My sister and I both have power of attorney and are executors of our Mother's estate. We both know we only want what is best for our Mother. When she passes there won't be much to take care of. She is not on Medicaid and has been paying her own way in a nursing home for over two years.

Sue

One person is really best. She will also have the opportunity to choose a successor, someone to carry out the duties should the person named first (you, in this case) be unable to act.

Yes, in many cases, two siblings can do the job, but it will be MUCH easier to have one person she trusts. BTDT.

Take my word for it...having two is better if the others kick up a fuss.

There are only my sister and I and there is no property left in Mother's name and what money there is is going for her care as long as it lasts. She has very few personal things as we had an auction. So I see no problem with my sister and I. She is out of the state a lot and I am the only one around and if I have a question about Mother I usually consult with my sister's son as he writes the checks and so forth for our Mother. We keep everything with him, even though my sister and I can both write checks we don't. Life is too short to worry about much. I am 74. Mother is 95.

Sue

My sister and I were both for my parents. There are
also 3 brothers - and they were glad they didn't
have to do it. Depends on how you get along, and
how the rest of the family feels. A lot of bad
lifelong feelings can happen if your family tends
to be edgy with each other. But, that in the end with
be their problem. Just do the best you can and be
ok with it.

Stay strong.

I think it depends on your relationship with your sister. Do you think you and your sister could work well together and agree on most if not all things? Are you both open to compromise if need be? Is there really a reason to have two executors, like her estate is large enough that it would be helpful to split the duties?

Why not sit down with your mom and sister and talk it out? Maybe your sister would like you to be the executor with her as the successor if you are unable or unwilling to act. Communication on this will keep things happy. Mom wants peace among you kids too.

Actually it's executrix or some such funny Latin word. I think you almost have to have 2 in case something happened to 1 of you. My sister and DH were executrix and executor for my daddy and I had his power of attorney which is null and void when the person dies.

My 2 sisters and I are all three executrix (es?). I think there should be at least 2. Like Monica said, others could kick up a fuss, or blow everything because they have 'control'. We all three went to the lawyer with Mom when she drew up her will. So we all heard the same thing at the same time.
Leslie

DH and I spelled everything out and chose someone who is NOT related to serve as executor.

:-)

I think one executor is plenty. Your sister should be listed as the successor should something happen that makes you unable to fill the position.

It's a responsibility not an honor or anything. With two you could have a stalemate on a decision to be made and that just complicates matters. If you have more than one better have something in writing in how disputes will be settled.

Check with an attorney about being an executrix. In our state an heir can't be one unless they changed the law, but it is done and no one cares unless there is a serious disagreement between the heirs. It will save money for the heirs if she has a living trust, no probate, no lawyer fees. It is the lawyers that end up with 40 to 60 % of the assets. My brother in law lost 60% of his share when the lawyers finished with it.

She will also have the opportunity to choose a successor...
You should exercise caution on comments like this since this like so many of the other comments made will vary from state to state, right down to the name of the position. Here, there is no successor appointment power unless specifically provided for in the Will and the position is called a "Personal Representative". Also a relative, especially children of the decedents are often appointed without a question since it's often the norm here.

The number of co-executors (which can be male or female unless you want to specify exectrix, or executrices), co-personal representatives, administrator and other terms for the same position is a personal choice. It sounds like the major responsibilities will be to pay for final illness, file taxes, dispose of real and personal property and the like. You may want one or want more than one.

One thing you need to keep in mind. YOU do not appoint the executor of your estate, you nominate someone or more than one and the Court is the one who approves it and appoints them. They have NO power until that court appointment. If you nominate someone and your relatives don't like it and have reasonable reason, they can go to court and challenge it. Also, you need to give the executor powers in your Will or the Court will have more involvement. Former Chief Justice Warren Burger made a mess out of his estate by giving his executors no power. You should also decide whether you wish them to be bonded and/or supervised.

I assume she has a Will currently and is considering changing the nomination which will require something in writing and it's probably best to do a new Will if it's a simple one or at least a codicil. A notarized letter may be sufficient depending on your location, to convince a judge of desire and intent as long as others don't claim duress.

There's advantages and disadvantages of having one or more than one. Depending on the amount of work involved, it's often nice to have someone share the work. Normally there's not a ton of decisions that an executor makes, but there can be, depending on the estate. There is no one right answer whether to have one or more than one. In my Will, I'm nominating two people, if they agree to serve, and giving the option that if one does not want to or doesn't qualify (or meet the requirements I lay out for them) the other has the option to serve individually or have another co-personal representative and I am nominating in order of preference a number of other people whom I trust to be cooperative enough to make it easier on the person.

