Hi Allison: Please keep us posted on Monday .. thanks for the info. of requested tests on Stop the Thyroid Madness site. In the old days, doctors went overboard in unnecessary tests & surgeries, but nowadays insurance put a restriction on that. Over a decade ago my sister wore her hair in an "onion" bun (capped with a metallic hair fastener), they took X-ray and the doc. thought it was a HUGE GOITER, or HUGE THROAT CANCER. They did CT scan & MRI & unnecessary tests just to find out that it's a bundle of hair & metallic cap. I wrote to my insurance asking for further thyroid antibody-test & neck-checking for my 12-year old daughter, and my insurance wrote back " You can submit a pre-authorization request for review. This normally includes a letter of medical necessity with medical records to substantiate the service. This review generally takes 15-20 business days and all responses are made in writing. " From StrawChicago: I will wait for the kelp snack to boost her metabolism, and if she becomes depressed again during the summer, then I will take her for further thyroid-test. When I read through the Earthclinic.com/People's pharmacy website, one person reported solving her hypothyroid just by consuming a few Brazil nuts a day (high in selenium, necessary for normal thyroid function). Another person solved her hypothyroid with Stress-Tabs (Vit. C 120 mg, Thiamin 10mg, Riboflavin 10mg, Niacin 50 mg, Vit. B6 5 mg, Folate 400 mcg, Vit. B12 100mcg, Panthothenic Acid 40 mg, Proprietary Amino Acid Blend 100 mg (Arginine, Glutamine, Taurine), Sensoril extract.). The NON-MEDICATED approach is more effective & less side-effects because it comprises of a vast array of nutrients to boost thyroid health. Plus one can adjust the dose by oneself (less Brazil nut, or less seaweed snack) ... without going through the doctor. There are side effects for Levothyroxine: Insomnia, flushing, muscle pain, fatique, mood swings. There's a long list of side-effects of Synthroid, see the link below: https://synthroidhaters.wordpress.com/synthroid-side-effects/ When I googled, "The problem with Synthroid", there are tons of info. of horrible effects either through buying less-effective generic drugs, or it doesn't work, or the dose is too high, etc. Here's one example: " Saw dr after labs and ultrasound dx cysts on thryoid and hypo put me on generic synthroid.25. On meds for approx 6 weeks became very hoarse to the point of not being able to speak, not sleeping for more than 3 hrs, terrible bloating and gas, increased racing heart and "shaking like tremors". ... Subsequently I felt so bad I stopped the med without her knowlege. Hoarseness, sleeping, hand symptoms and chest fulness, bloating have improved to what they were before starting meds." http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Thyroid-Disorders/problem-with-synthroid/show/1587399 From Stop the thyroid madness site: "Did you know that a healthy thyroid makes five hormones?? They are T4, T3, T2, T1 and calcitonin. T4, also called thyroxine, is simply a storage hormone meant to convert to T3, the active hormone. But a healthy thyroid doesn’t make you totally depend on conversion alone, and also gives you “direct” T3 plus the other hormones above ... Being on a T4-only med means you are missing out on four other hormones directly, and thus, you are being forced to live for conversion alone!" Many people complained that Armour Thyroid (dried pig thyroids) are no longer available, and the chemical Synthroid has tons of side-effects, which they can't handle. See an excerpt from below link: "I had been on Armour thyroid for several years and it worked really well. Unfortunately, my last prescription was put on hold by the manufacturer and I have not been able to get it filled. That was in July 2009. My dr. had to put me on Synthroid instead and I feel terrible now. I have insomnia and anxiety yet my blood tests look fine. I'm not sure what to do now. I've called the pharmacy several times in the last 4 months and Armour is still not available to the public. " http://www.endocrineweb.com/community/hypothyroidism/1288-armour-thyroid-vs-Synthroid "About a year ago I was prescribed Synthroid and almost immediately had a pretty severe reaction to it. Throat swelled, ankles and hands swelled, heart raced ... felt like crap. My doctor switched me to an all natural herbal product called "Innate Thyroid Response." It worked pretty well until just recently. So I'm going back for a tune-up. :o) Doctors and pharmacists are provided ve-e-ery generous "perks" by pharmaceutical reps for pushing what my doctor calls, "designer drugs." The more expensive the drug, the "more effective" it is often touted to be, when often that could not be further from the truth. I would question the motives of a doctor who "insists" that one drug is preferable to another ... especially a tried and true oldie like Armour." Tinyhandz said... 2 years 52 weeks ago "I was on Synthroid for a while and I really did not like the way it made me feel. I was shaky, nervous, couldnt sleep, and I became very anxious over the months that I was taking it." http://www.endocrineweb.com/community/hypothyroidism/1288-armour-thyroid-vs-synthroid

