I agree that it's impossible to tell but I can tell you that we are at the same stage as you and our house is supposed to be done in 6 weeks. But, our house is 2400 sq ft and pretty plain - no coffered ceilings, wainscotting, or built-ins. I guess that's not much help except that you know it will be more than 6 weeks. I'm anxious too : )

Perfectly said Livewire. In NJ custom homes come at a very large premium. Not only in cost but taxes since NJ has the highest property taxes in the nation. We live in a cookie cutter 2300 sq. ft. TH that we bought new 4 yrs old. Let's talk about the builder options and costs. We were sent to a design studio to pick our options. They were overpriced junk. The builder wanted $12,000 for hardwoods just on the first floor. The kitchen cab upgrades were $2500 and $4500 and not worth it. The master bath upgrade (tile) started at $2500. This one we could not figure out. There is not enough tile nor was the guality good enough to justify the cost. Recessed ceiling lights were $200 ea. We put in our own upgrades and started after settlement with very high quality kitchen cabs, my great Franke Orka sink and faucet,and HW throughout most of the house which includes most of the second floor and closets and upgraded much more with better quality and less money than the builders stuff would have cost. Our cookie cutter has the same floor plans but our home is our own.

Here is a sample of our trim. I have enjoyed the look and low maintenance of wood trim for the past 20 years. I'm embarassed to admit, I've only thoroughly washed it a few times, if that, over the past 20 years. My routine has been to vacuum it when dusty looking, and for the most part it has always looked fine. I love the look of painted trim also! We are in the process of putting on a 940 sq ft addition and we plan on painting most of the new woodwork. Wood trim original house and painted in new add on . . . what do you think? Make sense? The addition includes expanding and updating the kitchen. I'm planning on going white trim, hardwood floors, and a combination of wood and painted cabinets. The same for the mudroom/butler's pantry area right off of the kitchen. Lots of beadboard, white subway tiles . . . you probably know the look all too well. Good luck with your decision and post lots of photos. Here is a link that might be useful: Wood Trim

I am not a botanist, or even an expert in any kind of wood "ology", but I have bumped into similar situations. It sounds like you may have encountered issues from two fronts: Different manner of harvesting (cutting) the wood, and possibly even different wood species. How a stain reacts to each of these conditions can be quite unique, even with a pre-conditioner. I have found pre-conditioners to help make stain appearance more consistent across a specific "type" of board, but not as helpful across different types or species. When cutting wood from a log, different methods are used depending on the type of product they are trying to make. For wainscot (or plywoods in general), it is desireable to have a wide, flat, thin piece of wood. This can be made by either by joining several flat sawn pieces together at the edge, or by actually peeling the log like an apple skin. The grain created by these two methods are quite different and will take stain quite differently. Peeling can produce large areas of the same layer in the log's growth rings. My guess is that the "goldy" sheen you are referring to is in the harder, summer layer which does not take a stain very well; while the surrounding wood soaks it up like a sponge (very dark). On the other hand, the moulding pieces and flat stock were likely harvested in the simple flat-sawn manner. The mouldings probably have the grain going perpendicular to the face (works better when routing or cutting contours), while the flat stock has it running mosty flat. Again, these cuts can setup conditions that make the absorbing of stain very different. Another thing you could be dealing with, is that PINE is not just PINE. There are several species, each with their own characteristics. Sometimes with mouldings they only classify between hardwood and softwood which leaves a lot open to interpretation. So that might help with how you got here, but doesn't do beans to help with your current problem:-( You can try sanding the flat stock as others have suggested; that's probably not an option with the mouldings though. You can try a solution of laundry bleach or wood bleach (oxacylic acid) to see if that pulls enough color out. Keep in mind that both of these methods will likely raise the grain so let it dry completely and sand smooth before trying to adjust the color or put on any finish. If you decide to start over, here are some ideas to avoid the same pitfalls. - Gel stains. These are much easier to control and do not "soak right in" the way typical oil stains do. You sometimes have to "rub" these in a bit to get the desired look. You can also let a thin layer actually just "dry" right on surface of the wood, if you can't get it to soak or rub into the wood. - One-coat "varnish stains" (Minwax calls these Polyshades) can give better color control, but has a tendency to hide the grain detail. Use additional coats of the "varnish stain" to get a darker effect. Once you have the color you like, you can add additional topcoats (if needed) of clear varnish without affecting the color. Be careful sanding between coats of varnish stain, as the color is mostly in the varnish coat and not soaked into the wood. I have used this method many times on windows where the casings were made of PINE, but the trim is Oak. I've also used it on woods that don't take stains well like Maple. - You have probably already realized this, but experiment on the actual woods that you are using. You may very well find that you need to apply a different treatment to each "type" of wood to get the same (or at least acceptable) color. This actually happens to me often when I'm building cabinetry and mixing the use of both solid woods and veneer plywoods. Not as bad with Oak, but with woods like Pine and Maple, I like to steer toward either no stain at all, or toward red/mahogany. The brown/black seems harder to control. I even do this when purposely substituting different wood types for durability reasons. I hope that helps. I've felt the same frustration as you. Good luck with your project. Jim