lovely people to be around, but cooks, not.
    It is spiritual, DC. So much love goes into a meal, sometimes I feel like Babette.

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  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I enjoy cooking but I don't cook as much anymore. When you're cooking for yourself, it's often cheaper not to cook from scratch. I don't have much freezer space and I get tired of the same thing day after day so making larger quantities is difficult. I also waste a LOT. I buy things that look good but then I don't want them later, or I'm too tired to want to fix a meal. Plus I'm more prone to whims when I don't have to worry about feeding a family nutritious food, so I have a bad habit of deciding what I want to eat when I'm driving home regardless of whether I have the ingredients or not! Which usually equates to take out...

    I think if I didn't have to work 10-12 hour days I would feel a little more energetic towards cooking at night! By the time I get home, I'm beat. I find most people who cook a lot are the ones who have a little more free time. Not everyone (I know there are VERY busy people on this forum!) but it seems to be a common trait, which makes sense. It takes time to find recipes, menu plan, shop for groceries, prep, cook and then clean up. When facing all that, I usually choose picking up a $3 salad from Trader Joe's, lol.

    I do agree that it's cheaper to cook when you have a larger family. Even my $5 dinners would really add up with 6 people.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I have come to the conclusion that I cook because I love my family and what to be sure they are getting the freshest and most healthful ingredients (even if 13yo picky-one sometimes ignores what I have made and opts for plain Cheerios - whatever) because I am concerned about what they are ingesting. I also love to cook because it is a form of therapy for me... I get to immerse myself in creating something wonderful that others will enjoy.

    I have recently adopted a new philosophy (which goes along with losing 20 lbs) that "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels". I am still working towards "thin" but I will let you know if it is true when I get there!

    Alexa

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I cook because I like to eat and can't stand any take out that is available in town....
    And I like to please people. Tehr is nothing quite so soul satisfying as that "umm...um".... sound that people make when they are eating something delicious. I don't even need to hear" this is good"....but just that um umm does it for me.
    And I can't stand the taste of the junk in prepeard food....preservatives etc.
    But I guess that comes back to I cook because I like to eat.
    Linda C

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I actually enjoy cooking as much as I love eating good food. So the two go hand in hand. I also love cooking for a husband that enjoys eating and appreciates good food. Heck I even enjoy grocery shopping. Because I prefer fresh cooked meals over pulled from the freezer or leftovers, I tend to cook every day and I tend to shop on an almost daily basis. On the days I work, I shop on the way to work and pick up necessary ingredients. If I have thought far enough a head, I might pick up something for the next day that I can get started before leaving for work. Like a pot roast or meat for a stew or meatballs, meatloaf, etc...

    I enjoy spending time in the kitchen after I get home from work. I'm usually home by 5:30 and we usually eat around 7:00. This is the time we normally eat even on days that I'm not working.

    Ann

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I like to cook. I spend 10-12 hours at work Mon-Fri, so have absolutely no desire to go out when I finally get home. But I do cook every day all my life (my husband can't cook at all). My daughter can cook, but she mostly only gets involved during preparations of holiday meals. So my reasons for home cooking: little free time, love home food more, love feeding other people and see them enjoying my dishes, love experiment with food, have intolerance to some ingredients (corn syrup, food dies, some preservatives)
    Olga

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I like to eat and I cook better than most anywhere we can pick up a reasonably priced meal out. That said, I'm getting older and I'm getting tired of the grind in the kitchen, particularly the cleaning up part of it. My husband does nothing to help. I'm trying to cook so that we can eat from one meal for several days. And I'm using the slow cooker more, even though I'm home now and not working. I have better things to do than stand over the stove lol.

    seagrass

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I cook because I love good food, good food that is tasty and healthy. I like to consume as many fresh and local foods as possible, I even can in the summer and fall so that I have my local foods when the growing season is over. I enjoy cooking in the comfort of my own kitchen and enjoy the foods I cook.

    We eat out occasionally but I am almost always disappointed. So many restaurants rely on food service ready to heat and eat foods from suppliers that it begins to all taste the same. I won't go into wondering where those foods come from...

