I know exactly what you mean, Kat. There is one in particular on this board who never has a nice thing to say. Being the snot I am, I frequently call her/him on it, but I just guess I should feel sorry for them because they obviously have a sad, depressing life.

On the other hand - I tend to be a Pollyana. This morning we had a roof leak with water streaming from 2 locations. I got the buckets, mops, towels and called the roofer.

I kept thinking how lucky we were that I was home and heard the water dripping shortly after it started, and how lucky that our roofer had an emergency contact and came right out. And even though we learned that we need an entire new roof (ours is over 25 years old after all) which will cost around $12,000 I was glad that the damage we sustained wasn't worse.

Not everyone is my house is thrilled with my 'on the bright side' outlook. It takes away from their grousing.

Maire

I also know what you mean. I've got a co-worker who is like that.

We've nicknamed him "Dark Cloud Walking"

I dunno - Perky Pollys can be just as annoying, and sometimes plain exhausting.

I just wonder if they were caught at a moment when not feeling well, or things are not going well. I'm like that, if I'm not feeling well or hurting, or my day is messed up, I tend to not feel positive. Then again, there are some things I feel strongly about and feel it is my right to express my opinion. I guess I've not met anyone who is ALWAYS a downer.

That's charitable of you, Dotmom, but I've known a couple of full-time downers. I learned to stay away from one of them because her effect on me wasn't healthy. When I first knew her I was excited to tell her I was newly pregnant. She said something like, "Maybe you're not pregnant. Maybe it's a tumor." Buh-bye.....

My former husband always had something negative to say. When he told me his DD amd DSIL were pregnant he said "...if she doesn't miscarry". My sister-in-law sometimes called him Negative Jim.

Mom had an expression for people like that:

"They'd complain even if they were hung with a new rope."

Ron

Sadly, my MIL was that way all the time. And when I say all the time this is what I mean. It was so hard to be around her.. I, too, had a friend like this and I was drowning around her. I had to let her go and boy does it ever feel good. Sadly , she just can't see it and has lost so many good people in her life.

I have often wondered what makes them tick, Kat. It seems as if they just feel that it is not only their right but their self-righteous duty to bring the spirit down to their level. I always pity them.

Not just an hour, a day a week, or even a month. EVERY single DAY .... "it's always cloudy, if the sun IS out, it isn't hot enough, if it is warm enough, there are too many clouds in the sky, the person driving next to them is a moron, instead of seeing a beautiful view, it's " look at the nasty bird pooh!" it's just insane! LOL

I have a coworker who can be nasty one minute and then so sweet as sugar it's sickening.

I've learned to be polite at best but I don't trust her one bit. She lied to my boss about me and was called on it. Just this week she was bashing my other coworker and again got called on it.

Her contract is up in May and I am praying my boss doesn't renew it. He said IF he does she will be put on probation.

i always try to look at the positive side of things. After all....everyday above ground is a good day!

SamKaren
your resident DJ

I worked with someone like that. When she knew I wanted to find another job, she told me nobody else hires full time in retail. It took me 8 years to call her bluff on it. When I told her I was going east with my son, she gave me all sorts of horror stories about the drive. She was probably the person who too, told all the first time pregnant moms to be her child birth horror stories. I hate when people do that....

I try to see both sides of the coin. But there are times when I only see the negative. As someone above said, the person could be having a bad day, week, year... LOL

Kat, I hope you don't have to be around Debdowner to often. You have a good heart and contantly enjoying life. Always keep your joy, no one can take it! Love ya

I don't know why people are like that but I have a friend who falls into this category and it's really, really difficult to spend time with her or to even talk to her on the phone or even read an email from her. She has very few friends which isn't surprising I guess. All I can say is it must be a miserable existence. I'm so thankful I'm not like that.

I know someone like this and I don't think he is actually unhappy. That is what is weird. It's always doom and gloom, but he seems to thrive on that. It is exhausting to be around that energy, so I can only do it once in awhile - he is family.

My late MIL was like that, all the time, ALL THE TIME. I honestly think part of it is mental illness. She actually complained to me about being left with money, when her husband died. That she would have been better off if she'd been destitute. HUH?

I came to the realization that complaining made her "happy". Her sick version of happy, anyway. Poor thing ripped thru about 2 million dollars in just under 15 years, I guess she was trying to get to that destitute level on her own.

I have to distance myself from downer-types as they will try to drag you down with them and I refuse to go. And not only was she negative, she was needy, too. She needed to be entertained all the time and needed to go someplace every day. She wasn't happy just "being".

I think it's for attention. Responding like everyone else leads to being ignored or skimmed over, while out-there statements lead to attention, even if it's negative. Some people would rather have people irritated with them then to blend in with the crowd and get no attention at all.

You can see it in this forum. There will be some cute picture or happy news or something and 30 people will chime in with the same sweet comments and then there will be a single negative comment, and all focus turns to that one. I couldn't tell you what all the sweet comments said, since I skim over them, but I could tell you what the negative one said. It's how it works.

I'm not sure why some are "glass half empty" people. I have several family members who are toxic and complain about everything under the sun. Misery loves company. This is the reason why I've nipped my relationship with them and limit my chats with others. They are too exhausting.

Negative people are usually unhappy and they end up alone in the end because they push people away and no one wants to be around them.

It takes less energy to be happy and positive than it does to be miserable and negative. It's not a difficult choice.

murraysmom said it well. I prefer not to hang around DD'ers.

and I try to keep my glass half full. More enjoyable.

Moni

I like you oklamoni....you are a keeper! I have the same philosophy about life....I don't understand why we all can't have a difference of opinion in life. If we were all alike ...life would be so boring...don't you think? If I come across a Debbie Downer ...I always act "stupid and cheerful" and merrily move on...I don't waste my time with them.... LOL

The 3 DD's that I know, do it for the attention it gets them. One of the them is constantly wondering why she has no successful relationships. Tried to tell her, but she doesn't get it.

It takes alot of energy to go through life with a bad attitude. I could never imagine living that way, but to each his/her own.

I tend to be a pessimist. I'm on kidney dialysis and I've done lots of complaining about it here at KT. A priest once told me , instead of saying "Why me?" one should say "Why not me?" Yeah, it's hard to be chronically ill. But my disease is mostly treatable, I get dialysis and feel pretty good between treatments. Just today I read about a man who lives in another county and they recently cut his bus service. He was paying $3.75 a day one way to get to his dialysis treatment center. Now he has to pay cab fare of $20 one way. Compared to him, I am so lucky. I live about 5 miles from the hospital, and I own a car and can drive there in about 10 minutes. I should not complain!

Jannie you've never come across as a pessimist. What you have to go through is no walk in the park and it's ok to express that. I don't view it as complaining.