Dealing with a family of Hoarders...
groomingal
16 years ago
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16 years agolast modified: 9 years agocynandjon
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Cat hoarder....
Comments (9)Wow - I cannot believe the SPCA will not look into that. Is there any other kind of animal control office within your jurisdiction? Maybe you could call a veterinarian and they could offer advice? I would be more worried about the welfare of the cats themselves. A lot of people who are "only trying to help" actually get in way over their head and end up neglecting the animals. As far as getting them to clean up their yard, good luck with that. It will be easier to have someone do something about the cats. Sorry to hear about that - I hope things get better soon....See MoreOT? How to deal with DH's horribly cheap family? LONG
Comments (14)You can't change anyone's behavior except your own. So wishing that the joint gifts would stop or that they will stop chastising you if you don't chip in isn't going to get you anywhere. You can either continue to contribute to group gifts in order to keep the peace and get over your feelings about it, OR you can quit contributing and just deal with (ignore if possible) the scolding from MIL. IDEA: What if you just chip in a nominal amount to their gift $5 or $10, quit giving $60 because you know it won't be matched. Then you can always buy a separate gift for the recipient, spending what you consider to be an appropriate amount. As for the birthday gifts, who ever said that you HAVE to buy someone a gift, and that it has to be something on their $100 list? Buy IF and WHAT you want and leave it at that. You're letting them bully you into buying them expensive gifts. They probably will still bully you but whether you let them is up to you. You're worried about not ruining the relationship and I can really sympathize with that. But what I've learned is that your in-laws are going to behave the way they want to no matter what. In my first marriage, no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, MIL just didn't like me. And believe me, I tried! What a wasted effort. Second marriage, I'm just myself and nothing more, and unfortunaely inlaws & I have had a couple of unavoidable run-ins due to circumstances beyond our control. However, they still love me and treat me with respect (and vice versa). Bottom line, you need to live your own life, do what's best for you (just as they are apparently doing!!) and quit acquiescing to their expectations. It's fine to give in on some things, especially the things that are not important to you, but things that go against your grain like this apparently does, stand your ground and do what works for you....See MoreFor those of you dealing with dimentia/alzheimers friends/family.
Comments (8)Two.25 I have a smalll understanding of what you are facing. My Mom had dementia and did the wandering etc that you describe. She was in her early 80s and my Dad who was a couple of years older was her care giver. He would not even consider a nursing home for her which I think was a mistake. My brother who lived about 30 minutes away from them went several times a week to help. My sister and I lived about 6 hours away so were not able to go as often. Eventually both parents lived with my brother until my mom passed away in the hospital where she went after a fall. My Dad died several years later. Please try to convince your Mom to get as much help as she can because this can go on for years. Don't discount any agency without checking into services they might offer--even hospice can help. I wish you and your family the strength you will need and some peace for your mom's husband. Satine...See MoreTwp Happy Endings Tonight on Hoarders (tv show)
Comments (3)It is a very divisive disorder that can shatter family relationships. I had two great Aunts who were a year apart in age and went through school in the same grade and were very close. Once one of them went back to where they grew up to visit the other - she basically walked in to the house turned around and walked out and went to stay with my Grandmother (her sister in-law). They spoke but my Aunt who was visiting couldn't understand how her sister could live like that and they were never as close. They grew up poor and under quite difficult circumstances (poverty and anti-semitism) and my Aunt was very hurt that her sister would live like that. Both were very tough but very sweet ladies who cared a great deal about one another but the hoarding was too much. Most of us in the family are pack rats - we all have to be vigilant or things get away from us....See Morearizonarose
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