Oh my! I understand the roller coaster you're on, garden wench. Mum had a stroke in July 04 and is back home with me, mercifully. It's difficult to watch a parent struggle with things that used to be reasonably simple. It's difficult to be "in charge" of not only care and medical decisions, but finances, as well. Clothing: pull on pants are WONDERFUL! I bought 4 pair of the pull on, stretch cordouroy ones that were in the Lands End catalogue last fall. Mum LOVES them; they wash and wear like a dream, and they fit her well. I had good luck with LL Bean in fall 04, buying slacks in a heavy-weight knit AND buying the coordinating tops, too. Mum has trouble with buttons, so I try to find things that pull over the head and have buttons as a pretty detail, or a pretty neckline/collar. I've had great luck at Eddie Bauer, too... lovely cotton sweaters and stretchy turtlenecks. I generally order 1 of something from a catalogue, once it's been tried on and receives the thumbs up I get right on line and order several. Buy things that will tolerate the industrial laundry service at a nursing home. Mum lives with me, so I am able to spend time with stain removal and the few "handle with care" items she has in her wardrobe. I was trained as a tailor, and I sew for a living. I do all the required alterations myself, saving snippits of the fabric to take with me when I stop by a store. I'm able to match things and get wonderful bargains. I insist that Mum have socks that match her slacks, lol, I insist the woman who helps her bathe use them, too! Mum was very fashionable before her health crashed and I have maintained that aspect of her life for her. She has pretty scarves, nice accessories, and they are all there for the "bath lady" and Mum to peruse and choose. I have patterned things that she likes particularly well, and have made new ones for her in new and exciting fabrics. I have found several stores where the saleshelp is patient and fun. I scout the stores for "good stuff" and then take Mum OUT, we go midweek when things are not very busy; we have a blast. I find shopping for shoes to be particularly trying. She is incredibly fussy, and she has to have "good, sensible shoes". I have to take her shoe shopping again, and I dread it. I take her for a haircut every 4 weeks. She has great hair, and gets a stylish, short haircut (easy to maintain and style), and has her nails trimmed, shaped, and buffed. I refuse to allow her look "shaggy", sloppy, and "old". Even her eyeglasses are fashionable! and we have to address the need for some sunglasses, a new wallet, and a "user friendly" handbag, too. Ugh... The helpmeet is often frustrated by our lack of freedom, too. But he is wonderful with Mum. I get her up in the morning, make sure she's washed and dressed and at the breakfast table. I usually see that she has taken her morning meds. and has her bowl of fresh fruit and a cup of tea/coffee (decaf. only). He takes over and prepares her an egg, pancakes, french toast, etc.. He returns home for lunch and sees that she has lunch with him. I'm home in the afternoon and see that she has a snack, water, and goes outdoors for exercise. I do the lion's share of her care (urostomy changes, and requisite daily maintenace), involving her as much as is practicable, but he is wonderful with her! good humored and patient beyond measure. I have to do her finances tonight, as a matter of fact. It always seems worse than it turns out to be, but it does add an additional 1/2 hr. to what's already been a long day. I understand. Hang in there; you will find a way to make it all work, but it takes time, patience, and sense of humor.

Carol, DF would not be able to sell the farm without DM's consent, and so that would not happen secretly. He has only a small portion of what was the original estate from 1870, as it got divided a couple of times, but he lives on the original homestead and is listed in the Texas historical registry for continuous one family ownership for more than 100 years. My brother in Texas wants to continue the ownership, and his son will probably want to take care of it after that. I tried to call Mother yesterday, and DF answered the phone, which was a bit of a surprise. He said he was doing fine (which he isn't) and that Mother had gone to town to pick something up and had left him in the house alone (also not true). He then told me that someone had stolen his pickup and that it was probably in Mexico by now. That was pretty much the extent of our conversation, and then he told me that he would have DM call me when she got back. She did call me a few minutes later while Kevin and I were on the phone with our sister, and DM told us that she had never left the house but was merely in a different bedroom - where I guess she had gone to get away from DF. He seems to be driving her crazy, and she has very little patience for him. She told me that she threatened to leave him if he didn't stop telling her the same wild stories over and over, and so I guess he has the idea that she might leave at any moment. According to DS, someone is with him 24 hours, as he cannot be left alone for any stretch of time. I'm sure that my brother and his wife are doing everything they can to speed up his entrance to the nursing home, which is where everyone agrees that he needs to be - that is, everyone except DF. He would try to drive his pickup if my brother had not taken it away, even though he is almost completely blind. My mother gets tired of hearing him ask to be taken home and keeps trying to convince him that he is already at home. DB and his wife will be moving back into their own house in a couple of weeks, and this will make it more difficult for DM. At this point, I am just trusting my brother to make the right decisions, as I am not in a position to move back to Texas to help with the care. Speaking of sheriffs - DF threatened to call his local sheriff to have him come and pick him up and take him home unless DM takes him - he thinks he is being held hostage at times. Linda, what do you mean by "calling hospice"? I'm not sure what that is. It's nice that your son visited you from Sweden, but I think you are a long way from having to worry about death. It's very nice that you visit nursing homes yourself - I haven't been since my grandmother died. We gave our mother a big 80th birthday party and also a big 60th wedding anniversary party, and that was the last good family reunion we had, I think, except for maybe my nephew's wedding, and I can't remember when that was. I'm trying to figure out if and/or when we should plan another trip to see our family. We were there last December, less than four months ago; DF's birthday is in June, and he will be 89. Lars

The folks in Washington DC already extended the Mortgage Forgiveness Relief Act once in 2012 to December 2013. For this reason alone, it's in your best interests to try to move quickly. Unfortunately, I fear you will never make it by year's end. But fortunately, the amount of forgiveness will be minor (and probably offset by medical expenses). The way it would work is say you got 280K for your home, but your loan balance is 300K. You would get a 1099C for 20K from your lender and you would have to pay taxes on that money. The Forgiveness Act made the 20K non-taxable. As of January 1, 2014 (barring another extension), that practice will return to many states, if not most of the country.

Can you post a photo of a leaf in close up?? They look very small and I am unable to determine what species it might be from the current photos. To be honest, your tree looks much worse than I had imagined from your description. In fact, it is more dead than alive and I am not sure it is recoverable. Large portions of dieback like what is showing is often an indicator of a vascular issue that is pretty much a fatal situation with maples. Cut off that lowest dead limb as close to trunk as you can manage. Peel off the bark at the cut end for several inches and give us a photo of that as well as a shot of the cut itself. That could help to narrow things down.......