That seems like a lot to ask from someone who's name you chose not to even put on the birth certificate. It sounds to me like you made your decision about whether or not to name him as this child's father 18 years ago. Don't get me wrong. I am all for father's being held accountable for their children, but I don't think he should be punished for your indescretions just because the law may allow it. All he ever did was allow you to make a poor decision in the first place.

Do you really need this money, or are you just trying to punish someone and make them pay? Will you really be using the money at this point to support your son? After all, he is grown now.

Your ex-husband, who took the responsibility for being the father voluntarily is more responsible than the walk-away boyfriend from long ago, who never admitted to anything. If you were going to hold him responsible, it should have been done way back when.

I'm not judging you for your past indiscretions. I just think you should consider how much money this would be coming from someone who couldn't even get visitation with his child now if he wanted to, being that your son is 18 now. He did you a favor by not showing up when your child was 10 and trying to take custody from you, so maybe you could give him the same respect and not go after him now.

I also think the CA court is a little out of line to even consider a CS case on a 15yo child and that there should be some sort of statute of limitations on things like this, but such is the way of our crazy laws.

I see your point and have thought about it too. I never married the guy who's name is on the birth certificate (and didn't get married until my current husband last year) so nobody has ever assumed the role of father to my son.

When my son was 2, I tried to take his bio dad to court so he could have visitation and my son wanted to see him. I knew he wouldn't be held financially responsible (because the law wouldn't allow it) and I hoped he would at least want to do a DNA test and see his son. He didn't and I had to let it go until the law changed in 2005.

Fast forward to 2004-05 and my son was diagnosed with a tumor. I contacted his bio dad and asked for his medical history and he first said he wanted a DNA test before he would talk to me. Then backed out, got a lawyer and I had to file a paternity case to try get the info. I wasn't in it for the money at that point (because I didn't know if I could seek money) and I wanted him to get to know his son and for our son to have his medical history (and for him to show some concern for his son regarding the tumor) I have more concern over a stranger's child if they had a tumor or other medical problem than he had over his own son (and he knew it was his son).

And as for showing up when my son was ten to take custody, i wasn't worried about that. When my son was 8, we saw his father and he shunned him. Just turned and walked away. He will probably never get a phone call from his dad and we've accepted that, but my son finished HS early and started college when he was 17. He's in his second year (Jr. College) and wants to transfer to a 4 yr. Anything I get for past support is going to pay for his college and a trust for when he graduates. I've never counted on the money and don't intend to keep any even though I have always worked several jobs to support my kids (so I think I deserve it) and he was given opportunities over the years to find out the truth. He's always known the truth but didn't want to take responsibility. Even when they ordered the DNA test, he tried to get the court to deny my motion because he knew the truth and he was worried it would make him look bad (to his church) that he had an illegitimate child that he refused to acknowledge.

I admit I made the first mistake, but within a few months of my son's birth, I tried to correct it and legally I couldn't and he's used the "legality" to his advantage all these years.

I commend you for raising your son on your own. I know that's not easy. And I hope all goes well with his future schooling and health. Most of all, if you ever do get the money, I hope your son puts it to good use. What goes around comes around, and if you told this man about his son and tried to involve him all those years, then he made bad choices too. I guess you've paid your dues, and now he'll pay his. Most of all I hope by now that your son is over the pain that rejection from a father can cause, and I wish you the best in wrapping the issue up and going on with your lives.

Both Fathers need to pay all the child support they legally owe you. The court will decide how much that is based on thier income. Both Bio Dad's knew they had children with you, just because the first Bio Dad chose not to be a part of his son's life doesn't let him off the hook. Don't enable him to be a dead beat Dad, That's the trouble with kids growing up today, they arent forced to take responsibility for thier actions. Stick it to him and I would go after both Dad's to pay for the children's College and medical insurance while your in court too. Get a good lawyer and go to Circuit Court not Juvenile court there you can be reimbursed for medical insurance premiums, medical bills, orthodonitist etc. Be an advocate for your 18 year old no one else is.