    We also have some very nice upscale restaurants in my area and we do enjoy an evening out but I can cook as well or better. I find I am usually disappointed and would rather spend the $100. to $200. on good groceries....unless we are going out with friends and just want to think of it as a social thing.

    I don't find cooking for one or two to be that difficult, most recipes are easy to cut down and for my favorites I don't even use a recipe.

    Nancy

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I like to cook because I like to eat, unless I'm really sick or tired. Lately I find myself eating less in the evening and a little later than usual because I need to take a little nap/lay down before I start thinking about dinner.

    Most of my family loves good food and family dinners. I've even inspired one of my sons to enjoy cooking. I like shopping for bargains and keep a full fridge top freezer and pantry. I'm one who cooks on the fly and I change my mind on a whim. While I like grocery shopping, I do not like the schlepping the bags from the car into the house. Hmmmm.....maybe I should look for a nice man to do that for me???

    Teresa

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    For me it is an artistic outlet. Love to prepare beautiful, healthful, tasty food...as well as look for recipes (which is almost like a treasure hunt), combining textures and colors on the plate/table and serve it to people who appreciate the effort. I have a 2 year old grandbaby whose parents don't cook at all so he only gets processed junk. I'm now on a mission to help develop his taste buds for real food before they ruin him completely, lol.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I find cooking fun and interesting. Trying different cuisines and methods, exploring the various parts of a cow, conquering odious vegetables, it is all entertaining. So much interesting culture and history that goes with the world's foods.

    The more time I spend cooking, the less I ultimately eat and that helps me lose weight. Plus I could cook healthy, lower calorie things, if I ever chose to do so.

    Cooking is a very affordable hobby. Not that groceries are free at all, but considering that you have to buy food in some form, the extra cost of having fun with food is minimal or even a net savings.

    Dinner parties are lots more fun than cramming twelve of your friends into a cramped restaurant, where you're unable to converse with anyone but your immediate neighbors, and are rewarded with a whopping big bill.

    People who enjoy cooking are often interesting. There is some common language and shared experience and interest. This forum is a great example.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I enjoy reading your responses, the feeling of solidarity, the friendship virtuality.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I love to eat, I love to feed people, and I love to cook. I'm happy I don't have to cook every single day like I used to. I cook when I'm in the mood or when I'm hungry for something or when I want to feed my husband. (Lifelong bachelor until we met and married. He spent 25+ years of his adulthood eating canned soup and pasta, so he doesn't give it a thought if I don't cook, and really appreciates when I do.)

    I finalized my Christmas dinner menu today and worked out the shopping list and timetable so I know when the oven, 'fridge, and ice chests will be in use. (Turkey will thaw in water ice chest--no room in 'fridge--so scheduling was a concern.) Picked up everything at the store today that I will need for the big day except ice and bananas.

    I realize that is part of the satisfaction for me when it comes to entertaining--figuring out how to get it all done with the least amount of stress and last-minute chaos. Refrigerator space will be very limited, so I've even worked out how to minimize it.

    Cooking and baking makes me happy, along with the planning and exploring, and I love knowing I can make whatever I like. Made my first baklava this week. Started making marshmallows a few years ago.

    I don't know too many people who like to cook or bake regularly, but they enjoy doing it for special events.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I like to cook for all of the above reasons, I think.

    I love to garden and can't stand to waste what I've worked so hard to grow, so I cook it or can it to eat later. I like knowing what I'm eating and since my girls were born, I wanted to know exactly what was going into their mouths.

    Like Ann T, I like to cook, I like to shop the grocery stores, I like to find and try new recipes and I like to feedthe people I love something I prepared myself, maybe even grew myself.

    I work full time and I run the farm, but I still like to cook. It's not as much fun to cook just for myself, so when I put in that 10 hour day then fix fence at the farm for a couple more hours until dark and still need to do laundry or clean house or take the recycling, sometimes I opt for the Cheerios too, not because I'm too tired but because I'm just plain out of time.

    I'm also picky, so I cook because I like food prepared a certain way with certain ingredients. I also owned a bar and grille for years and so I know how sub standard ingredients or careless cooking/storage/food preparation techniques can happen. I only go out when I'm hungry for something that's so involved it's easier than cooking it at home.