There's a lot of ways to avoid hassles. Name beneficiaries on bank accounts, certain properties can be as a trustee or in joint tenancy, living trusts, and more. Properties can be given away or sold, however that can be tricky in places two, because here, you can't give away large sums right before you die or the Courts will yank it back under the theory that you knew you were dying and tried to give it away to avoid taxes or the like.

Another thought: You could have her put a power for you to appoint a co-exector to assist. But nothing stops you from having someone assist you with certain things. Just keep in mind that as an executor (or whatever name it's given) YOU are responsible to do it right and if someone wants to make trouble, they could so it's something to be cautioned about. How much squabbling would you honestly expect? Greed does different things to people. I've sure seen a lot of it in my own family.

Good luck.

Here we can just appoint someone and it can be contested as can any contract. My lawyer did mine, but I picked the person I wanted and there will be no court or lawyers involved. I used TOD on the house and car and POD on the bank accounts. It will all be transferred when the bank is shown the death certificate. The lawyer said I did as he could. Really I just had him look over what I already had. There is a will at the request of my heir, a college, but it will not be used unless someone contests. Even then it will not go through the courts unless they find duress. If a someone took advantage of my inability to make decisions. He said that won't happen since I am making it early on.

Thanks everyone for your response. I talked to my mother earlier and decided to have my sister put on as "Successor". She will probably be the only one that I'd ask for help if I need it, when that time comes.

My mother is also going to question the attorney about a living trust. She's familiar with them, but doesn't have one. I'd like to see her get one drawn up though.

Not pleasant thoughts, but it all has to be done.

I just finished up settling my mom's estate. There are 4 of us siblings, I'm the oldest, and the one everyone trusts as being scrupulously fair and honest. The family joke has always been that if there was one penny left over after the assets were divided, I'd cut it in quarters--well, there were 2 cents left over, and each sibling got a half a penny with their last disbursement--LOL--I enjoyed watching their faces as they opened their envelope

Anyway, I can assure you that unless your mother has an extremely complicated estate, or some of you don't trust each other, there's simply no need to have more than one executrix (or executor). There's just not that much to do, and having just gone through it, I can easily see how having more than one executor(trix) would just muddle things and slow the whole process.

Now, that being said, it's very important to list an alternate who can take over if the first executor(trix) is unavailable or unable to handle things.

I'm not sure a living trust is all that important--again, unless your mom's estate is huge. You'll pay next to no taxes on what you inherit from a parent. The biggest tax problem you're going to have is the fact that your executrix fee counts as INCOME on your taxes, and there won't be any witholding from it, so you will have to cough up the whole amount of taxes at the end of the year--don't forget to plan for that. Mine pushed us into a higher bracket, unfortunately.

I acted as Executor with my *ex* sister.

My parents wills were done up by a lawyer...*I* followed the wills to the nth degree..I am now an orphan(from a *family* of 7)...lol

Please,if you can,talk to your Mom about anything that she might like *left* to grands,friends,her own kids',whatever..and have her either gift it to those individuals while she is alive and can enjoy seeing them with it,or at the very least,write down somewhere(if its a painting/picture/print etc on the back of it)what she wants whom to have..that'll save an awful lot of grief when the time comes.

If she makes a list of who's to get what, unless she can trust the one left in charge to be scrupulously honest, better have several copies made, and dated, in case she might change her mind later, and make a new list.

Good idea to have several have the list, as sometimes if the person carrying the list doesn't like some of the provisions, such lists have been known to have "disappeared" into thin air.

ole joyful

I think that a co-executorship is trouble. However, it is wise to name an optional, second or even a third in line, executors in case something happened to the prime executor. Perhaps, an arrangement should be made for you to pass your executorship to the next in line should you become incapacitated. That way, you don't have to pass away to move the executorship to the next person.

An executor has the option to engage another member of the family, or another person, to help with decisions on distribution of the estate and to audit the 'books'.

An executor is entitled to charge the estate a fee and expenses for his/her services. Check your state law for what is proper and usual. In the case of my mother's estate, my sister and I would not think of charging each other a fee although I did offer my sister such. She was the executor.

My Mother has already given all her things to her children and grandchildren that she wanted them to have. The rest was sold and the money put into her account to care for her until it runs out, which will be soon with the cost of nursing home care.

Sue