Tell me this won't happen to us Seniors!

15 years ago

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that

her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her

situation to the dispatcher: 'They've stolen the stereo, the steering

wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said, 'Stay calm.. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes later, the officer radios in. 'Disregard.' He says. 'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!

_________________________________________

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One

night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses.

She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the

bath?' The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.'

She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or

down? The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening

to her sisters; she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help Both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!!

_________________________________________

'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!' Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the Other, 'Windy, isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied, 'it's Thursday.' And the third man chimed in, 'So am I. Let's have a beer.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!!

_________________________________________

A little old lady was going up and down the halls in a nursing

home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her

nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.' He sat

silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!!

_________________________________________

Now this one is just too Precious...LOL!

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the

years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately,

their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play

cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ... I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought And thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.' Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!!

_________________________________________

SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone

rang. Answering, he heard his wife Susan's voice urgently warning him, 'Cowboy, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Cowboy, 'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!'

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!!

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Comments (11)

JoanMN
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I really love that last one!
JoanMN/fL
glenda_al
Original Author
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I loved the one about the 3 sisters!
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cheryl_ok
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I've heard a few of these before...I like the last one also! LOL
cynic
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I agree... let's have a beer
joyfulguy
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Now ...

... which one was it that I liked best?

o j
jel48
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
They were all great! Sadly, I can come close to relating....
donna_oh
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
These are too funny--Thx for the laughs!

Donna (^_^)
clubm
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
I'll have the soup!! LOL!!
chisue
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
The Supersex joke reminds me of an oldie.

A man in NYC took his wife to a psychologist for therapy because she had no interest in sex. The doc took her into a dimly lighted room; had her lie on a couch; told her to relax.. "I want you to lie here and just think about sex," he instructed. "I'll come back in a few minutes and we'll talk."

When he returned the lady said, "Doctor, I've considered it from all aspects, and I've come to the conclusion that Saks is the best store in NYC."
glenda_al
Original Author
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
That's funny chisue!
maryanntx
15 years ago
last modified: 9 years ago
Those are hilarious! It took me a while to get the supersex one. LOL

Tell me this won't happen to us Seniors!

Comments (11)

JoanMN

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Tell me this won't happen to us Seniors!

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