Your pond looks great. I live in Burlington but worked down in Medford lakes for some time. I can have problems with Blue Herons from November till March. I know some people who had ponds down in the Lakes and Medford Township who had problems with Herons all year round. I would often see them driving to work. The water in your area is a big attraction. I am not trying to put a damper on your enthusiasm but I would caution you to any big fish investment. I need nets in the winter. You may need them all year round. Ask some of your neighbors who have ponds and get an idea. I've lost a few nice fish. I got nets down before I was wiped out. Good luck and happy ripples Chef Hick

Hi I am a 58 yr old husband married for more than 30 yrs. My wife is a RN now for @ 5 yrs. We do not get along at all. We don't speak to each other unless we are in a verbal fight. We have been living in this house like this for more than 10 yrs. I have a beautiful daughter 22 yrs old. Finished college and has a great career in behavioral health. I also have a 30 yr old son with 2 children supposedly sharing half-half custody with their (moms). They are here more with us than they are with their (moms). I don't work and permanently disabled since since my back surgery in 1997. I still love my wife even though she does not anymore, but I'm ok with that because I am just built like that. This is a volatile relationship 24/7. We no longer communicate on anything unless we're in each other's face. I do not put any hands on her or my children ever. We may have our disagreements but no hands and I like it that way. That is only half of the issue. The other half is my 30 yr old son son who does not plan anytime soon to grow up and support his children. Mamma takes care of everything, and I do mean everything. She earns a very good living with her career, not to mention she is a very intelligent woman about to get her masters degree real soon. But I believe that she is the one who does not want to let go of the 30 yr old and his kids. I don't have a problem with him staying here, but I do have a problem with his attitude, disrespect and his sense of entitlement to how and when he needs things. Oh, did I mention he does not work, nor is looking for work. He don't need to because mamma takes care of all his needs no matter what it is. My 30 yr old does not contribute and can't contribute to this household except for being a referee with me and my wife. Which I must admit is a good thing believe it or not. But like his mother he to is a very hot head waiting under the surface of calm. On January 7th 2018 @ 6:pm my wife goes to work as usual, and I normally prepare her lunch so she doesn't have to while she gets ready. I totally forgot to put these drinks that she takes to work in the refrigerator so to be cold when she drinks them. She took it as an ultimate personal disrespect and all out verbal assault ensued. I was totally caught off guard with this. And as she relentlessly continued with this tongue lashing, I did the worse thing buy saying to her. "why are you being such an ass about it it was an accident, I didn't do it on purpose. When I said that, it was no longer about the starbucks refreshers. She said some very nasty things on her way out the house, and it angered me, and said to her well bye or good-nite and that's what send her over the edge. Now it wasn't about going to work, now the gloves came off. The last thing I said after a brutal tongue lashing from her, I said " I promised myself the very next time she goes of like this was going to put a stop payments from my disability direct deposit benefits to her bank acct. There was no turning back for her a that point. As my son tried desperately to keep her from getting to me, she managed to break his half hearted attempt to hold her back. She ran right up to me and gave me serious beat down to my face. While both of my hands were in my pockets holding on to my cell phone. Now my son said that I stuck my neck out at her while she was in my face and that gave her cause to physically assault me. Me personally I don't recall doing that but my daughter said the same thing so it must be true. After the beating that I took, she began screaming for the whole world to hear. " I want him out of here screaming at me telling me to get the f%#@k out! I never once removed my hands from my pockets at all. Eventually she went to work and we haven't spoke about since. I normally stay as far as I can from her because I fear that things like can happen so quickly, that there's is no time to think. I realize my actions in this already hot relationship. I do hold myself accountable for my actions and my responses that night. I just wished it never happened period, I wish I never forgot to put those refreshers in the fridge for her. I wish I never said what I said to insult her that way. Because I was being mean when I said those things. And I didn't have to do that. I should've just kept my mouth shut, and let her go on her way and none of this would not happen. God forgive me. But I know the damage is done. I don't know my tomorrows anymore and I don't know my family anymore. The energy in this house is very toxic, and I pray each and every day for some miracle but I can't see anything, or any hope insight. I give up.

My husband and I recently brought home a 3-month old female kitten as a companion for our 2 year old male. (Male is neutered, and kitten is scheduled to be spayed.) The initial introduction went pretty much how we expected (hissing, growling, adult cat batting at the kitten) but we didn't keep the kitten completely isolated. Whenever either of us were home, the kitten would go into the pet carrier, and set on the floor for the older cat to "explore." Once he stopped hissing at the kitten, after about 2 days, then we'd allow the kitten to come out and play, while we closed the adult cat in the kitten's "safe room." They had a chance to get used to each other's scents in a calm, low-stress environment. At night we would switch their cat beds so that they could learn to equate the other cat's smell with calm and comfort. After 5 days, we started letting them roam around together (closely supervised). There was a small bit of posturing, hissing, growling, and pawing, but the claws never came out, and the big cat always backed off if the kitten acted like it was being hurt (which it never was... Drama queen...) By 7 days, the big cat had adopted the kitten. He grooms her for hours, and sometimes when we give him a treat, he nudges it at the kitten. They play rough, and it still worries me a little when the kitten cries out, but after a minute or two they're cuddled up together inside one of their cat beds. I don't think that there's a magic "way" to introduce cats to each other, nor do I think there's anything wrong with bringing home a new kitten when you already have an older pet. I don't think that it's "selfish" to want to give your love to more than one pet. The best way to introduce new and old pets to one another is to expect a little friction, be prepared for it, and use your good judgement. You'll quickly learn which behaviors to watch out for, and which ones are simply a part of the introduction process. We now have two *VERY* happy and loving kitties, and the only advice that we followed, the only instructions that we stuck to, were our own.

Yeah, of course in cases like this, the problems are multi-faceted. From what we've learned so far, it seems the pain you are experiencing comes not only from being unable to enjoy a relationship with these family members, but more so from not having the power to do anything about it. That's the dynamic which would have to change. It could take years and a lot of patience, but if that is in fact the case, worrying about it will only make your life, and the lives of those around you, worse. In fact, you may never be able to fully resolve this issue. As for your son... he is a grown adult, and it sounds like he and his new wife need to be responsible for their own choices and actions. In regards to your grandchildren from the first marriage, you might want to try writing your ex-daughter-in-law and, for the sake of your grandchildren, express an interest in maintaining a relationship. However, keep in mind that as their mother, she may not feel that is the proper course of action. But writing letters, and sending cards, will let them know you care. Since much of this involves people's choices outside of your ability to influence outcomes, sadly perhaps, being concerned about resolving your own choices and feelings might be the best for which you can hope. Hang in there. First, try to get your own feelings under control and you'll be able to make clear decisions that the others involved can respect. That is from where your power to influence the others will emanate.