If the mom wants/needs it and the child ALSO wants/needs it, there is nothing wrong with three times a day. However, me, personally? I'd throw my phone away and send him a book of stamps if he called me that much. For me personally, that would be way too needy an expression, I'd be EXTREMELY worried about him and what was going on in his life. For him, it would be an unreasonable expectation on my part. He would cheerfully inform me of this fact. I would expect him to! I'm not so sure that "love" has so much to do with how frequently children speak with their parents or vice versa if the contact between them is reasonable. To me, there is probably a problem within the relationship if someone is feeling abandoned because of the lack of frequency, rather than the "expectations" which aren't being met. That's my take on it.

Thanks very much. Very good advice, some I know, yet need to refocus. I will look into the device Aisha, sounds awesome. Donna Anne Your empathy and Validation is encouraging. My daughter wouldn't answer my calls, so I called her at her part time job. She said she hadn't answered because she wasn't ready to talk. I asked her if she felt better, she said she was still PO,ed. I told her that I have never jumped on her on any of these issues, she said she was angry at herself. I told her that wasn't right. She's not supposed to feel that way. I told her we could get her an apartment. She said she wanted to wait till she graduated and get an apartment with her boyfriend. Then I called the 19 yr old son, he said the pay stub thing makes him feel like he's doing something against them. I explained that, its just black and white info, and that everyone doe's it and has to go through these procedures. That to think it was wrong would be distorted thinking. He said he felt sorry for my daughter. Which was good because he's never been to nice to her. I told him I apriciated his empathy for her. Which he has of course because he can relate. He said, it has to be worse for her because he himself is supporting himself. When my daughter showed her fear, apprehension and sadness. also detachment was quite visible. I felt stress in my shoulders and head. I wanted a verbal confrontation with the SD in a big way. Because Im sure my passivity gives him free rein. Ive learned to speak up a lot more these last five years. Because there inflamatory redrick turns cop,s GAL,s and judges against me. So Ive learned to forget the preliminarys and jump right on the aces. It has helped. Last Labor Day weekend was my holiday. The BM family has a annual reunion. If the BM would ask I would trade in a heartbeat But since she,s not allowed to talk to me, they prefer to steal it. I called the 14 yr old at the time, at 4:00. Pick up time was 6:00. He said they were getting ready to leave. I told him to stay right there I was on my way and I would have the cops there. When I arrived, the cops were there, I parked on the street and stepped out my car door. SD said he's not allowed on this property. The sheriff asked me to stay in my car we would talk in a minite. Sitting back down I could see the SD running his mouth. So I stood up again and said, "he has nothing to do with this and everything he says is Hogwash anyway. The sheriff guy said just a minute sir and I'll be with you. They walked to my car. They told me I would have to get a lawyer this was a civil offense. I said, it's also a criminal offense. Then the other deputy started acting like Barney Five, jabbing himself in the chest and rudely asking me if I was trying to tell him his job. So I said yes sir I guess I am. and I showed him a copy of the statutes. He said Oh, a class c misdemeanor, it might as well be a civil offense. On the way there I was hoping the SD or the BM would come out and opologize for the mishap and offer a trade and keep the conflict down. While I was talking to the cops. I found out from the youngest that the SD had pursued my crying daughter to her room demanding that she come out and tell the cops she didnt want to go. The nice cop said he would make a report. Since pick up time was 6:00 I went to the police department were I had been working with a detective on the visit problems. He wanted to call my ex, so he went down the hall. While I was sitting there my Daughter called. She was crying like I had never heard her before. ( in the past her voice would be strained and scared sometimes her face would be grey , sometimes a tear rolling down her face, like when she was 8 and I was picking them up. she came up to the door of the truck, she said, (Daddy" Alisha is going to the State Fair, I want to go but I need 5 more dollars and SD says if I see my friends again while I'm with you I'm in big trouble by him, I said "Honey, Grandpas getting the horses ready to go ride around the lake