I guess it depends on your relationship. My family not only shifts things around in their own houses, but we regularly swap things in each others houses.

Rugs, Pictures, furniture. Not the expensive stuff my dad has of course, but anything else. :) I wanted some bunny plates he had once in his sunroom to hang in my house and he said no. I figured I could find them on ebay. Sheesh, they were expensive. I figured I could wait.

I would gift it to her. Tell her it would look so great in her place and you have no spot to use it now. She'll be thrilled. Every sister loves a little gift from their brother. Wrap it up and add a nice little card and watch her face when she opens it.

My mother and I trade furniture and decorative accessories between us all the time. Sometimes the item was originally a gift and sometimes not, but we recognize that sometimes an item fits best in the other's house at a particular time.

I would just use the plaque in the arrangement you are doing and not say anything. If your sister remembers gifting it to you, just be honest and tell her that you thought it would look great with this arrangement, so you are lending it to her for now.

I would tell her you want to lend it to her, because you have been thinking about it and it would look so perfect there.

I wish I knew what to do about a large oil painting my DB once gave me, when we were teens.

I too had a huge oil painting my DB game me, never liked it, and when he moved into his new place, offered it back; he was glad to get it, and am sure he uses it!

I would have to know every person well in order to make that judgment. I think you probably know whether or not this is a good idea. It's a very personal thing.

I would also "lend" it to her. If she recognizes and says anything, just say you're downsizing (if not space, and don't have anywhere right now. If she doesn't say anything, don't remind her - like you said, she probably won't even remember.

Yow. Gifts.

We once admired a rather dramatic oil painting done by a neighbor in California, which hung over their fireplace. He took it off the wall, went into his studio, inscribed it to us on the front with a loving sentiment, and gave it to us on the spot.

His wife looked utterly horrified. She loved it. We had admired it, sure, but we didn't want it. So we hung it in our dining room. What could we do?

We've lived in two other cities since, and lost track of them many years ago. We still have the durn thing in storage. I'd have sold it years ago, except for that inscription.

People shouldn'd give gifts for the house, or clothing, imo, no matter how well they think they know someone's taste. Probably rarely works out.

I think it's very touchy territory to return a gift to someone. Obviously you [haven't cared for it much]. It would hurt feelings around here and hardly worth it.

This post was edited by snookums2 on Wed, Feb 6, 13 at 14:36

I've used it for ten years, though, and she's seen it hanging in my houses--it's because it was a long time ago and I am not getting rid of it that made me wonder if it is ok.

Since you are already decorating for her just say "You know what I think would work nicely with this arrangement? Remember that piece you gave me? I would be happy to loan it back to you until we can come up with something you like better."

I would feel fine about it. I would not even say anything about it-- just hang it.

Pal: do you remember giving this to me, it's been quite a number of years ago.
Sis:I kind of remember~can't believe you still have it.
Pal:Yes, still have it, and it's been hanging in different places over the last 10 years. I was thinking it would look great in that space you want me to do for you. What do you think? I still like it, but it's about time I got something different. You know how I hang on to things. Would you feel offended?
Sis:just because *I* gave it to you doesn't mean you have to keep it forever and be buried with it like king Tut. I've been wondering if you were ever going to take it down and get something new. Yes, I like it, and think it would be a great addition in the space, as well as a wonderful memory of you. Let's do it.

Just my 2 cents, but when someone gives you something it isn't as though there's a license 'to be kept forever' stamped across it. I've gone thru the same thing with things, and while I feel a sadness, life goes on. An item doesn't necessarily have to 'wear out' to let go of it.

From things you have said in the past, it sounds like your sister "relies" on you for her decorating needs and advice. If I were your sister, and you thought it would look nice in my decor, I would be pleased that you were were willing to use it in my space.

As much as you dislike something that is distasteful/doesn't work, I don't think you would force it on her. Even if you just want to get rid of it.

i wouldn't think twice about hanging it there, but i would definitely mention it to her rather than hope that she doesn't notice/remember.... just tell her you couldn't stop thinking about how it would look perfect there and you had to try it. tell her you'll ask for it back if you find a better spot for it in your future place...

I have been a return gifter and the other person, a good friend loved it. "Hey listen. Remember that cute wall hanging you got for me from costa rica? We loved it and it has been hanging in our XXX for ages. I actually think this would work much better in your entry hall in that spot near XXX She loved it..

I also let a cousin setting up a new apartment borrow/ take an oldish lamp. I love it and everytime I go to their place, I wish she would return it to me.

"Since you are already decorating for her just say "You know what I think would work nicely with this arrangement? Remember that piece you gave me? I would be happy to loan it back to you until we can come up with something you like better."

Excellent approach! You could also add at the end, "Take as long as you need to."