how about, "those poor, lonely clothes, sitting in your attic when they could be having a fulfilling life helping someone else, or being reincarnated elsewhere. You are standing in the way of their self-actualization. And just like the guy who strings his fiancee along, never actually marrying her, you are wasting their youth; they won't be able to "find a husband" bcs by the time you cut them loose, they'll be past their prime. Damaged by heat, or the elastic will be shot, or the color/design will be SO out of style.

Cut them loose, so they can find a purpose in life!

LOL You know, Talley Sue, that just might work!

My DIL actually taught me to have a little goodbye ritual if I find I'm dithering about parting with something that I never wear.
She is my de-cluttering buddy, and I actually look forward to all the fun we have going through my closet.
We give little speeches to clothes, telling them "goodbye" and either thanking them for a wonderful relationship, or that we were never compatible, and it's time to move on.

Sometimes I find that all that's holding me back is simple old guilt...guilt about cost, mistakes, waste, impulse buys etc, rather than that I don't want to part with the clothes. Sometimes too, it's having to face up to the fact that life is moving on, .... letting go the leggings, the bikini, the pencil skirt, the halter top, the wet-suit, is having to admit that I'm older, I'm a different shape, my ski-ing days are over, time is moving along.

I find that what really helps me too, is to just see the clothing as what it really is... simply fabric, sewn together, with a bit of hardware added on. It's not my memories, it's not my life, it's not *me*.
I had a real eye opener one time. I'd hung onto an outfit that I bought for my son's wedding, and that I wore quite a bit afterwards. I found it hart to part with, even though I knew it had "had it's day". A few weeks after I had put it in the give-away bag, I saw the same suit in a shop on the "bargain" rack, and realised that if I was shopping for clothes, I wouldn't have given it a second glance. Now I use that as my standard, if I'm in doubt about purging an item from my closet.
"Would I buy you today if I saw you in a shop?"

No good advice here -- I have the same problem. lilydilly, that last suggestion might work for me!

The thing that helps me the most is my own vanity combined with what I described in a previous post as a method of giving things a ruthless trial-by-wearing.

See if you can identify what are at least candidates for discarding; then wear them (particularly what you think are outfits)on the exact type of occasions you'd expect to use them. Another thing, which I haven't done but I might like to get my daughter to help with, is, if you have a clothes buddy and can get her to take a photo on a digital camera (to just look at and discard), I think that would help, too. I pitched out several things after seeing myself in family photos.

Anyway, the mirror test has helped me since I'll find, whoa, even though those colors match great, overall I just look frumpy (or whatever).

I think this can be harder for young women who tend to look good in everything, or are "allowed" more fashion leeway, but the flip side is, they often have a much more specific "style" they're trying to achieve in any given year (or month!)and so can edit wardrobes on that basis.

Aside from that, I found I just need to not go "looking" for things, especially any kind of random looking, since it's entirely possible that I'll find something that does look good, and I can afford it, but it will just duplicate something I already have, but then I won't be able to discard the other thing if IT still looks good.

I like Talley Sue's advice. Very clever way to look at the situation.

If you REALLY want to be ruthless, take all the clothes out of your closet. Try them on, one by one, or in combinations. If they don't flatter you, if the style looks dated, if the fabric is past its prime, DON'T PUT THEM BACK.

If they are nice enough to wear, but don't flatter YOU, they go to charity.

If they are stained or torn, why do you think someone else should wear them? Give them a proper burial in a trash heap. Be sure to save a few slouchy things for yourself -- for when you are painting and working in the garage.

If you don't know what flatters you, visit missussmartypants.com . I paid money to subscribe to a year of advice. For the first time in my life, I actually love to shop for clothes! When I walk into a store, it only takes me an an instant to see which clothes would not work for me, and which would look nice.

It was worth the subscription fee, because from now on, all the clothes I buy will be worn -- by me -- until they're worn out!

There are also books out there that will teach you what flatters you. Try the library first, because it's free.