and maybe Alisha can go with us sometime. Turned out, My Dad was taking his other Grandkids to the fair, so we went. So BD rode rides with Alisha. The youngest told on BD. So they grounded her for two weeks. I explained discretion very nicely to the young boy and the other two. They have all been very discreet since. So I took them to court.... Back to the Detectives office. She called crying so hard she was struggling to breath, she said, Daddy I don't want to go with you and I don't want to stay here, I want to go to Jeanie's, I can talk to her. I told her I would pick her up and take her to Jeanie's at 6:00. I went to her work and told Jeanie that I was gonna bring my BD. Jeanie loved horses, so I told them if they wanted that they could relax for the night and that if they would like I would have the horses and a paid campsite at the state park for the weekend if they liked. Jeanie's Father had always kept her from her Mother and she was seeing her Mother behind his back. I picked up the kids and told them that I would take them to that reunion if they preferred it to the park that I could find something to do in that part of the state. They said the Horse thing was good. Yet it was obvious to me that they were internalizing much of the weekend. Back to the State fair and the no phone contact and taking them to court. I knew they would lie and manipulate the court, so I took a newspaper reporter with me. He had put my pic on the front page of the town paper and gave me a nicname (Boxing tournement) without my permission so he had to help me. (positive manipulation?) At court the SD left the court room, went into the clerks office, told them someone was taping. They went into the hearing room behind the judge and told him. The judge went to the reporter and tore the tape out of his recorder with an attitude. The judge continued the hearing for more evidence. That was like Feb 2, then like feb 21st an annoyomous caller called cps and said that my BD said she touched my thing through my pants. This is unknown to me, I go to pick them up, only the boys come out. The elder says she went with Mammaw. The next visit, no BD this time my boy said he'd call the police. I went to the door and asked my ex wheres my BD. she said, she's a liar and arrogant like you are. She was nine yrs old. I could be crying right now recanting this. Its been to much to long. I filed for an emergency hearing. No response, I filed again. The baliff told me on the phone, that my daughter had implicated the SD for sex abuse. I got the criteria on sex abuse from the National child abuse foundation. It said that a control freak is more likley to molest that a pervert. I thought my BD was teaching him a lesson. The more I learned the more I believed he did it. The CPS report reads that she said he felt her privates under her clothes and that he stood over the toilet and pee came out and he said thats where Babies come from. Cps sent her to family works, they sent her to the sex crime de3tectives. She told the same story each time, so brave. The criteria also said a child that age would not lie except to escape an intolorable situation. In the emergency hearing the exs lawyer was distorting things(right, wrong or indifferent, he was a litigator he said to me, in the hall when I confronted him) He filed saying my daughter implicated me then changed her story. The judge put me on supervised and the SD on a no-contact. He ignored it. I filed contempt, she was found in contempt for allowing it. they continued to ignore it. I picked up the boys. And sd was there with BD. I called the cops, they said stay there, we'll send someone. The cops pulled up to there house while I was down the street. My older boy about 12 wanted to head to the farm badly. I told him I had to be a Dad. The cops after talking to them, came and arrested me for invasion of privacy on a protection order. (Bogus allagations for protective order no hearing.) My boy ran crying to the house. I was hand cuffed and sat on the curb waiting for the patty wagon. while the BD and the youngest watched from a window. The cop refused to read the no-contact order. I am writing this for all the value I can get out of it. My wish is for healing of my kids and myself. It is certainly a blight that eats away. I wish to expose the system for what it is (primitive) This was in Indianapolis courts. I liked the head judge but only went in front of her once in 12 years. Its now moved to a more Humane County. Which theres only been one hearing. Where she tried to take my youngest a way this summer. The Judge put more stipulations on her. I hope I don't tick him off, cause this could be a turn around. Thank you for reading. This recounting gives me focus and determination to show the judge next week the hardship I'm dealing with and why my income is low. The support is paid. But I have to lift the kids up when there failing in school. I spent last summer trying to get SD off my kids. Thanks again for the feedback and encouragement.

