Hello again all, I have been taking these past few days one at a time. Some are good days and some are bad days (both for me and Jelika). But we are trudging onward. I am so grateful that I can come here and read all your posts of encouragement. It appears I am not the only one who has gone through this type of pain (even though some days it feels like no one in the world can understand what I'm going through). I am so glad that there are so many pets out there that have good and obviously loving homes. It makes me feel better. Biwako, my hat is off to you for bringing 15 deserving kitties into your life.. I don't know if my heart could stand losing that many... Yesterday was a bad day. I came home and Jelika did not want to eat or get up all that much. But Saturday was a relatively good day. Again we went outside in the sunshine and just sat there (which was nice because we have had about 35 solid days of rain here.. and she so loves to sit in the sun). She is still on Pred.. this coming weekend I may start the weaning dose... the vet wants her to come in for another check up but I just don't know if I can do that to her. She hates it so much. She may be getting slightly more dehydrated though so I should bring her in for a shot of the sub-q's. I really don't know why they didn't show me how to do it at home when i specifically asked them to last time (so that I wouldn't have to bring her in again for it!). Grrrr. It is so frustrating. Also, I am experiencing a problem that may be of my own making. My other cat, Kitty, has started "attacking" Jelika a little more lately.. and she has been acting like she's holding a grudge.. which she may be. I know I have been ignoring her a bit lately because I want to spend all my time petting/being with Jelika. Because I just can't stand the thought that one day soon there won't be a Jelika there to pet anymore. I do try to make a little "Kitty time" each day. But because I have to feed Jelika special food (stuff that Kitty really likes too, but she's a little too..uh...healthy (read fat) to eat it all the time) So she just sits there and watches me feed Jelika. I do try to give her a couple of "treats" at the same time so that she doesn't feel too left out, but I think she does anyway. I feel really bad about it. They have never been the best of friends, and Jelika has ALWAYS been jealous of any time that I spend with Kitty. If she ever saw Kitty in my lap cuddling, Jelika would come right up and sit even higher up on my lap or chest.. to get in front of Kitty (as if she OWNS me.. well I guess she does :) So anyways I have this dilemna because I don't want Jelika to see me spending too much time with Kitty in what could be her (Jelika's) last few weeks, but I also don't want to ignore Kitty too much and alienate her... I mean they do get along and they are friends.. but there has always been a bit of rivalry going on as well... Anyway I will update shortly. P.S I haven't tried pumpkin yet, but the lactulose seems to be working.. however it is dehydrating so i have only been giving it once a day instead of two.. I think I will try the pumpkin.

Leave your older cat be. She will adjust to the new addition in her own time. I am assuming that you have the new cat cordoned off with its own litter and food? Good idea to do so until everyone is at peace with one another. It also gives your other cat a chance to sniff at the gate of the room where the new cat is being kept. Or, if you shut a door to the room, put up a baby gate when you can be around to supervise what's going on. If you haven't kept them separated, your cat may be angry if the new cat is using its box and food. How long have you had the new cat? We had the same situation this summer and it was horrible for 1-2 weeks. After that period of time all was good. My cat would not even let us touch him while he was adjusting to the new addition. I just left him alone until he came to me, which he eventually did. If your cat welcomes your attention, then give it, but if it doesn't don't be concerned. The existing cat has her nose out of joint and will get over it in her own time. Don't reinforce her behavior by extra attention since she may think you are rewarding her for acting out regarding the addition. Have patience and keep your sense of humor. I am always optimistic. Cats seem to work things out - may take a little while. Keep posting on the cats' progress.

cdngirl: I just read back through canine's post "BF has child, I have none-help with nerves" and saw your message: > My BF is amazing, and I told him thatI didn't want to meet his son unless he was "ring-on-the-finger" serious. That was only 6 weeks ago, but then we are in our late 30's and both about to finalize divorces, so if he's sure..I know I am... Er...please don't be offended, but this sounds rather ill-advised. Both the not-meeting-the-kid, and the deciding-to-get-married-after-6-weeks. The thing is, this may sound kind of old fashioned but when you marry somebody, you're marrying their situation and you're marrying their whole family. Including the problems. Especially the problems. > this could be the big "test" though...what do you think? I think that's a contender for understatement of the year. The younger the kid is when a step parent waltzes on to the scene, the easier it is for the step. At 3 or 4, the kid's still young enough to be easily disciplined, and I've read that even up to age 5 or so children often bond very well with the step. At 1 or 2, the kid will probably see no diff between the step and the real parent -- depending on the specifics of the situation of course. My 3 year old SS was a cakewalk -- my 9 year old SD and 13 year old SS on the other hand were not cakewalks. My advice to you: * do background research on the web about the sorts of behaviors that you can expect from kids post-divorce, and entering into a step situation. * ask your SO what sorts of things his kid is interested in, and do research into that -- not necessarily to cram fun down his throat, but to have points of reference -- and to find out if his personality is drastically different than yours. If you think it doesn't matter, check out mom-2-4's posts. * Ask your SO ALL about his SS, particularly if he has any wacky kinds of personality traits -- gird your loins. Before somebody jumps down my throat, either my partner failed to mention it, or she did and I just plain forgot when I met her, but my SD tends to lie. Quite a lot. I can understand it, knowing the family situation she's in with her BD, but I wasn't aware of it when we met, which lead to...situations. * even with the 3 above points, try to give the kid the benefit of the doubt, because kids are perceptive and kids are smart. They just lack vocab, and social embarrasment/guilt. * DON'T GET MARRIED RIGHT AWAY. Kids in a step or divorce situation are on a slow timescale. I would personally give it 2 years of constant contact, before you really know where you stand, but don't do anything for at least 6 months. My advice, anyway. As far as what do 10 year olds like to do -- try Warhammer, D&D, playing catch (baseball & frisbee), amusement parks, miniature golf, having books recommended to them (Henry Reed, My Side of the Mountain, House with the Clock in its Walls, 3 Investigators), watching cartoons, watching shoot-em-up sci fi (best of all -- Aliens 2), playing video games, riding bikes, going hiking. Or at least, that's what *I* liked at 10.

I used that on the carpet (until we gave up) but it didn't occur to me to use it on the concrete too.