    Plus, the nearest decent restaurant is 30 miles away, so it's a "destination" if I go out to eat. Even fast food is 15 miles away, my small town has two not particularly good restaurants, a pizza joint and a Subway. So I also cook out of necessity.

    Annie

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I think it's a creative outlet for me, as well as a control issue. I like to experiment and try new things. But with cooking, I also feel very strong and in control. I dare say it might be the one quality that I possess that I'm most confident about.

    I love to eat out, but am often disappointed at many restaurants. Or as my husband would say, "you could have made this better at home."

    I especially like baking because there's something very satisfying about having a single, clean, finished product that you pull from the oven. At my job, I have to manage multiple projects for months, which rarely have a clean completion to them. While, baking is so gratifying because it's a short project with clear cut steps, which when complete, I can admire and enjoy the results.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    First, I enjoy cooking. As someone who is cooking for one, have tried all kinds of prepared/frozen stuff... when I had a good coupon... and just sin't like home made.

    When not cooking for just myself, love feeding people!

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I cook because my DH can't...couldn't boil an egg if his life depended on it! Plus we can't afford to eat out or buy expenso "ready to eat" packaged stuff. Most of what I make is simple(sometimes just sandwiches)but I make a better(and cheaper)pizza than we can get locally. I also like cooking and eating veggies and herbs that I've grown. I love having a stash of roasted sweet peppers in the freezer to add to stuff. Sometimes I like the challenge of going through the cupboards and trying to make something out of(almost)nothing.
    I enjoy baking more than cooking, but after packing on the pounds over the years have had to cut way back on that. Dropped the weight and aim to see it stays that way.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I cook as a creative outlet to a great degree. My own cooking is tastier and healthier than processed food and standard issue restaurant fare. I enjoy cooking for others far more than just for myself, though. Left on my own I will graze for days on a loaf of bread, a block of cheese, and some raw fruit and veggies.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I cook and bake because I have to justify my large cookbook collection; plus I enjoy creating recipes. It's fun with a really good purpose and end result. ;-)

    The neighbors, who love to eat but don't cook, have two trash carts that are heaped with boxes, cans, take-away and delivery containers each week. We have one trash dumpster that has on average 4-6 small recycled plastic bags from stores in the bottom of the trash cart. Preparing whole foods and cooking from scratch makes a huge difference in the amount of waste contributed to the landfill between our two families, both containing 2 adults, and can account for our much lower food costs (we have a $125/month food budget) and a much healthier diet. Which are other benefits and why I cook.

    -Grainlady

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Mainly for more control in what goes into my body. In addition, after hearing/researching/reading about foods in this country and where they come from, I am much more particular about what I buy and prepare. I firmly believe that our overall health is controlled by the foods we consume. By doing my own cooking, I can control what is in the foods I eat and for the most part know where it comes from. I very rarely eat out, And I will NEVER again eat fast foods.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I received a bumper sticker from Penzey's a while back:

    "Love people....Cook them tasty food." Kind of says it all doesn't it?

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Cooking for someone is love in action.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    That's why it hurts when they don't show up for dinner.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Teresa, I got that same bumper sticker!

    Annie

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I cook because to me, it's an adventure. I started learning how to cook before I was in grade school and it was just a part of what had to be done each day, like hanging up laundry or making the beds. Then in the late 1960's, a grocery store sold 16-volume Women's Day Encyclopedia of Cookery and it opened my eyes to different cuisines and cooking techniques. That's when I began to view cooking as an adventure rather than a chore and I still feel that way today.

    The entire process from finding fresh and interesting ingredients through turning them into something tasty and satisfying makes me feel like an artist with a blank canvas in my own kitchen. I've been blessed with a career that took me to many parts of the world to broaden my culinary horizons, opportunities to cook alongside people from different ethnic backgrounds, and a husband who said, "For a meal like that, I'd be happy to do the dishes" after a dinner I made him while we were dating and has continued to do so for 35+ years.

