you can fart and know one gives a "toot" ok i know bad lmbo

Your teeth keep breaking or cracking, not laughing about it either.
New pains when you don't expect them, isn't that enough?

You get your exercise walking in and out of the same room several times forgetting what you're there for. I suppose that's better than not remembering how you got there.

When you bend over to tie your shoes.... you look for something else to do while you're down there.

I can't take credit - I read that in my Dr office a few years back and loved it :-)

I love that I don't have to worry about what others think of me. I like myself and if others like me that's great and if they don't, well, it doesn't bother me.

YOU WEAR YOUR GLASSES INTO THE SHOWER FOR THE FIRST TIME, BY MISTAKE.

You make your best friend swear that if
you ever go in the hospital, she will
come and pluck your chin.

I told my doctor that I didn't recognize my feet - don't know what happened but someone else's toes have appeared on my feet! He said it was probably the shoes I wear and to that I answered, "yeh, and some MAN probably designed them!"

There are wrinkles that I'll swear weren't there when I went to bed! Someone must sneak in and draw lines on my face.:(

Eva, it must be the same someone who puts extra chins on what used to be a nice slender jaw line.

Linda

Leaking when I cough or sneeze. I can not laugh about it cause I would leak if do that too. Dottie

WhenI'm 90 I'll let you know it's a long way off

I can certainly relate
Leaking when I cough or sneeze

It's harder to lose weight than it was when you were 50.
For all we complain about growing old, it is better than the alternative. So far, I have lost two good friends to cancer and a third friend is under hospice care.

It takes 6 of us oldies to complete a sentence!! Ya know like----Heck, whats the name of that place?---Or whats his name----etc--etc--LOL

Donna (^_^)

Why does it seem like my feet are getting farther away?

I read this the other day..because my memory is so short, I can't recall where, but I had to laugh when I read, "Well, at least my wrinkles don't hurt." LOL

Not funny! I have asked my DDIL if she would promise to pull out those wiskers that persist on growing under my chin. Ugh!

You look at your legs and wonder if this Halloween you should just go (un)dressed as a road map.

The getting ready for bed routine

10:30 pm. Take before bed pills
11:00 pm. Watch the news

11:35 pm. Brush teeth and leave them in a cup on the sink. Go potty. Put on flannel jammies.

11:45 pm. Stop in kitchen to prepare insulin injection. Go back to bathroom to get eyeglasses so can see where needle is that fell on the floor.

11:55 pm. In bedroom, insert earplugs
11:58 pm. Go back to bathroom to get nasal strip and look in the mirror while applying it in the right place.

12:01 am. Put on c-pap mask and attach it to hose.

12:03 am. Remove hose and go to bottom of bed and lay extra blanket over foot area.

12:05 am. Reattach hose to mask and lie down.

12:20 am. remove hose from c-pap, get up, take off flannel jammies and take blanket off feet.

This is my dear husbands bedtime routine. I had to ask him last night how long it would be till he would have to remove his glass eye?

I've never been one to ask for help...Tearing up both shoulders in the last few years have made me realize I'm no longer a spring chicken and I've learned to ask for help...and it drives me nuts that I occasionally have to wait for help...probabaly why I never liked asking to begin with...

My eyesight it what bothers me the most...I have glasses for reading...glasses for watching TV...glasses for driving...the pair I got last summer are already not strong enough...

Getting old is not for sissies...

I hate it when doctor appointments litter my calendars!

There are some good things about getting old though. You can say any obnoxious thing and just have someone say well, s/he's just old! The older you get, the less peer pressure there is, by attrition.

However, gettin' old ain't all it's cracked up to be. Hardly worth it for that senior cup of coffee at McD's.

But then again, you CAN hide your own Easter eggs.

You may have had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes be half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make ya dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. have bouts with dementia and poor circulation, hardly feel hands or feet, can't remember if you're 85 or 92 lost all my friends, but hey... still have the driver's license!

And of course be careful when you make the same noises as the coffee maker.

Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.

'OLD' IS WHEN.. Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door,

'OLD' IS WHEN...
Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police

'OLD' IS WHEN. ..
'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fiber today.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

AND

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are not sure these are jokes