Yes, what goes around comes around- despite our best attempts to prevent it. Annaleef, you and I need to get together and have a vintage treasures garage sale- free up some closet space! My girls love vintage clothing and one (I have to admit) darling dress DD2 bought on eBay looked strangely familiar. My mother says I wore it to my HS graduation in the mid-seventies. Has anyone's child come home from school and announced they have to dress up for '80s day'? Frightening! My uniform for the eighties was either reverse drag (the small-man-with-a-tie outfit) or my maternity wear, which consisted of a either a long sweatshirt, leggings, scrunchy thick aerobic sox and high-top Reebocks; or oddly desexualizing pink or blue shorts sets with peter-pan collars for the summer pregnancy. My girls were horrified at my 80s wear, and for good reason.

Yeah I'm in NY also and even tho the sun is out, my plants are not (yet). I did buy some primroses at the grocery store and stuck them near my front sidewalk. At least the malman can see them. I need a little color this time of year. Oh, shoot, one extra day in February!

Divorce takes victims - occupies time, money, emotions and there are no winners in the end. Does the husband really want custody? or does he want to punish your cousin in some fashion and/or not be on the hook for child support If your cousin has been primary care giver, he will not get custody. The sporadic support payments make no sense, in any state. It is an equation x amt % of earnings order is set by court period - Regardless of the custody issue this should be enforced - why it is not at this point is baffling & disturbing to say the least. Additionally, the court can order the husband to pay the mortgage as well. If the family was living in the home prior to the separation and he was responsible for payments they can order the same - while the permanent agreement gets hammered out. Same holds true for their schooling, lessons, extracuricular activities - they are entitled to the same level prior to the separation. If she is Ok w/leaving the house, then have it appraised and let the husband give her, her fair market share - She has right to continue to provide her children the same quality of life they experienced during the marriage - So, find another home on the other side of town, or further and rent it out - billed to the husband if the court will agree. The guardian ad litum issue is also disturbing "Some court official told them to get the guardian ad litum. Husband agreed in presence of the official. The lawyers neglected to get the order signed by a judge, and now husband is reneging and they have to go back to court again to get it signed." Sounds like a Mickey Mouse court, with Minnie Mouse attorneys - Who made the recommendation? and on what basis? - If the court records demonstrate this statement - why would you need to go back & pay more fees? If a judge ordered it, it is simply review of transcript and request he pony up This sounds like a circus of sorts, then again, divorce, courts, legal battles frequently are - the beneficiaries are the lawyers, et al - never the children. Your cousin needs to get a backbone and stop playing the victim role. She needs to decide what is best for her, and her children and move on and away from the psycho husband. If he has visitation and the children are at risk in any way, simply call the police - That would make a statement to both the husband and to her children that she means business. They need to feel safe. The 14 yr old can make the call - unless he/she has been trained to don the victim blanket - Puh..lease - The longer the victim blanket feels comfy - the longer this will drag on and the more $$ will be spent. If your cousin decides she wants to move on with her life, then she can take charge of the circus that is now taking every energy. Her children need to see a stable and strong parent - they already have the consequence of divorce working against them. When/if that day comes she can counter all of the requests -i.e. yes, you are welcome to buy my share out - $x amt, and the rent for the home is x/monthly. Does she "like" her attorney because he is expediting the job in an efficient manner or because he is helping her emotionally? Had to ask - I've seen WAY toooooo many atty's take full advantage here. Your cousin needs a tough love approach - it's not about her, it's not about him - it is about the children the most vulnerable victims in this process. She needs to set aside ALL of her own stuff and move forward on their behalf the father certainly doesn't sound as if he is capable. Forget the psycho, drinking, bad behavior issues - they went on during the marriage, she was powerless to stop them then, what makes her think she suddenly has power to do anything about those behaviors now? - It's not about his behaviors - she can be protected from them and so can the children - Only when she chooses to be GOOD LUCk

That was a traumatic experience. Its too bad they kicked in the door. In this particular circumstance, they could have cut the security chain. If the chain was too hard for their cutters, a griding disc will make short work of it. The family was lucky to have a caring individaul such as you to alert the authorties.