    I never quite got the cooking = love connection but saw it more as a matter of practicality - healthy food for family = better resistance to colds, etc. Both of our girls are great cooks and I remember them having things like an apple pie clinic for their high school friends. It's nice to I know that some of the enjoyment cooking has brought to me over the years by not taking the prepared food route will continue through them after I'm gone.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    "apple pie clinic" - I love it!

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I have that Penzey's sticker on top of my jelly cupboard too!

    I cook, therefore I am! LOL

    In so many ways it's true. Because it makes me happy, allows creativity, fills a sense of responsibility to use fresh, local, healthy ingredients (many I've grown myself).
    I love the self-sufficiency. We have to eat anyway, it's nice to love getting there.

    And, as LindaC said, nothing beats the "ummm mmmmm", especially if it comes from my dearest friend and husband!!
    The rest of the family and friends rate pretty high too.
    :-)

    Deanna

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I also have never gotten the cooking equals love thing.

    Maybe, it's because I had a grandmother who equated her cooking with loving us & she tried her best at getting us to over eat. I can still hear her saying, "Patty, don't you like Grammy's cooking? You've not eaten enough to keep a sparrow alive! I cooked all day because you were coming to visit." She'd pile food on my plate like I was a lumberjack. Problem was...I was six years old. I didn't like to visit her & begged my parents not to have her come to babysit when they went on vacation. I've always eaten a lot but never much at one sitting. Ever since I can remember I've eaten 5-6 times a day but just a little bit. I immediately lose any appetite I've got when confronted with a plate piled high with food so you can't even see the plate. So, no love = cooking for me. I view that attitude as a burden to those I cook for.

    I first got serious with baking trying to help DS with spastic colon problems when he was 6-7 years old. Started with grinding my own grains & that led to development of our food storage program. DS's spastic colon did disappear without any medications although, truthfully, he may have just outgrown the problem, will never know. But, we were committed to the food storage program & had learned how much money it saved us & we ate better. With hundreds of pounds of various grains, dried beans, milk, oil, dried fruits/veggies, etc. in the basement...cooking was necessary.

    For a couple decades, I worked on my bread baking skills. I became a judge for my local Cooperative Extension at fairs. At those fairs, I met other bakers. Friendships developed & exposed me to new/different techniques so my learning continued & I got better at all types of baking. I'm an artist by formal education. Cookie decorating appealed to my inner artist. I could happily spend 30-60 minutes decorating one cookie.

    Savory cooking was fly by the seat of my pants though for years. I intensly disliked watching/listening to Julia. Truthfully, I was the type of young cook who would have really benefited from a Rachael Ray sort of teacher. I didn't mind cooking, was willing to learn, but sure didn't want to spend unnecessary time accomplishing my goal of a good dinner on the table.

    Today, we eat organic wherever possible. That means cooking at home because there aren't many organic restaurants in our area although that is changing more each year. Cost wise, it's more expensive to cook at home. Switching our food storage program over to organic has been challenging but we're almost there. We need one more growing season.

    Thanks to John Hopkins I'm starting to cook a bit more again. For lunch today, I was able to put together a quick lemon/walnut rice pilaff to accompany Dover sole DH had on the grill. We had our main meal at noon because DH had to disconnect the gas range today. It went kapoot & we're having a new Electrolux induction range delivered tomorrow afternoon, or Friday morning. Since DH is and will continue to do most of our cooking going forward the learning curve with induction should be interesting. :)

    I sorta, on some level, consider baking a hobby but savory cooking is just a necessity. Enjoyable but certainly not a hobby. I've become a much better savory cook because of the CF. So, thanks all!

    /tricia

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    It makes me really happy when I make something and someone says, "this is the best _______ I have ever had!".

    I especially like cooking for my family and for my son's friends. Nothing like 15 year-old boys for food appreciation!

    Love this thread,

    Beth P.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    No deep thoughts here. Sure it's cheaper than going out, arguably cheaper than buying prepared foods (depending on what you get) and it can be healthier if you pay attention to what you're doing. But for me the answer is primarily, "Because I like to. It's fun."