I am sorry you are so tired and worried. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Your question is how to deal with this without blowing up at your DIL and DS. First and most important, go get counseling yourself or with your husband. The counselor will help you figure out how to set boundaries and how much to give of yourselves. Second, take time to exercise, get plenty of sleep and eat healthy foods. That old adage about flying with children...put the oxygen mask on your own face first so you can help them with theirs.... You will be able to do more for the children in the long run if you stay healthy. Third, your grandchildren have 2 loving grandparents who live next door, a nanny, and 2 parents. They have a network of people. Their love network doesn't look like what you wish for them but they have one. They are loved, they are cared for. Stop focusing on what they don't have and start looking at what they do have. I'm not there, you are, and your concerns may be entirely or partially valid. Having said that, they are 5 and 2. Soon the 5 year old will be more and more involved in school, activities, etc. The 5 year old will go to school all day, then have music lessons, sports activities, friends over, etc. That doesn't mean she won't need you or her parents, but she will be busy. The money your DIL makes will come in very handy for college, extracurricular activities, etc. As the grandkids get older you probably won't be needed nearly as much and that time is probably closer than you think. When that time comes, if you have damaged your relationship with your DS and DIL you will wish you hadn't. Also you may find that your DIL is better with the children as they get older. The comment about DIL not allowing anyone else in the family to be a leader in the family is not germane to this discussion. Your son could still have tea parties with his kids, take them camping, build block towers, bake cookies with them, play soccer in the yard. DIL is not stopping him from that. Stop letting those leadership thoughts live rent free in your head. As you said yourself, your son could make different choices, he doesn't, and that's on him, not his wife. I don't know, only you do, so I could be very wrong. I suspect you are enabling your son. I think that because you said he was checking his phone a lot during the day. If he was at home with the grandkids, were you over there taking care of them? There is a fine line between supporting and enabling and a good counselor will help you figure out if you have strayed over into enabling territory. A counselor can help you figure out if part of this is because the family doesn't look like what you expect with your DIL running a demanding business. My husband was building a business when our children were 5 and 2. He would have went on an 11 day trip, returned and went to work the next day and no one would have thought anything about it. He worked long hours then 6 days a week, and on Sunday went to church, came home and napped. He came home every night, gave the kids a bath, ate something and went back to work. This is a tough time for a young family and sometimes that can spill over onto the grandparents. I'm not dismissing your concerns or saying you're wrong. Just one glance at my husband with his little kids and even a total stranger could tell he treasured them, enjoyed them, loved them with his every breath. It's probably not the trip that concerned you but the way your son and DIL interact with their kids when they're present. The generosity issue is a good one to bring up in counseling. I'm not sure why you would want your DS and DIL to be financially generous with you. You have stressed that material things are not your focus, that you make decent money, so not sure why you feel a loss if they don't give you expensive gifts. Perhaps because your DS and DIL give expensive gifts to people they value and you feel not valued. A counselor could help you learn to let that go. Invest in exercise, getting plenty of sleep, eating healthy and counseling. That time will be well spent, and the sooner the better. It may take time to find a good counselor who is the right match for you, so get started now. You may have to try more than one. I hope you find something that helps. Best of luck with your grandchildren.