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Child Support????

15 years ago

Well, as I've posted before, SD9's mom (BM) was ordered to start paying child support beginning in April of this year. (after we had her for 8 months before that with no order for support and she gave $0) She is supposed to pay a whopping $216 per month. Well, DH turned it over to DCSS to collect. She hasn't paid a dime and her arrears are over $1096 plus the current amount for this month, which is also due. So, she owes about $1300.00 plus a few hundred for her half of all un-reimbursed medical costs from the previous year. She has paid for nothing.

At the beginning of the school year, DH asked her if she can contribute toward the school bus fee of $195. She told him that she will pay half in a few weeks. Then last Friday, my SD had a cross country meet and BM actually showed up for it. After, she came over to where I was standing and told me that she was going to buy SD some new running shoes over the weekend. [she had also sent DH a text, telling him she would have her half of the bus fee on Sunday]

On Sunday, she walked SD out to our car and handed DH a check for $130.00 with the memo stating "1/2 bus fee & shoes". Later, I joked to DH that she is probably going to claim this as child support. He disagreed, saying she knows she is ordered to pay DCSS the ordered amount and this is an add on. I didn't argue since she didn't write "child support" on the memo line. Her half of the bus fee was $97.50 so that leaves $32.50 for shoes. DH said that I should go buy SD a very nice pair of $65.00 shoes since BM paid for half. Of course, I disagree since I already bought her new shoes when school started a month ago. [and since the 'other half' would be out of MY pocket]. He didn't argue about it but wanted me to at least get a good name brand that would be around $40.00. I think he doesn't want to get reamed by BM if SD doesn't get nice enough shoes with HER money.

The problem: First, if BM wants to buy her daughter shoes... she should take her and buy her shoes. That way, she can pick out the style she likes and quality she wants. She can't complain if she picks them out and if she is going to send the money to us with instructions to buy her shoes, she should not have any right to complain. I'm a little annoyed at DH that he wants me to do the shopping and then expects me to keep in mind that he doesn't want me to pick out anything BM might not like. That's a no win situation for me. BM doesn't like me. Anything I pick, she won't like. I just say TOUGH!

Second, DH just called to tell me that DCSS called him to tell him that BM told them she paid him direct child support of $130.00. He told them it was not child support, but half bus fee and shoes. They told him that they are still going to count it as a direct payment to him. BM then sent him a text, asking him to send DCSS a letter on her behalf, telling them she paid him child support of $130.00 so they will get off her back. She also told him that since she has to pay child support, she should not have to pay half the bus fee since the child support should cover that. We were told by our attorney that the bus fee, childcare, and un-reimbursed medical costs are add ons and not part of the child support. Those are in addition to the monthly support amount. He sent DCSS a letter but told them it was for a bus fee and shoes. He did acknowledge she gave him $130.00 though. Personally, I don't think DCSS should have a right to make a decision that a gift becomes a support payment, but oh well.

So, besides telling DH "I told you so", I told him that if it's child support, I don't need to buy her any new shoes. She has a fairly new pair and can use those. If it's child support, BM cannot direct how to spend it. It's just so irritating that I bought all her back to school clothes and supplies and paid the other half of her bus fee, and BM makes a production of handing DH the check in front of her BF and SD like she's a hero for paying anything.

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