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I learned by trial & error and rarely follow a recipe. Never learned anything before I got married.
    We did have an acre garden and raised, pheasants, turkeys, chickens & pigs. Cooking, canning and freezing became a necessity. I much prefer to cook than to bake.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I never cooked until I was in my twenties (that was 35+ years ago). I was away at school, and I was making Hamburger Helper three times a week. I said, there's gotta be something better out there.

    Got a copy of a cookbook that is still my sentimental favorite (The New Orleans Cookbook by Rima & Richard Collin), and started cooking.

    In my younger days I got pretty fancy, but as I get older I find I'm enjoying simple stuff done really well (roast chicken, beef pot roast, etc.)

    One other reason I cook: I find that all restaurants and most people use WAY too much salt. I don't need to cut down on sodium for any health reasons, I just find most food prepared by others too salty to enjoy.

    I do enjoy it from a craftsmanship standpoint. You can make a functional bookcase with plywood and drywall screws, or you can make it to a much higher level of workmanship. And there is the predictability of it. Here's Nora Ephron (screenwriter, novelist):

    "What I love about cooking is that after a hard day, there is something comforting about the fact that if you melt butter and add flour and then hot stock, it will get thick! It's a sure thing in a world where nothing is sure; it has a mathematical certainty in a world where those of us who long for some kind of certainty are forced to settle for crossword puzzles."

    Hope I don't sound like an old f*rt, but what amazes me is how few of the younger generation(s) have any interest at all in cooking. I enjoy it, but just from a financial standpoint you'd need to cook since very few people have the resources to eat out every night.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I cook because it is fun and I want to serve healthy foods to my family. I want to know what goes into the food they eat. We use as little prepared food as possible. There are just too many crappy ingredients in prepared foods. We also like to support local farms and veggie stands. Fresh produce can't be beat for taste.
    And I do it because I love to cook for my family. I think barnmom said it best"Cooking for someone is love in action". Could not agree more. We also have taught our daughters to cook this way also. They are very good cooks in their own right and enjoy cooking. Just wish they liked cleaning up the kitchen after one of their cooking secessions as much as the cooking part! Nancylouise

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I'm not a cook by most of your standards. It is my job to feed my family of four and I am blessed with a husband who will eat anything and be grateful. But I have no background with cooking and I work full time, so I definitely take all the short cuts (Thank God for CostCo and Trader Joe's!) and will do takeout at least once a week.

    When we got married, I would watch Rachel Ray - what she cooked tonight would be tomorrow nights dinner. Hey - it worked! And I actually learned a lot - but not enough - and now I don't even have time to watch Rachel Ray...

    I'm starting a new thread to ask for help... :-)

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I love to cook. I spent 15 years in a high-pressure, high-travel career, and we were constantly eating out. I did a pro-con list when I was considering leaving the firm and going into business for myself. One of the key entries was, I love to cook and never get to do it. Now I do. I cook for the people I love, including me. No matter how much clients drive me crazy, I am in control of my kitchen. My adult son calls when he's leaving work every night and asks, "What's for dinner?" Cooking is nurturing. My sister says about me, "I love to cook and I cook to love." Yes indeed.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I've cooked for my family since I was about 10 years old. It's just what I do, a part of my core being. It's not so much that I love cooking, but I realize I'm miserable if I don't cook for an extended period of time. I feel lost.

    Since I spend much of my work day in front of the computer, I really appreciate digging in the garden and cooking food I grow more and more. It keeps me connected to the physical world. Grounded you might say.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Oh Tricia! Hugs!

    'Maybe, it's because I had a grandmother who equated her cooking with loving us & she tried her best at getting us to over eat. I can still hear her saying, "Patty, don't you like Grammy's cooking? You've not eaten enough to keep a sparrow alive! I cooked all day because you were coming to visit." She'd pile food on my plate like I was a lumberjack. Problem was...I was six years old. I didn't like to visit her & begged my parents not to have her come to babysit when they went on vacation.'

    That's not love, that's emotional blackmail! There is no forced eating at my house. :)

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I plan the meals for the week, do the grocery shopping and cook. To me it's fun. The DW can relax and the kids can see their old man in action.

    As I posted over in another thread, my 15 y/o son wants to learn how to cook and while he can at one of our restaurants, it's the quality time between a father and son at home that makes me enjoy so much.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I don't think I get the "cooking = love" thing, either.