Good luck, Susan!

Thanks, everyone! It's good to have a cheering section. This forum was invaluable to me when I faced the overwhelming situation that was my house six years ago.

I think a lot of my difficulty re clothing has to do with weight. I lost a significant amount of weight 13 years ago and threw away my fat clothes. That was a good move. I stayed at my bottom weight for five or six years and then gradually went up one size. I realized that I was unlikely to return to the lower weight (and that was fine), so I threw out my thinnest clothes. That was a good move, too.

But in the past couple of years I've moved up yet another size, and I'm not happy about that. I'm working on reversing it, but meanwhile I look at my clothes and think, Can't get rid of that. I'll fit into it again someday. I imagine a lot of women experience the same kind of thinking.

The other thing is sentimental attachment. Not to the article of clothing, necessarily, but to the event or time period (more often the latter) I associate it with.

I know what you mean about the multiple sizes in your closet, Alisande! it stinks. I have a variety too :) I did a big purge recently though, and threw away tons of stuff. The skinny stuff I had to be realistic about and decide if I will ever actually be that size again. And then will it still be in style? so I donated.

Then I was talking to a friend who is military and preparing to move yet again and she really set me straight. I was saying that I felt so bad about these great clothes in my closet that I never wear for one reason or another. Too good to donate, is what I was thinking I guess. She told me of course donate the clothes while they are still really nice so someone can wear them! THATS when you want to donate them. The really good clothes will find homes at the charity of my choice and they will be worn. We should aim to get rid of the clothes while they are still nice so somebody will happily wear them. Sounds simple, but really got me thinking and now I don't think twice about getting rid of stuff that is still really nice (or new), but that I never wear.

Good luck, I feel your pain!

Take a look at the books by Judith Kolberg. They are on organizing strategies (including decluttering) for those with ADD/ADHD. Little did I know--a middle-aged academic--that I manifest almost every characteristic of someone with ADD. Her books have helped me a lot.

My husband is an absolute clothes horse ! He has more than 3 women put together !! LOL
Anyway, my weight has gone up and down 40 pounds within the past 6 years. When I got really thin, I got rid of all my "fat" clothes and now I need them again. But, they really wouldn't be in style now anyway. SO, my advise to you is to just bag up everything that you have not worn in the past 6 months and just get rid of them. You will feel so liberated when you have space in your closet and attic !

I want to thank all of you for the interesting - and to me timely post, and especially to Lilydilly for the helpful comment about "would I buy you today if I saw you in a shop?" when trying to purge clothing...I have had a horrible longstanding pattern of keeping most clothing except stained or otherwise damaged. Note I didn't say dated, as over the years as an overweight person, I have at times been grateful to just have something to wear that fits...which may be where this difficulty with letting go of clothing began. I have multiple sizes boxed away. About 5 years ago I started losing weight, but didn't get rid of the largest sizes, and later when I began to gain, I think it didn't help that I had the security of clothing on hand that would fit. Recently, I finally began losing again, but this time I am determined to burn that bridge. I am nearly done bagging all the baggy clothing and will begin donating it this weekend. I am really proud of myself! Additionally, as I brought summer clothing out of storage, I asked myself Lilydilly's question on every piece I tried on, and frankly, many items which I was initially uncertain about, did not then make the grade when I asked that defining question!!! I've been providing storage space to many many items that don't look so good or fit well, or that frankly, with the more judicious eye due to Lilydilly, I've determined that I don't even really like!!! My goal is to get through every box and eliminate all but the very best. Thanks for the help! Penny

Glad it was helpful peegee...
For some reason too, once I've put something into a "give away" bag, I never change my mind and want it back. It seems that once I've detatched any sentiment from it, then it just becomes a tired old thing.
The weight thing is a pain isn't it? When I'm in my slim mode, that's when I like to buy new clothes, then when the weight goes up, I'm back wearing old faithfuls, while the lovely slim clothes hang there, poking their tongues out at me. Sigh!