    I cook because it is something that has to be done.
    While I do enjoy trying new dishes,
    and experimenting with old ones,
    (trying to improve them) occasionally,
    I don't do it very often anymore.
    Because I'm the only one of the two of us
    That enjoys eating the results.
    (Well, most of the time the results are enjoyable)
    ;>)
    Now baking is another story altogether!
    I do love to bake!
    It is relaxing and fun.
    It satisfies my desire to be creative.

    And there is never a problem
    as to what to do with the end product!

    Rusty

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    To some degree, the cooking = love thing is based on how we show love.
    A book/ theory I find useful, it's helped me with relationships, is the 5 love languages.
    Ignore the symbols, I'm too lazy to change them all.

    Here's the basics in a nutshell:

    The 5 Love Languages

    What if you could say or do just the right thing guaranteed to make that special someone feel loved? The secret is learning the right love language! The 5 Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman's New York Times bestseller!

    Words of Affirmation

    Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important'hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
    Quality Time

    In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there�with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby�makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
    Receiving Gifts

    Don�t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous�so would the absence of everyday gestures.
    Acts of Service

    Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don�t matter.
    Physical Touch

    This language isn�t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face�they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I love to cook when I entertain and I like to try new things. I often have whoever is eathing what I have made vote it in our out of the Tried and True Cookbook. I do think it is in many ways about love, I love smaller dinners with 12 or less and like to try to make them delicious and beautiful as a way of caring. In the summer I like the more casual cooking and having friends over on the deck. I also like to learn new things and have learned so much from the amazing folks on this forum that I am truly grateful for. I like the community of those who love to cook too.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    BB, cooking for another falls in the "acts of service" category. The love in the gesture is voided if the offering has strings attached. It's just food and we all need it. I happen to like to cook and do not find it a burden to do so. I do it with a fair amount of ease at this point and usually it's at least edible.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Barnmom,

    I agree with you. No gift should ever have strings attached like my grandmother. Gifts are free. Otherwise, it's a salary.

    DH is a Physical Touch person by the above choices. So, it's not a gift for me to cook for him. A gift for DH is snuggling on the sofa while we watch the Pats play Sunday afternoon.

    Cooking is certainly not a gift to anyone if we expect to be loved in return for cooking because that doesn't meet the "free" test.

    Now, if you are an Act of Service person & your spouse comes home announcing he/she has shopped & has plans to fix dinner - then that's a gift to you because you appreciate that type of gesture.

    Cooking though has to be done by somebody...either a restaurant or a member of the family. We all need to eat. In some families nobody is an Act of Service type of personality such as my DBIL & DSIL. So, they hire the cleaning, garden work, & cooking. They show their love in other ways that reflects what they each want.

    I think as individuals we tend to give what we would like to receive rather than giving what the recepient wants. Reminds me of the first time DD#1 Christmas shopped on her own. I got a new soccer ball! lol

    /tricia

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Barnmom, I just reread my post and it looks like the whole thing was addressed to you. It wasn't. Only the first paragraph. :)

    /t

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I didn't think about how it read one way or another. It seems fine to me either way.

    I was reminded of the Browning Hi-Power I received for my birthday one year from my ex-husband. Grins.

    But I don't really want anyone else to cook for me. :) But if they do that's very nice, too.

    Eileen

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Nice present! I'd love to get a Hi-Power someday. Everyone reveres John Moses Browning's Model 1911. The Hi-Power, probably his last pistol design, is superior.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    This is all too reminiscent of the time dh bought me a garment steamer for Valentines Day. (that I've used twice? and he 2x weekly) but I had to look up what a Browning Hi-Power is. I do shoot often but it's with lenses.

    And what on earth would you do with it, John?

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I cook because my DH and I have this terrible condition called "Love To Eat Homemade Food". We also like to eat healthy and know what is in what we eat.

  • 14 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Though I only fired it a few times at the range, it was a very nice gun to use. Sold long ago.

    I also received a portable stereo for Mother's Day that promptly took up residence at his office. :)

    I would have used the garment steamer!